The Poet's Eye Winks

[Lightning Rod]

photo New York Times

Click your heels together, Dorothy (behind your ears)

Poet's Eye Winks
for release Halloween 2005
Washington D. C.

Have you ever had a crush on someone who is completely out of reach? A movie actor or a rock-star? A model or a millionaire? Is there a woman out there who hasn't had a secret fantasy affair with Cary Grant or Brad Pitt or Mick Jagger? At least Woody Allen. My first fantasy crush when I was pre-pubescent was Snow White. She was just so perfect and beautiful and kind. I wanted to be a dwarf, preferably Dopey.

Then there was that gorgeous second grade teacher I fell in love with as a first grader. She was so perfect and freckled on the playground in her yellow Doris Day dress. I wasn't even in her class. She was impossible. Then when I was about ten, I thought it would be nice to be on a Ferris wheel with Haley Mills. When I was twelve I nearly hopped a plane to Hawaii to chase Deborah Walley's incarnation of Gidget. Impossible.

By the time I was a teenager I was falling in love every time I saw a Shirley McClain movie. In high school I discovered that the most fascinating girls were not the ones who were simply pretty, but the ones who were smart as well. At some point you have to talk. I started looking for the ones with glasses. There's nothing quite so sexy as a pair of secretarial glasses on the face of a beautiful woman....even a marginally beautiful woman. When Dorothy Parker said that "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses," she hadn't met me.

This brings us to one of my latest impossible crushes, Maureen Dowd. I know that Arianna is going to take this hard, but when I read Maureen's writing or see her crossing her legs on Chris Mathews or Meet the Press and talking in that enticingly intimate voice, I get all gooshey. How sexy can a woman be? Beautiful, sly, minxlike, cunning, smart.....and impossible.

We love to dream the impossible dream. We love to vacation from our work-a-day lives with fantasies of queens and knights and Gatsby and long beaches at night with susserating waves or the clinking of glasses in a fine restaurant atop some spinning tower gazing into the elegant eyes of our witty and beautiful paramours while we exchange bon mots. We all have fleeting remembrances or fantasies of being Katie Holmes or Tom Cruise in an ecstasy of pre-nuptial bliss on the Eiffel Tower.

The truth is that I'm still on the rebound from my crush on Lisa Simpson. She has been my dream woman for years. She's so perfectly idealistic and also smart and resourceful and pure of heart and.....impossible. The perfect woman.

This is why fantasy lovers have it all over real lovers. They are distant and chaste and impossible. Real lovers are present and human and flawed. With real lovers, you have to put the cap back on the toothpaste and endure snoring, farts, burps and morning breath. Real life is the enemy of fantasy.

But let me have this fantasy. I walk into a little bistro somewhere around Capitol Hill and see Maureen Dowd sitting at the bar in a slinky black dress and a pair of red high heels nursing a vodka and tonic and looking pensive. I would slide in on the next stool and say something banal like, "where do I know you from? Ah yes, you are Mareen Dowd. I faithfully read your column."

And she would say, "And you are Lightning Rod, I faithfully read yours."

Ah, we can dream, can't we?

Dear Mr. Gable,
I am writing this to you
and I hope that you will read it so you'll know
My heart beats like a hammer
and I stutter and I stammer
every time I see you at the picture show.
I guess I'm just another fan of yours
and I thought I'd write and tell you so.

---Judy Garland singing to Clark Gable, Broadway Melody of 1938


Who is your crush? Maybe you can find them on Halloween.

[Doreen Peri]

Who is my crush? Well, I tend to be more devoted to my crushes than you do, sounds like. I've had a crush on Mick Jagger since I was 16. And now that he's in his 60's he's even sexier than ever! When he sings, I melt! When he dances, I cannot help it.... I WANT him..... Mmmmmmmm...... Getchyer ya yas out!


He sent me this photo of him but I donated it to
http://www.freecomputerdesktopwallpaper.com
so others can use look at it, too. Micky should be shared.

[Dave The Dov]

WAITTTTTT!!!! What does this have to do with Halloween????
_________________
Mercedes O309

[Zlatko Waterman]

The British actress Jenny Agutter, now 52, shown in this publicity still at about age 35.

You've seen her in many films, and she now does BBC "classics", such as "Silas Marner" with Ben Kingsley.

Some of her films:

Walkabout
Equus
Logan's Run
American Werewolf in London





etc. etc. . . .

I just saw her on a BBC/WGBH "Mystery" program taped for us by a friend, at age 53. She looks very different, with a neck lined like the dark side of the moon, but she's still a fine actress-- wonderfully wicked and confused in this episode.

She and Diana Rigg of the "Avengers" vintage were my super heart-throbs back then ( when? About 1970)-- something about those English accents.

Maybe even those 60's boots? Hmmmm.

[Lightning Rod]

Ok, Z-ko, story time.

You mentioned Logan's Run in your post. I have to say it took me back.
I worked on that film as a make-up artist.
It was a strange and delightful gig.

The filming for Logan's Run (a completely forgettable movie btw) was done in Dallas.

This was back when the big movie companies were starting to film in Dallas and Austin because they didn't have to pay union scale for crew and tech etc.

So Saul David, the producer, and his staff flew into Big D and staged a cattle call at the convention center. Thousands of aspiring local actors and would-be actors and models showed up. In the Logan's Run world everyone is attractive.

Then they chose about 300 of the prettiest faces in Dallas. Dallas has some pretty faces. Then they winnowed them down to about fifty who they called 'the bodies.'

In one scene of the movie, Logan was being pursued through a futuristic sex disco. The concept was to have all these painted bodies undulating under the black lights and him wading through them like a scene from Bosch.

That meant that they needed a bunch of very delectable bodies painted with flourescent paint. So I was hired as a make-up man because....well, I had enough hair that they figured I should be experienced at painting bodies.

They were shooting at a Dallas disco nightclub that they had leased. It was very seventies with all the mirrors and chrome. They rented an apartment a block away to do the make-up in. So for three days, the most beautiful women in Dallas were lined up outside and waiting for me to paint their bodies. Saul David himself was on his knees beside me in the black-light room smearing paint on titties. (it works best when you do it with your fingers.) It was a great gig. They were paying me 75 bucks an hour. Hell, I would have paid them.

[Zlatko Waterman]

Dear LR:

I think Dave is right . . .

We should call this thread:

"Horny-'Ween"



--Z

[Dave The Dov]

Okay I'll go with that!!!! He He!!!! I just hope the ladies are in agreement with it as well!!!!
_________________
Inner Ear Disorders Forum

[mousey1]

Lindsey Buckingham never fails to fog my lenses!!!

I won't bore you with my fantasies as they are of the staidest and purest variety...all on the up and up! Ohhhhh the conversations we could have.....

Hornyween indeed!!!

[gypsyjoker]

Diane R is my hotty. To bad she is married..

[Jenni Mansfield Peal]

Django Reinhardt, strummin my heartstrings:



(artist not known by me)

JMP

[K&D]

no way mousey.....you love lindsey buckingham....i love lidsey buckingham....had a crush on him since i was young myself.

that and Abbie Hoffman and Warren Zevon...both out of reach due to death and age difference...well so is lidsey buckingham for that matter....i like older men generally speeking, and a beard doesn't hurt either.

[mtmynd]

After reading this thread I was transported back some years ago when I first saw the movie "9 1/2 Weeks." Kim Bassinger became my newest fantasy. I saw that movie many times, even bought a VHS copy of my very own. Gawd! ((pant pant))

Now time has passed and I find myself attracted to brunettes... preferably tall. Yeah, six footers or more... I love those long legged women.

Hell, at 60 I'm attracted to most women!! As long as they're happy and healthy, what more can I say..??

[gypsyjoker]

Bassinger's voice in this one was pretty hot. Reminded me of Z's cartoons.

Cool World

A cartoon vixen named Holli Would becomes involved with her creator, Jack Deebs. Live action and animation.

Directed by Ralph Bakshi

I saw 81/2 but Last Tango In Paris made more of an impression, maybe because I had the doors wide open when I saw it.

Now time has passed and I find myself attracted to brunettes... preferably tall. Yeah, six footers or more... I love those long legged women.

Yeah get me a Mary Steenburgen type anyday.

[K&D]

hard to find a 6 footer, i think in women, i mean i'm one of the taller people in my year and i'm only 5'6, i think Jen is one of the tallest in our class and she's 5'7.

i use to think that i liked taller men, recently i think there has been this weird shift, but thats only been in the past month or so, so who knows.

but my question is what is it about the unatainable...i mean what specific unatainable thing is one attracted to, probably for a lot of people its the famousness that there attracted to, historical rebel or a great guitar player you know those kind of things.

i find in general, and maybe the men on the board will disagree, that men in general are more attracted to appearance then by other qualites where as women are often attracted to other qualities, like frankly i think i like lidsey buckingham so much because of his music and the passion that he plays with more so then i think about his crazy ass hair or his physical features. abbie hoffman is the same way, as well as warren zevon, hell the younger warren zevon did not look like your typical attractive guy.

[mtmynd]

Interesting comments, K&D... 'tis true man is initially attracted by the physical, moreso than woman, who generally are attracted to man's ability to provide, i.e., brains, talent, temperment... those types of things. But all of us, man/woman obviously enjoy good looks, healthy, happy people... they make us feel pretty good, and not necessarily sexual... but those types pass those 'vibes' onto us and that is a good thing, is it not?