http://www.onlypolitics.org/images/valerie_plame.jpg
Thank You Valerie Plame, We Need More Sex Appeal in Government
for release 03-19-07
Washington DC
If I were Joe Wilson and had a wife that looked like Valerie Plame, I would want to keep her under the covers too. What a fox. She's the perfect Bond girl, lithe, blonde and savvy and, above all, secret. Can't you almost imagine her in a neglige in Budapest seducing information from some decadent government official? And that sexy little overbite just drives me crazy. I'm sure Hefner's people are in touch with her already about the possibility of a tasteful spread in Playboy. Her internet searches probably rival Paris Hilton's.
Espionage is so romantic. Secrets are such nasty and tantalizing things. I can just see the Walther PPK tucked under Valerie's garter belt, nestled against her thigh. Give me a moment to catch my breath.
Perhaps I am smitten with Valerie Plame because she reminds me of Ingrid Bergman or Lauren Bacall, businesslike but vulnerable, like a China-doll--cool and pristine but she will break if you drop her. After being cloaked in secrecy and silence for the duration of this investigation and the Scooter trial, Valerie emerged like some ephemeral spirit to testify before Congress last week, the outed spy, the woman scorned by her own government. It reminded me of a scene from Casablanca, C-Span should have shot it in black and white. It was also reminiscent of Anna Nicole's appearance before the Supreme Court. Girls gone wild. The blonde meets the bureaucrat.
OK, enough of this poetic patter. Yes, I've got the hots for VP but that's nothing new, the girl on the Aveeno commercial drives me nuts too. Don't mind me, I'm just Lightning Rod.
But Plame's testimony before Congress was refreshing. What this town and our government needs is a little more sex appeal. This administration has been marked by the most dour and prohibitionist and uptight people and behavior. George Bush has surrounded himself with cold and barren women (Rice, Miers, Hughes) and men with no humor or personality (Cheney, Rove). If Roberto Gonzales could do a hat dance and shout arrrrrrrriiibbba!!, then he would probably not be so unpopular. If Dick Cheney could crack a real smile instead of his usual evil grimace, I'm sure things would go easier for him too. There is some light, we have the twins.
Sure, power in itself is kinda sexy, And money. But even these things are rendered impotent when cloaked in multi-layers of piety and jingoism and hypocrisy. Yes, Washington needs a make-over. We need more sex and fun in government.
The American people can tolerate bad policy and corruption and theft and all manner of political skullduggery. They can forgive theft, adultery, buggery and whatever it was that Bill Clinton did with that cigar, but what they can't stand is a bad show. It's no wonder that this Republican administration is slipping at the box office.
I thought Geena Davis was a good choice for president. Strong, athletic, almost mannish, but still sexy. Most people think that Dick Cheney was the guy who put the Vice in vice-president, but could you imagine what Courtney Love or Heidi Fleiss could do with the office? And sure, Condi has had a good run as Secretary of Altered States but just imagine Julia Roberts (in her Erin Brockovich role) or Cameron Diaz or Halle Barry as our diplomatic face to the world. These are women that you couldn't possibly say no to and you would believe anything that they told you. Plus they can close a deal. Yes, this town needs more sex appeal.
The Poet's Eye usually has a gleam. I was amused for awhile by the comedy of errors aspect of the Bush regime. They were so easy to lampoon. But it's becoming like a tired sit-com. You know the punch-lines before they even finish the straight lines. The characters are predictable. And they are utterly sexless. We need more sex in government.
Lets get sexy
Lets get sexy
Sounds so good
Sounds so good
Fightin' is rightin'
Fightin' is rightin'
Lets get sexy
Its so much more exciting
---Black Eyed Peas
