the demise of madness

[Axanderdeath]

The demise of madness


What shit of shit, the worse music. Sad Madonna, sad world, people dead from belief in reality instead of the movie that is one’s life. Madness a 22 years old drunken Mexican revolutionary under the spell of Kerouac wears a boiler hat and a plaid shirt and a pair of jeans with a broken fly and has a shell through his ear.

We are at the bar with some Australian girls that were staying at the hostel. They got in and were looking for a place to go to buy food. I offered to show them and we went to the super market and bought some food and a bottle of wine and 4 bottles later we are here at the bar. And madness brings me aside and says

-machucho you have to calm down my man, you are scaring the girls.

I say

-what the fuck man.

And sulk with my lower lip forcefully all a fatness till one of the girls comes up and put her arm around me and say

-GAP are you sulking?

I shake my head solemnly and continue to write this in my notebook.

She grabs my pen and put it in her bra and says

-you won’t get this back until you are happy and enjoying yourself.

I ask her for a hug. She hugs me and I am happy. While she hugs me the pen is pushed up from the pressure of my chest against hers and it almost shoots into my chin and we laugh at the animation of it.

The is a red nosed flush Russian man yelling in the ear of the girl I am hugging’s friend as she trys to text a message to the girl I’m hugging’s boyfriend who is in Vancouver. The man wears a trench coat in the warm bar. He looks mad and old and as if he just crawled out from under a tank in Russia drunk at a demonstration all politically neglectful but ready to march and shout holding some vodka with young idealist poom. I shout at him something I will never remember and is only possible in presence of Madness.

XXX

The morning cuts me. The morning sun is punishing. The morning sun is a little boy poking and poking insanely. I go up stairs to where madness and sleeps in the hostel and ask him

-what happened last night?

and he says

-don’t worry.

and the ausi girl I was hugging says

-we were all to drunk last night.

I get the impression that I was the drunkest. Madness tells me

-let us go and have a smoke!

he pulls out some lose cigarettes from his pocket and hands one to me and we walk down stairs and he tells me

-we tried to put you to bed…

Madness is hung over and he looks at me as if about to cry and says in a wince

-you were just weird last night. But don’t worry the girls still love you…

I ask

-what did I do?

cause I do not remember and he says

-you were drunk man you came up the stairs and started banging on the door and screaming. It was weird.

We are out on the old port’s narrow street, now smoking, looking at the desolate looking hung over morning. I say

-Oliver.

Oliver is madness sober, I say

-you got to give two bucks for a beer so I can face the day.

which might seem like a strange thing to say, a mad sad drunk thing to say but Oliver and I both understand it and it is fine and he hands me a twoony and 25 cents.

XXX

I got to Montreal at 6 am and took a cab to the last metro station on the orange line. Coming from Vancouver with a sick hung over worn out feeling in my stomach. Driven by hope and dreams and Montreal memories. I sat by a fat couple who yelled at their kids, siting two rows up about what types of shit to watch on the back seat entertainment systems that the show that annoying air Canada safety video.

Weary walking down the steps of the metro with a shity coffee from a depanur in my hand. I take the metro to Place-Des-Arms metro and walk down to what was then a relatively un explored part of Montreal for me the old port. I got in to a hostel on Saint Vincent.

I was unfriendly to everyone in the hostel and looked at my emails on the hostel computer. Had one from a girl I tree planted with that I was quite infatuated with. she was asking when I would (be in Montreal) and I wrote her back (right now) and she wrote (well you want to hang out today or tomorrow) and I tried not to write back too fast (today) and we made plans to meet later that day. By The Way ( ) indicate computer VIA INTERNET conversations in this.

I was shaky from being up for about 45 hours straight. Drinking coffee and even though I was sure that I was quitting drinking I allowed my self just a couple of tall boys that I drank slumped against the brick wall that runs along the train tracks at the park at the old port.

I met Kat on the corner of Saint Catharine and Stanley. It was raining, the time had changed and I was an hour early and I wandered around in chapters for a bit and drank a Starbucks coffee.

Kat I knew from treeplanting this past spring. She was one of the only people that would talk to me. And it was great that she did. At least 3 guy, including myself, were mad for her, but this loud mouth red head vet planter was the one that got her. The other guy was a rookie and in broadcasting school chubby and clueless to the neediness of playing “bare naked ladies” in perfect chubby boy buzz cut fashion. The other guy was me, and when they hooked up me and the chubby guy walked back to the motel we were staying in and talk solemnly about how she had made the wrong choice. Then I walked back to the bar in which the red headed dude and her were obviously getting together, she had draped her self around him, got drunk and later that night tried to break in to the red heads motel room. The chubby guy quit the next day off and shortly after I quit as well, in my case it was not so much heartbreak as it hated planting in the snow.

So we met and went for coffee. I had been telling her about a fucked up unrequinted love thing over facebook for about a month while I was in Vancouver so with a sweet mischiviouse smile she asked

-so me and lenny broke up (red headed dude) about a week after you left. What happened with you and that girl out west?

I was too embarrassed to talk about it because it was and said

-I don’t really want to talk about it

and she said

-fine I would not want you to talk about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

And changing the subject I asked her about Dom a mutual friend we had at treeplanting who lived in Montreal I said

-what you and Dom been up to?

And she said

-we just walk around.

we proceeded to aimlessly walk around Montreal. We walked down st. cats and sat on some benches across from a glasses store and I asked her

-so what is this about you getting a broken hand?

She said

-oh yeah I was out in the field with John and said ‘hey Jon want to see me do a hand stand’ and I did it and my hand snapped.

I said

-ouch

she said

-oh and then when I got back and me jen and dave went down to the lack and I fell on a rock.

She pointed at a fresh scar on her lip and I said

-who are dave and jen

she is one of those people that tell story about people that you have never met and assumes that using there names will have any significance, or maybe she did not think they had any significance, maybe she did not think about it that much at all because it really does not matter, but you know what ever. Numbly she said

-friends. Any way I slit my lip open.

she pointed at her lip again said

-ouch you otto be more careful.

and she said

-and my dad said ‘don’t even bother going to the doctor I will fix it’ and he crazied glued the lip shut.

And I said

-what’s your dad? Like for a living?

And she said laughing

-not a Doctor

she was so cute that day and then I said

-got to go home I think I am tired.

and she said

-you want me to walk you home?

And I said

-I will walk you to the metro

and she said

-sure

I dropped her at Place-Des -Arms metro and walked towards Noter-damn thinking that I wold go down to the train tracks again and drink a beer. I did and thought about Kat and how great her life was going to be and how lucky she was to have a father that was not a doctor, yet still could fix semi-serious wounds.

XXX

I get up and my head hurts it is a Wensday and Madness and I were drinking last night. I go down the stairs of the hostel and Madness is chatting to some people staying at the hostel, a girl that looks like Annie Lenox and a Montreal writer that writes in French and has a book out called “dawson kid” that is about a girl that instead of killing all her class mates in cold blood goes into boxing. I walk up to the table they are sitting at and madness says

-my man I was just telling them that you said I was like Neal Cassady last night!

I am a bit embarrassed by this however I shyly nod my head and respond

-you know I just think your full of life and shit like him.

Madness smiles and says

-my man you want to go take a walk?

This means drink. I do. We walk up the street and madness says

-I want to go get one of those big beers you drink and we can drink it outside I just do not want to drink at the hostel.

I say

-I think they know what we are up to, but yeah I am fine with some park drinking.

Madness slaps my back in comrade ship of alcoholics. We go to the same couchtard we went a couple nights ago and I yelled at the guy that worked there that he was FAT and demanded SERVICE. We get a 40 of 10.5 blue. We walk down the street towards an old dilapidated building. I say

-lets go in there and smash shit up.

And madness says

-yes my man I like the way your mind works!

We find that it is impossible to go to the building but find that there is an oval shaped bar that over looks a tug boat that is siting on the rocks of a drained water way. There is an unopened beer sitting on the ground which Madness picks up and says

-this is a sign my man.

And I say

-really?

and madness says

-I think, I came here to meet you my man.

and I say nothing to this. I open the 40 and sit in the oval bar, we sit in the middle of it and look over at the ship. I am tempted to go in to the ship however that would not be the greatest idea. We sit and madness explains to me about how he was a kid in Mexico and that he was forced to go to church and I ask

-did you like church?

And he says

-no I hated it. I was forced to go.

And I say

-when did you decide that you did not like it?

he says

-7…

I say

-shit….

thinking back to when I was a kid and desperately wished I could go to church so I would be more normal, an aspiration I have long since gave up on. He says

-but I have a religion, the Aztec religion.

Madness goes on about his religion which I can not really explain because I am not sure I will do it Justus. He told me how when he was 11 and he went off with a shaman and took peotee and was part of an ancient ritual, I nodded my head and tried to take it all in. he told me that when he thought on peotie it was like someone was talking to him, which later while on one of are ‘walk around aimlessly and eat and drink coffee in mall food courts’ outings, kat explained this “talking” is a sign of schizophrenia. She had just failed her exam on art history which focused on Aztec and myan art—which is a coincidence I like. Back to madness and me siting in the out side bar drinking at 10 am. He says

-I got up at 8 and went and drank some wine at a café.

and I said

-hmm

and he said

-I was all shaky I think I got alcohol poisoning…

and I say

-I think the shakiness is more withdrawal symptoms man. Like your body gets use to alcohol and then you take it away and your body wants it more, because it thinks it needs it.

He asks

-how you know?

I say

-in Halifax I got really drunk one night and broke into a girl I was seeing’s apartment, I was staying there up until that night, I was really pissed, I went to jail a bit, and after I got out I went to rehab.

He says

-oh fuck I am here drinking with a guy that is trying to stop drinking!

I say

-don’t worry about it.

We walk up to saint cats and to a bar.

XXX

I sit in my swivel chair at work the lights seem to be flickering but I know that they aren’t and it’s cause I am hung over. I made the mistake of drinking about a pot of coffee this morning and I am almost too shaky to write up the order form. Michelle the Italian sales manger sits behind my and says

-Geoff whats a matter with you?

and I tell her

-it’s been a stressful weekend.

I had to ask her for a loan cause I was kicked out of the hostel. I am feeling shity cause I went to the new hostel and met madness and the went out and got hammered with him and sat up in my bunk avoiding the common area and madness. I am so shaky that at break which it at 1015 I go and buy a cold shot and down it. I have a smoke to cover the smell on my breath. I call a business and say

-hi this is tom coolguy calling from online business directories and I was wondering if you want to renew your listing?

I am hung up on. The Russian girl is standing up cause she just made a deal and is winking at me and I look at her and she looks good she is smiling at me and I have to look away cause other wise I would be transfixed in her gaze. The boss says

-come on lets get some sales!

and she goes back to her desk and dials a number waits for the persons to pick up and says in to the receiver

-hi this is Michelle my daughter and your son are friends (pause) yeah I heard you had a clothing store and I have these coats and dresses and everything and I can give you a good price (pause) yeah they had dinner at our house and he said ‘yeah give mom a call’ (pause) I have the best prices.

I try to ignore this conversation and call up another business. The day is agonizing and Michelle waits until 15 min. before I leave to give me the 80 bucks I asked to borrow. I wonder walking back to the hostel if she got her coat deal going.

XXX

We sit around on a Sunday in the common area. Madness and I have made a packed to stop drinking and there is a guy from the Netherlands at the hostel that wants to play poker. Josh is there and is taking the game extremely serious going

-I love play with amateurs, cause I play to win, if you do not win whats the point?

and I say

-I really do not care we’re not playing for money…

and the guy from the Netherlands smiles and Madness is laughing like the madman he is and I start laughing and Josh looks very confused and taps Madness on the shoulder and demands that Madness give him some making for a sandwich saying abruptly

-I want to make a sandwich…

it is painful to watch. The conversation with josh is mainly about how josh wants to make some money that josh is a winner and he wants to make some money. Josh also has talked Madness in to giving josh 80 bucks if josh can get him a job. Josh is saying things like

-it is a good office man. You have an auto dialer so you can just read a book. You are gonna go right?

We go out for smokes and that is all josh is saying

-money man, you got to get the money, be a winner! Get the money and be a winner. Your gonna go right? You’ll like this office lots of sluty looking girls there you’d even be able to pick up. Get the money.

We all try to talk about other things but all josh wants to talking about is wining and getting the money and the fact that Madness is going to show up for this job. The guy form the Netherlands is going and I and Madness are trying to say good by and josh is just talking about the money and how he’s gonna get it and that if you are not a winner then you’re a loser and you don’t want that and you want the money, yes you got to GET the MONEY.

XXX

I get in to the hostel on the weekend I am destined to be booted from this hostel with three beers in a bag and off for four days do to American thanksgiving. There are a couple of girls in the kitchen and they are drinking vodka and seem approachable enough. I sit down at the counter and open a beer and say

-hello how are you guys?

and they say

-fine…

and I ask

-where are you from?

and they say

-mas…

and I ask

-Boston?

And they say

-a couple hours away from there…

and I drink my beer and the guy drinking the 40 of Budweiser comes up and says

-hello.

and they ask him where he is from and he says

-north of England

and some one says

-Scotland?

And he says

-not that north…

and then he sits down and drinks and we watch the girls cook. One asks me

-what do you do?

and I say

-I telemarket…

silence then I say

-but I want to be writer!

and one says

-oh what kind of stuff do you write?

and I tell her

-like keroaceian style or bukowski people have said, but I do not know if I like that or not.

The English guy leans in with a grin

-now bukowski he was really an interesting writer.

And I say

-im reading notes of a dirty old man right now!

a geeky looking guy with glasses walks in who had a cameo on Corner Gas where he played a d&d fanatic and I thought was an idiot walks in. he says

-hello.

and the slightly chubbier of the two girls say

-what do you do where are you from?

And the geek says

-I study acting at UBC and I am from Vancouver.

and the skinnier one says

-what are you doing here?

And he says

-I came for the CFL game.

I was too drunk one night and called him a bunch of names so the rest of the time he was there he seemed really stand offish around me. He walked of to his talentless self and read some extremly boring looking poetry book.

The guy from the north of englind and I made fun of each other and then went to get some beer and came back and I was getting drunk and loud so I decided to see if they all wanted to go to the bar and they did and I took them all to fufuns electric and there I got loud and started fights, the girls wanted to go and me and the guy from north of England and I went and tried to get more beer and I got some coke. The guy from the north of England went to bed and I stayed up doing lines in the common area talking to a “writer” that stayed up all night “writing” in a moleskin note book and slept all day. I told him all about work and I think I scared him a bit. Just before I went to bed I wrote a message to kat that was kind of mean on face book and as soon as I sent it, right after I send an apologized twice. In it I confessed my love for her which was only semi-true. I also made fun of the chubby dude that played “bare naked ladies” around the camp fire un aware of the uncoolness of his bobbing chubby head. I ripped into him a good paragraph calling him Steve. Kat wrote back (why do you want me to hate you, his fucking name is Scott and I will hang out with who ever the fuck I want too!!!)… I thought it was funny that I disliked the guy so much that I did not even rip him using his proper name—but I knew I over stepped and the response I wanted from her was more along the lines of (I do kind of like you Geoff parsons) but that is not the case I guess.

XXX

There were some kids at the hostel that lied about their ages and came to Montreal to get wasted over the long weekend. I was drinking 40 and trying not to speak to anyone when I heard them mulling around asking where I was. The night before I was playing guitar and entertaining the lot of them and making lots of noise. One of the sisters—the chubbier ones finally said to me

-Geoff what are you up to? Are you sleeping?

and I told her

-no…

and she asked me

-is that couple still on the computer?

And I said

-the really snooty one?

And she said

-yeah…

and I said

-nah they are gone.

And I let her get excited a moment and then I said

-some one else is on there now.

I sat in the bunk and listened to some strange Spanish music coming from the basement that some one that worked there put on. I had that dead hung over feeling inside me. The feeling that nothing will ever be bright again and that you are alone and that you will die alone and that there is really nothing you can do about it—the feeling that the only cure for is to have a drink. I drink in silence until I hear the young ones chattering about getting booze so I come out and join them holding my big ass 40 of 10 % blue. I say

-whats up kids?

and one of them says

-I got a shesha today.

and I say

-sweet.

We go out to the courtyard and smoke some shesha. One of the kids is asking where I get the huge bottles of beer and I tell him I will show him. We walk down to a dep and he is telling me about how in Spain he got so drunk he woke up in the hospital and had alcohol poisoning and I tell him

-watch your self booze can kill yah.

Once I get back to the hostel with him I black out a bit and the last thing I remember is the chubby girl screaming at the top of her lungs at me. I ask her

-what the fuck is you problem?

And she says

-you called me a bitch and a whore a bitch and a whore and for no reason!

And I say

-well you are kinda acting like a bitch…

and then I go off to bed to wake up about 4 in the morning. I walk in to the kitchen and the Scots men and the skinnier girl are sitting in the corner and I ask them what the fuck was the chubbier ones problem and she says

-I don’t know it had nothing to do with me.

And there is one of the underage bastrads sitting there and he says

-you scared us all and I was on salvia for the first time and it scared me.

And I said

-sorry man. Ah do you think I am kicked out?

And the Scotsmen and the skinnier one look at me—they look frightened and the skinnier one says

-I did not call the cops.

And I think a second and say

-the cops were called? Why?

And the little underage bastard said

-cause you called that girl a cunt for no reason.

And I look down and think why would I call her a cunt. She worked for social services in massatucies and seemed to think that all the clients she had, women, were forced into the drug addicted life style by men—she did noble work but seemed to hate the people that she was helping. She seemed extremely judgmental, I decided I called her a cunt to get under her skin because it bothered me the way she thought. The way she was ready for some one to do something nuts at all times so I called her a cunt. My drunken mind works strange. The underage kid says

-after all that I still got respect for you.

I tell him

-thanks.

he says

-I got to go take a poop but after will you split a smoke with me.

I say

-sure.

and I go to my bunk to get my smokes and notice that the chubbier one and the balding guy from the north of England who told bad one liners non-stop were shacking up having a “deep serious conversation” in the same bunk and I laughed out loud.

I had the smoke with the kid and he let me know that most likely I was kicked out of the hostel. He said

-some cops came but you were already asleep and they told us to let you know to report to the front desk tomorrow morning.

And I said

-who called the cops?

And he said

-I don’t know?

and he said

-are you sorry?

and I said

-of course I am do you think I am some kind of sociopath ?

I doubt the kid knew what a sociopath was but he said

-naw man…

anyway I went to bed and tried to sleep. I felt bad about the message to kat and I felt bad about the calling anyone a cunt, and I was freaked out cause I had nowhere to go in the morning and it was getting cold out side. I waited till the scott and the skinnier girl went to bed then I went out to the kitchen where they were both “writing”. I stole a bottle of wine that I had been eyeing since I arrived at the hostel and sent a message to kat asking if she’d (drive me around and help me find a new place to live) which she’d decline saying (1st of all geoff I do not have a car and second of all I have to think of myself I have mid terms coming up and I am not letting anyone get in the way of my future and my life) when I gathered my stuff I went to the front office and had to argue to get back 80 dollars that I had given them to stay. A small Mexican girl gave me the address of the new hostel where I’d met madness that night and get drunk.

XXX

The wensday before all this dom and Kat and I met up at Mcgill metro. We stood there people walking by going places that they had to go and bums siting on the side with mounds of blankets and we stood there and dom asked me

-whats this about an eye growing out of kat shoulder?

and kat said

-you did not tell him!

and kat punched me and I said

-well the eye tells the future so it is not like you did not already know…

and dom said

-yeah geoff I was confused by that message at first I was a little worried for Kat when I first read GROWTH but then the rest of the message I realized that is was just a very weird joke of yours.

I looked down and I ask

-what are we doing?

But I knew we’d just walk aimlessly around. Dom is looking at a map of the underground and smiling and looks at me and kat asks

-you know in this under ground we can walk all the way down to bonoventure?

And kat says

-yeah me and geoff already have done it.

and dom said

-you mean that you and geoff have hung out with out me?

And I get the idea dom is being sarcastic and I think that maybe Kat and Dom have hung out way more and that I was being laughed at by them, but then I decided that is stupid and why would I even worry about something like that. We start walking and talking about old sienfeild episodes. Kat does a perfect Elaine dance and I try to get her to do it. It is also funny to me that she has a red pair of driving gloves on. I comment

-nice red gloves Kat.

and dom said

-hey, yeah kat nice red gloves!

and Kat says

-I got them at value village.

and I feel that the fact that she got them at value village makes it alright. I leave the gloves alone for the moment and me and dome ramble on to each other about stuff I have told him that I might be getting published soon that some publisher has emailed me back asking me to CLEAN my writing up and dom asks

-you mean taking all the cuss words out geoff?

and I say

-I hope to fuck not if you read my shit you’d fucking godamn fucking know that…

dom smiles and says

-well if you need some one to edit it (pause) (pause) I could do it in like, (pause) like (pause) two weeks.

I say

-thanks man but I think I can handle it but I’ll send it over.

I am feeling kind of guilty about a message I sent kat on face book about me being lonely and having no friends and I look at her and smile a guilty smile and we sit down in a food court and get a coffee and Kat some tea and dom says

-I got an expresso !

and I say

-do you usually drink expresso?

and dom takes a sip and says

-never and I got a double shot too!

we sit and drink our hot beverages in silence until dom goes in to an elaborate story about why his brothers girl friend does not want him at the concordia bar any more.
He explains at climax

-and I ask her to kick me in the groan because I had pulled my legs apart so the crotch of my jeans were taut and it would not hurt I hope. Then I go in to concordia university and pass out on the toilet. Geoff do you have any embarrassing stories like that?

And I say

-too many…

dom tells us he has a store he wants to show us on saint cathrines. We walk down the slushy crowed street until we come to a store with the terminator robot in the front window we go in and look at tall the over priced collectibles like reservoir dogs and Patrick batemen action figures, lots of lord of the rings shit… we walk around in there and look at shit for around a half hour, we make fun of it when we leave we go down to a pizza joint by fufuns electric. We sit and chat and I sprawl out across form dom and kat and dom makes passes at Kat, and then talks about how he get mistaken for a gay man a lot and I say

-yeah Kat accused me of being gay last week I was siting and she said ‘take off the red pumps geoff’ and I started crying. (pause) it was a strange moment.

And kat says

- it was…

and dom says

-I bet!

and then I say

-kat I hope you are not getting those red gloves all full of pizza crumbs, my my, you would not want to do that not you new red gloves!

And dom starts to ask and kat asks

-why are you guys laughing so much at my gloves.

And the next time I see Kat which was a couple weeks later I asked where her red gloves were and she said

- I lost them some where.

and I say

-dom probably stole them.

and she says

-I saw him eyeing them.

XXX

Madness and I walk up from the dilapidated building and find a pub and sit down and I order a cheese burger and a putiine and we get a pitcher. The bartender wears a gold tie. She sits at a table after taking our orders and does a cross-word. Madness asks her

-hey does the putine have and animal by-products in it? because I am a vegetarian.

She says

-so am I, and no I am eating a putine right now.

And I say

-I love meat and it is just too bad that they cut down the rain forest to make room for cattle to graze. Madness get yourself a cheese burger and taste the wonderful blood!

And madness says

-you have to understand that we are a couple of mad writers like Neal cassady and jack kerouac.

and I say

-I am a writer I do not know about the jack kerouac shit—madness here is some what like cassady. Do you know what we are talking about?

I look over at her. She comes over and leans over the counter she is wearing a dress shirt and I can’t help but check out her nice breast bulging out of the shirt. She says

-I read kerouac when I was 14 or something.

And I thought that was a funny thing to say. She says

-it did not strike me then and also I hate Hemingway.

I say

-come on Hemingway?

I look over at madness who is looking down shaking his head and madness asks

-why?

And she says

-he’s such a chauvinistic moncho man.

And I say

-he’s honest. He says what people wish they could say..

and madness says

-yeah like bukowski, who is a chauvinistic pig, but he is honest.

And I say

-to each their own.

She looks at me with a hateful fake smile, just below the surface is the evil words that her job forbids. I don’t think Madness get this impression first off because he keeps on chatting to her and she gives rude aloof answers and pours us about 5 or 6 pitchers and warns us aroun4 o’clock

-you guys are going to have to move soon because the regulars are going to come in soon.

And I look at the spot in front of me and see that there are signs that read reserved in front of our seats. About a half an hour and 2 pitchers later a man in his 40’s walks in and we leave the bar.

XXX

Madness and I have decided to get coke. We walk down the saint Catharine and I am telling madness that

-I know these streets I use to live on them out side all summer. I met the girl I had the longest relationship of my life with. I met her squeging on the corner.

And madness says

-you’re a madman lets us go get some coke!

Madness points towards nothing and we walk hurriedly and I scan the crowds for a homeless coke addict names Toby that can score us coke at any time. I spot him in his hoody and socks pulled over his pant bottoms and he broken crooked glasses. I yell.

-Toby!!!

And he notices me and comes across the street oblivious to cars holding a sing that says “spare change for beer” which is funny because I do not think he really drinks that much—I think all he does is bang coke when ever he has enough. I say

-we need some coke Toby.

and then introduce madness. The trio is mad and we walk to the metro and by some tall Heinekens and put them under our coats and go into the metro to catch a train to monk station. on the train we yell and madness talks to everyone about how wonderful everyone is. There are some girls who smile at us. I look at a 40ish man that has a bewildered look on his face and say

-only in Montreal, this is Montreal right?

And he says

-yes.

we tumble out of the metro and walk up the stairs and Toby goes to find his connection and madness and I race to an alley way to relieve ourselves.

XXX

Waiting for Toby we sat in a bench Toby before he left Toby warned

-there are lots of crazy people around here because there is a mental hospital near by that just shut down…

and then Toby made a strange sound and started down the street. So me and madness were sitting there and this small looking man, a dwarf perhaps came up to use and asked if we had a smoke, and I gave him one and the man took it and pulled down his pants and started to put the filter of the smoke in his ass and then turned around and shoved his dwarf ass in our faces and asked us for a light. We stood up and waited around the corner for Toby, the dwarf eventually pulled up his pants and waddled away.

Toby came back and says

-man it was crazy the guy was all fucking stabbed up and some one had came to kill him. He was so afraid he was not going to let me!

He handed madness a baggy of coke and madness paid him 40 bucks and I say

-you sure you don’t want us to come back and protect him?

And madness says

-I know muytie!

and Toby says

-no it is okay.

Down in the metro madness and I do some lines and then get on the metro. On the metro I start banging on the seats and singing the misfits. Madness joins it. We sign

-I got something to say! I killed your baby today! And it doesn’t matter much to me as long as it’s dead!

At Lionel groix the cops are spotted by me and we get off the train and they called us over. They take us in to a room and run our ids and I am am think ,do I have any warrant in Montreal?, and I really am not sure. And I hope madness has done something with the coke and I hope they let us go so we can enjoy our selves more and they finally they let us go and when I found out I am free I ask the female cop

-I heard you guys were on strike and you wear those uniforms now cause it is in protest is that true and how does it make you feel?

The cop looked me blankly on the face and said nothing I say

-okay.

smiley and we walk on. Madness had eaten the bag of coke and was feeling heart palpitations so we went to a dep and got a couple cold shots and the went to cock and bull.

XXX
I walk in late to work again and Michelle is shaking here head at me. I say

-what you fireing me?

And she says

-yes.

But she is on the phone selling stolen clothing. I sit down in my swivel chair and yell

-fuck that! I want my pay check right now and 25 percent of all my commissions! Fucking try to fire me a week form Christmas!

Michelle is trying to sell some coats and tells the person on the other end that she’s gonna have to call them back. She says

-we are down sizing.

And a say

-fuck that, I want my fucking money NOW!

And across the cubical from me Lorenz a good rep says

-calm down geoff it is gonna be okay.

I say

-it’s a week till Christmas what the fuck I am sposta fucking do?!

Michelle says

-people are working..

Michelle stands up and motions for me to come it her husbands office and I do and sit down with him and say

-I want my check now and I want 25 percent of my commissions!

Toga smiles and says

-that’s not gonna happen.

And I smile and say

-I think it will. Your fucking me here! This is fucking bull shit! It is a week till Christmas!

And toga is shaking his head and says

-why you late all the time? You think that is fair?

And I say

-when I come early I have to wait for you guys anyway, and everyone else in the office does not show up days at a time.

This was true. Toga knew and maybe he respected the fact that I was making it difficult for him to do a horrible thing like fire some one a week before Christmas which is also the day I was born, roll over Jesus, cause toga says

-can you not be late anymore?

And I say

-sure, does this mean I have my job back?

And toga says

-yes, just don’t be late ever. And I will give you a piece of advice. Geoff, in life, always have a back up. Not just for jobs, for everything, for banks, for women, for cars, for alarm clocks.

I smile and say

-that’s good advice.

XXX

I stand in the alley after newyears the 2nd and it’s around midnight. I am thinking about what I want to do, thinking about making a resolution. I swill the 40 in my hand, and my mind races through things I want to do. It comes into my mind to make stencils and spray piant the city with bad Geoff Art. Madness got in to some trouble—I facedbooked him abouut sneaking across the boarder that we could get some horses and it’d be greaat for writing, to see all of america to drink beer on the beach in mexico and be an outlaw. I think about Halifax and that I’d go down there soon and spray piant the whole city. I think that I would ask my brother and sister to helpp and I would make some statement about advertisement—you must advertise yourself. I think about the book that the publishers are looking at of mine, and I hope it goes, and I hope it happens quick, and I think I am 27 now and something better happen soon and fast and it better be good, and I think that I should be famouse by now—so many people died at 27 and have done so much more then I have. I think of kat and dom and how wicked smart they both are. I think I have been wasting time a bit too long. I want SOMETHING to HAPPEN, but I know it wont be what I think it will be—a girl would be good. A smart one that believes in me and I believe in her, one whos crazy enough to be with a wild fuck like myself. I walk up to sherbrooke and look in to the museme that is showing WARHOL LIVE and swill my 40 looking through the glass door, and I wish I had a camera so I could photo gragh it—in the ally I say a peaice of paper that said SALVATION ARMY on it in a snow bank next to garbage—that would of made a good picture too. It is late right now and the dorm is full and I should stop writng now.

XXX

I sit in the internet café breathing heavy and shaking a bit. The cold shot helped a bit but it still all to fresh and mad for me to handle. I sat there and shaking send emails out over face book (cause I got in to this shit, I am not drunk. It all started when this guy offered maddness a job for 80 bucks)—shawn the guy who’s “alll about the money” and “has to get the money”. He’s got this spiky jean michele basquait hair that he alwas covers up with a ball cap. He is sitting there and we are talking at the hostel about 5 hours before I got frantically to the internet café. He statrs off

-you know where madness is?

And I reply

-no

and shawn says

-well maybe he’s out celeabrating that’s a sweet job I got him there.

And I said

-is it?

And he smiles and sips on a beer and says with a grin

-the fucker of better have taken that fucking job cause I will smash him in the face with a brick.

And I say

-I do not think that would be nessary.

He looks at my with this smile that scares me because it said to me “what the fuck do you mean, using a break to settle shit is the only way some times, the ONLY way.” So I nod with my head down and say

-well I am sure he took it…

and hhe says perhaps senseing my intense disbelief in his methods of intimidation and scam artistery

-I did a lot of fucking running around for madeness. Ha ha I mean man I did a lot of running around.

I smile at him. I have lived in montreal, getting a telemarkting job is as easy as taking a piss, when you are in perfect health of course, the only difference is you can be in any health to get a telemarketing job, hell, your balder could be blocked for months for all those shyster bastards care.

I do not like to talk to josh. We are looking at pamphlets for other international hostel located in international locations and I say

-there are a lot of hostels in montreal.

He says

-how many you think?

and I say

-10, 15?

He smiles as though he knows something I do not and says

-no there is like 20.

Then he says in a hushed voice

-my serbian friend told me about this site where you can find every hostel in montreal.

And I say

-hostelworld.com?

And he looks at me and says in a secertive fucking erie way motioning me to come closer so I can hhear him better

-it is soo much better. Give me a couple bucks and I will show you.

And I say

-how fucking stupid do you think I am?

I make some exuse to get away from him. He bothers me. He is an ass. And then an hour or to later, when I came back or going out to the store I see madness and yell

-madness

I quickly realize that madness is talking to josh. Josh is stnding in front of hime all perked up like a mad dog and saying something of the nature of

-and where is my 80 bucks?

And olver was saying

-you know nothing about life, all you care about is money. And if it was such a great job why did you not take it?

I decided to go up stairs. I went back sortly. And madness was in mutie shit and josh was throwing some punches and lightly playing with madness, a slap on the cheek ect ect. Madness most likely would of lost the fight—madness was drunk and josh was a huge guy most likely out of jail after a sizable sentence (nothing proved nothing di-proved). Madness boldly teeped josh in the upper chest brushing his chin. Josh stands back and says

-oh no you done and fucking done it. Now your dead!

They glared at each other with hate and madness points at me and says

-geof you stay here, do not interfear unless on of us is on the gorund and getting hurt.

I say

-you both should acted like civilized people for christ sake. Madness come on man you are smarter then this…

josh was now trying to flank me which freaked mwe out a bit. I grab madnesses arm and say

-look man go up strais and get some rest and deal witht this later when you both calm down.

I start walking madness up the stairs and josh follows calling madness “a drity mexican.”

Madness then jumps away from me and drop kicks josh in the face. I grab maddness and keep draging him up the stairs—madness runs cause josh calls the cops, madness ran here illegally, he hands me his bag and tells me to hold it for him. The cops show up after he goes and ask me a bunch of question which I try not to answer well. I am sure I look bewildered walking aroun—pacing and then I leave and come to the internet café.

This is what I send to about everyone I know in montreal. An aproximation of this same tale and no one get back untill I call charls who says come on over. I sit down with him and his girl friend who continuosley are rolling hash joints and watching a documentry on monsantoes. Some huge chemical company or genitic modifeirs that controll the way people work there crops—and make the poor farmers children come out like churnobel. I sleep on a bed that their cats ussally sleep in, the next monring I go to work with a hair ball.

XXX