What Is Sex?

[Lightning Rod]

What is Sex?
for release 10-20-05
Washington D.C.

Last month the Centers for Disease Control released a study which indicates that more than fifty percent of teenagers (15-19)have had oral sex. And according to a study published in 1999 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, sixty percent said oral-genital contact did not constitute having sex.

Oh, I suppose you could chalk it up to Bill Clinton, this almost Talmudic splitting of hairs. What constitutes 'having sex?'

If a man sticks his cock into any of the various orifices of a woman, or if he or she masturbates (which I prefer to call making love to myself), I define that as having sex.

Oh sure, even pubic hairs can be split and we can argue about what is sex and what is not, but even with Bill Clinton's parsing of the situation, my definition of sex is if there is touching and somebody has an orgasm (or at least tries to).

Does sex with a cigar count? How about a hand job? Is that sex? Of course it is.

But in the post-Lewinsky world there are all sorts of ways to maintain our technical virginity. We can say, "We didn't have sex, I only sucked his cock and I didn't even swallow." or, "I wore a condom, so there was no actual contact." or, "I didn't really enjoy it." or "It was just his finger on my G-spot, we never actually did it."

I love sex. Sex is a good thing. I lost my virginity to myself when I was about ten. And when I was fourteen, the adventurous girl up the street became my accomplice. Sex is the physical expression of the creative urge. All sucking and fucking and licking of clits and application of warm oils and vibrating devices and sending of erotic pictures on the internet are glorious and wonderful things. But let's get real about what 'having sex' is.

You can have sex on the telephone or with a magazine. You can have sex in a strip club with your hand under your overcoat. You can have sex in your sleep wrapped around a wet dream. It's all 'having sex.' Conception is not required. Not even contact.

Witness: The magician David Copperfield has announced that he will impregnate a woman on stage without even touching her.

We are sexual creatures. Why should we be ashamed of it? One of the terrific things about the human female is that of all the mammals, (with the possible exception of the Bonobo chimps) she is the only one who is sexually receptive even when not in estrous. This means that we humans can fuck for pure pleasure.

But we are hopelessly indoctrinated and forced to throw a blanket of guilt over our sexuality, whatever flavor it might be. It makes us do absurd things like claiming technical virginity when we have experienced sex with ourselves or with others. Even our ex-president claimed that he ''didn't have intercourse with that woman,' when she went down on him and he put his stogie in her snatch.

The Poet's Eye sees that nothing is as overrated as virginity.

Some people still believe that Mary was a virgin. I wonder if she didn't at least suck God's cock?

"Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matt. 5:28 KJV)

[Doreen Peri]

In your email announcement directing your list to this column, you stated,

Dear Friends,

Here is the latest issue of The Poet's Eye

rated PG-13

Hate to tell ya but this column isn't rated PG-13. It's rated R. I don't mind columns which are rated R. The only thing is, 13 year olds can legally join this site without PG (Parental Guidance). I just wanted to remind you of that.

Oh, and what you're talking about has nothing to do with the "post-Lewinsky" era.

I was born in the 50's and grew up in the 60's. It was the same back then. The definition of being a virgin is that a person has not yet experienced coitis. Back then, we called it "going all the way."

Everything you described in vivid detail is sex, yes, but unless a person has experienced sexual intercourse (coitis), the person is still defined as a "virgin," by definition, no matter how many of these other activities that person has participated in.

[Dave The Dov]

Funny you mention a "cigar" in your article. Because Freud once said that the cigar is just a cigar. Say what about "abstinence" that wonder of a mistake that the Religious Right likes to think it's a miracle for their kind????
_________________
BMW M535i

[K&D]

well under your definition then, doesn't that give men a bit of a disadvantage? i mean it seems kind of unfair that way.

you know what i hated, under the typical definition of sex, well then lesbians and gays could be considered virgins there whole life and that doesn't seem fair either.

[hester_prynne]

"But we are hopelessly indoctrinated and forced to throw a blanket of guilt over our sexuality, whatever flavor it might be. It makes us do absurd things like claiming technical virginity when we have experienced sex with ourselves or with others. Even our ex-president claimed that he ''didn't have intercourse with that woman,' when she went down on him and he put his stogie in her snatch.

The Poet's Eye sees that nothing is as overrated as virginity."

I agree with the poet's eye and say hear hear and amen too. The only thing I might not agree with is the blanket of guilt. I think it's more just a blanket.

Great Article LRod, as per usual.
H

[mtmynd]

We are all slaves to the sexual urge, responding to our biologies to reproduce... each and every one of us has got to 'get off' one way or another, all in pursuit of that one moment of orgasmic pleasure that tho relieved must be repeated and repeated... seemingly never finished with the high, we invent ever new ways to regain that spark of lust that levels the playing field - sex doesn't discriminate but swallows our logic and reason and spits it out with a shiver of delight and begs the question - who is in charge when our bodies speak for us?