Gun Control
        03-03-04
        I hate 
          guns. I wish I could throw them all in the sea.
          
          They are tools of disaster. Guns have one purpose, that is to cause 
          physical harm.
          
          That being said, I think each of us should have one.
          
          Guns are stupid objects. That's why the argument that 'guns don't cause 
          violence, people cause violence' is valid.
          
          Yesterday the top contenders for the Democratic Presidential nomination 
          returned to Washington to cast their votes on a gun control bill. They 
          wanted to close the gun show loophole. The bill was killed by the Republicans 
          who were unhappy that the amendments had passed.
          
          Shenanegans like this go along with the usual posturing that surrounds 
          this issue. Sure, guns are abhorant devices but they exist and no amount 
          of legislation is going to prevent them from existing. That brings us 
          to the question of who is going to be allowed to have them. Free, white 
          and twenty-one? If you agree with my politics? If you are a Christian? 
          If you have no felony convictions? History of mental breakdowns?
          
          I have spent a great deal of my life in the underground, the world of 
          crime, and I know how preposterous it is to assume that laws are going 
          to prevent criminals or anybody else from owning firearms. If you are 
          a criminal they are tools of the trade and if you are not a criminal 
          you would be wise to possess one.
          
          The purpose of the Second Amendment is to insure that there is a 'well 
          armed malitia.' This is not intended to provide for vigilantes, but 
          to make sure that the people can protect themselves from whom?--the 
          government, that's who.
          
          Even though I hate guns and wish they didn't exist in anybody's hands, 
          they do exist. So it's best to own one so that we can excercise the 
          principle of MAD (mutually assured destruction.) I think this would 
          provide for a new degree of politeness in our culture, if everyone you 
          met had a gun slung on his hip. Etiquette would have a deadly new meaning.
          
          The Poet's Eye sees us all armed to the teeth in mutual respect like 
          gunslingers in the Old West sharing a shot of rye. You must have a three 
          day waiting period before you can be a black belt in kung fu, and a 
          mental background check before you become officially lethal.
          
          A weapon of mass destruction could be defined as a box cutter.