Cup
Runneth Over
04-05-04
The tiresome
subject of performance enchancing drugs in sports has reared it's ugly
head once more. Even the President is piling on as if he had any moral
weight in this area, mentioning it in his State of the Union speech.
George Will interviewed Bud Selig, Baseball Commissioner, about steroid
abuse among players on This Week on Sunday.
To attempt so called intelligent discussion about this subject strikes
me as, to say the least, hypocritical. George Will doesn't have to take
a pee test in order to be a television commentator and a columnist who
reaches millions of people and George Bush doesn't have to piss in a
jar before he makes his State of the Union speech.
I also found it amusing that while Will was interviewing Selig about
the terrible moral damage that was being done to 'the game' by performance
enhancing drugs, the commercial break was an advertisement for Cialis,
a performance enhancing drug that boasts of side-effects such as "four
hour erections."
You haven't heard too much about the War On Drugs lately because it
has been supplanted by the War On Terror, another chimera. And while
you are watching the blow by blow in this fictional, video game war
on the nightly news, they are feeding you ad after ad about this or
that drug in a purple or blue pill that you have to ask your doctor
about. We live in a world that is saturated with drugs.
We have drugs to keep you from sneezing, drugs to eat the bad colesterol
and leave the good colesterol, drugs to insure that you get the best
out of life, drugs to help you forget your depression and your creative
sex-drive. There are drugs if you've eaten too much and drugs to help
you eliminate what you've eaten. There are drugs to keep you awake,
to make you sleep and drugs to help you remember to take your drugs.
And there are drugs that help you make a living if you are a pro athlete.
Periodically we get on a moral high horse about performance enhancing
drugs in sports. This is like being morally outraged about violent movies
and video games when we are bombing Afghans and Iraqis into the ground.
I say we make people in critical jobs like Senator or Congressman or
National Security Advisor take drug tests. Daily.
I'm a poet and a musicician, and it's no secret that I've taken my share
of drugs. I've taken performance enhancing drugs like cocaine and morphine
and a dozen others with underground brand-names like Ecstasy and Sunshine
and Clear Light. I don't know if my performances were enhanced, but
I had a great time.
Like George Bush, I can't claim to be a teetotaler on this subject.
We are fishes swimming in the same sea. We both have powder around our
nostrils. The only difference is that GW cuts his hair off and mine
is nearly two feet long. They could tell with a strand of my hair what
drugs I took in 1985. I'm thinking of shaving my head.
Drug tests are an invasion of privacy and a violation of Fifth Amendment
rights. It is proper that the baseball players or any athlete or any
citizen for that matter should refuse to submit to them. It's illegal
search. My idea for a battle flag to replace the cut-up snake saying
Don't Tread On Me-- a plastic cup with the red hazard sign over it--caption:
Don't Piss On Me.
The Poet's Eye sees that we have a government on steroids. This is demonstrated
by Bush strutting in a flight suit on an aircraft carrier declaring
victory in a war that has barely begun or celebrating the fact that
we had a third of a million new jobs last month while neglecting to
mention that the qualification for those jobs is being able to say "Welcome
to McDonalds." Let's make the President piss in a jar, I think
he's on something.
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