The Poet's Eye 
          commentary by Lightning Rod

the Poets' Eye is skeptical
without being cynical, innocent
without being naive and
critical without being
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Queensbury Rules

For release on 08-23-04

This presidential election is shaping up to be the hottest fight since The Rumble in the Jungle in 1974, the classic bout between Ali and Foreman that was promoted by Don King in Zaire. But the World Wrestling Federation might be a better overseer of it than the Federal Election Commission.

The Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act of 2002, also known as "McCain-Feingold" left a loophole in the campaign finance rules that is big enough to drive a tour bus through, or at the very least a Swift boat.

Sen. Kerry has filed a complaint with the FEC protesting the collusion between the Bush campaign and the group called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. At the same time the Bush campaign moans about getting slammed by 527 groups like MoveOn.org and ACT. All of this is fake outrage of course, like the grunting and grimacing in pro wrestling.

"527 groups" are called such because section 527 of the Internal Revenue Code governs organizations that primarily attempt to influence election campaigns, organizations like MoveOn and ACT and the Swifties. The money spent by these groups doesn't count against the campaign spending caps imposed on the candidates themselves and also they can act as the pit-bulls of the respective campaigns and deliver the down and dirty messages that the candidates themselves can disavow if they go too far beyond the bounds of decorum.

Everyone knows that you can't run a modern presidential campaign on the measly little 72 million bucks that the taxpayers provide for the major candidates, so the need arose for shadow or parallel organizations to take up the slack. These organizations spend millions in soft money to do the same thing that the major party organizations do--they buy advertising designed to get their candidate elected or, as is more commonly the case, to get the other candidate defeated.

In the past week, the comparison has often been drawn between the Swift Boat Gang, who are working for Bush, and the MoveOn gang that are working for Kerry. There are two things wrong with this comparison. One is that the MoveOn gang is a grassroots organization supported by a wide popular base estimated at over two million, while the Swift gang is funded by a couple of George Bush's rich buddies in Texas. The other is that MoveOn was founded in 1998 and the Swift Boaters were only instituted since the presidential campaign began.

Debra Deshong of the Kerry campaign says that, "MoveOn.org is an independent organization that existed well before the Kerry campaign," whereas Swift Boat Veterans for Truth "is not an independent group."

Which gets us to the question of collusion between the main parties and their shadow surrogates. This is what the Campaign Reform Act forbids. You can raise or spend all the money you want to advertise your message if you are a private group. What you can't do is coordinate your activities with the party campaign organizations. It's long been a police tactic to let an informant do the dirty work and then claim that you don't know him when you get to court. It always reminds me of tag-team professional wrestling. You know, the scenario where one team-member distracts the referee while the other whacks the opponent on the head with the bell ringer. It's a broad metaphor for what our election system has become, a circus in a cesspool.

The front page article in the NY Times of 08-20-04 by KATE ZERNIKE and JIM RUTENBERG0
goes into chapter and verse about the connections between the Swift Boaters and Bushco.


Harlan Crow and Bob J. Perry, through longtime social and business contacts, are associated with the Bush family. (Dare I call it the Royal Family?) Crow and Perry are the primary supporters of the Swift Boat gang. Mr. Perry has given them $200,000 with which they have bought television ads and published a half a million books full of questionable facts. Mr. Crow, the seventh-largest donor to Republicans in the state according to the Texans for Public Justice, is a Dallas real estate magnate who is the second largest donor to the Swift gang.

It could also be said that George Soros's support of the anti-Bush campaign through contributions to organizations like ACT amounts to the same thing as Perry and Crow's support of the anti-Kerry efforts. Politics comes down to who has the most money and the best friends, or the most friends and the best money. Or it could be who has the worst friends with the most money.

For my money, the answer to this whole mess is Don King.

The Poet's Eye has a vision for the future of our elections. We need to forget all these campaign finance regulations and the FEC and special tax loopholes and just make an Election Czar to run our presidential races. I suggest we get somebody with some practical experience in these areas. Someone like Don King. Yes, King would be perfect. We could call him Czar King. He's promoted some of the biggest fights in modern boxing history. He is a ruthless promoter who focuses on the “showmanship” of the fight and never signs an agreement that won’t make money for him and everyone else involved. He could sign a contract with both candidates which would insure his impartiality because he knows he's going to get rich no matter who wins.

The Queensbury Rules
by Marquis of Queensbury

1. To be a fair stand-up boxing match in a twenty-four foot ring or as near that size as practicable.
2. No wrestling or hugging allowed.
3. The rounds to be of three minutes duration and one minute time between rounds.
4. If either man fall through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted, ten seconds be allowed to do so, the other man meanwhile to return to his corner; and when the fallen man is on his legs the round is to be resumed and continued until the three minutes have expired. If one man fails to come to the scratch in the ten seconds allowed, it shall be in the power of the referee to give his awart in favour of the other man.
5. A man hanging on the ropes in a helpless state, with his toes off the ground, shall be considered down.
6. No seconds or any other person to be allowed in the ring during the rounds.
7. Should the contest be stopped by any unavoidable interference, the referee (is) to name the time and place as soon as possible for finishing the contest, to that the match can be won and lost, unless the backers of the men agree to draw the stakes.
8. The gloves to be fair-sized boxing gloves of the best quality and new.
9. Should a glove burst, or come off, it must be replaced to the referee's satisfaction.
10. A man on one knee is considered down, and if struck is entitled to the stakes.
11. No shoes or boots with springs allowed.
12. The contest in all other respects to be governed by the revised rules of the London Prize Rin

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