Lost It.

[izeveryboyin]

So you guys all know I haven't been a very frequent poster on here lately. The truth is I feel like I've lost my knack for writing. Everything I attempt to write I abandon. It all sounds wrong. None of it comes out right. I feel like I've lost my identity as a poet. I started hosting these open mics with my husband in March and I thought it would help stimulate me to write more... or at least better. I only got worst. Now I don't even perform at the open mics anymore. I just show up to help my husband run them. I feel so lost. Poetry and writing was such a huge part of who I was. Without it I feel so lost. I have nothing to channel my emotions through now. Nothing. I've just lost it. It's devastating. Like losing a loved one. You know you have to go on without them, but it just seems so hard.

[Doreen Peri]

i can identify with every word you said here, Kayla ... somehow, for me, it's just not as exciting and eye-opening any more.. used to be writing was my therapy and helped me uncover truths and the enjoyment of using the language amazed me! .. it's like having broken up with a lover or something... i miss it ... i feel lost without it.... it'll come back. It has to... it's part of us.

good to see you here.

[still.trucking]

Good to see you Izzy. I wish I had some words of wisodm for you. I am my number one fan, I have such a knack for writing, I enjoy reading myself. Sometimes I can hardly contain myself I am so clever. And then everything I write is shit, boring, nothing no one would want to read except me. I ride the ego trip, it goes up and it goes down, and all around.

Wow you got a husband. That lucky son of a gun, I hope he realizes how fortunate he is.
inFriendship
jt

[mtmynd]

writer's block.

[stilltrucking]

I was hestitant to reply with anything on your thread izzy. Because the differences between us are so great, and I really can not relate to what you are says as well as Doreen. For me it is almost opposite, the times when I can not write are almost a relief. By not write I mean I have no desire to get on studio eight and open a text box. It is as if I am at peace, nothing to say. Mostly I feel the compulsion to write when I am smoking rope. One of the reasons why I enjoy not smoking.

I found again a reverance for life, and somehow when I write I feel as if I am affirming life, even as I grow closer to the end of it.

Sometimes I feel compassion for the young, they have so far to go yet. But some times they get old too fast maybe, maybe that is a good thing, because the old young ones have the very best poetry in them.

so it seems to this old compulsive scribbler
keep on keeping on
I think j said something about writers block that made a lot of sense to me, something about a time when the creative juices are recharging themselves. Writer's block used to scare the hell out of me when I thought of writers like Hunter Thompson, Spalding Gray, Virginia Woolf. Now I don't mind it at all hardly

I hope there was something useful for you in this ramble

inFriendship
jt

[mtmynd]

I think j said something about writers block that made a lot of sense to me, something about a time when the creative juices are recharging themselves.

Mine have been recharging forever, or so it seems.

I posted a Stream today...o boy...
about the duality we deal with everyday...

[Diana Moon Glampers]

I enjoyed your stream Cecil, it was helpful, Life and Death duality in a nutshell for me. Life or Death. What peculiar beings we are. Most peculiar of all are the writers and poets I think.

Izzy

I found this one today while I was searching through the archives of studio eight for dear old Diana Moon Glamper posts.

by izeveryboyin » Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:39 pm

Prayer

Do you remember back in the seventies, no of course you don't, sorry.

Back in the seventies all the church goers were driving around with bumper stickers that said "I found it!" After a while you started seeing bumper stickers that said, "I lost it!"

I got to thinking about husbands today.
Poor old Ted Hughes. But his daughter loved him.

Hope you are well old friend.

I been reexamining my reasons to live, is that a vain thing to do? I sure do love to write, but when I don't write that is okay too. It is almost a relief sometimes when I don't feel the need to write. Must be because I am not a serious write. At this age I don't have much literary ambition anymore. Maybe I am just a whimp. I would hate to feel that pressure of having to write to make a living. Although my mother said if you can find one thing you enjoy doing that you can earn a livlihood from that is a blessing.

pardon the typos check it later. got to go now
take care old friend dont be a stranger
sincerly
stilltrucking et al

[the mingo]

I thought i was going to say something here but I been here awhile and ... nothing. I've been puzzling on it and my conclusion is that I am here to turn out the light and go to bed. 'Nite all.

[stilltrucking]

Don't mind me izzy, I am just a crazy old fucking fool, I see the world through the bell jar of my own fears. You know what used to scare me back in the fifties? Being well adjusted, I did not want to give up my neuroses, as if I would have nothing to write about, but I never thought much about writing back in the fifties yet, I just liked to read back then. This writing compulsion never struck me till I was in my thirties and had tripped out on cid.

Sometime I have to remind myself to breathe.

I like your avatar, such a kind face, makes me feel better even if I do not agree with him all the time. My avatar on the other hand maintains a very nice level of seething rage for what he and his party loyalists did to this country. Speaking of party loyalists I watched a clip of the funeral of the Dear Leader in North Korea, a grief stricken woman in a fur coat all the mourners so grief stricken well dressed and well feed looking. The commentary says only the party loyalists were allowed to line the street.

just say high jack
sorry