Take your Stupid Mouthy Kids To Work Day

[izeveryboyin]

So yesterday was Take Your Kids to Work Day. I remember hwen I was younger, I used to love going to the office with my mom and sitting at her desk pretending I was all professional and marvelous, etc. The 14-year-old business woman, etc. Once I got older, and I started hearing about more of these creepy holidays. Seetest Day. Secretary Day. Stick a poker up your ass Day, ect. These people who create all those cutesy wootsy holiday are deeply inconsiderate os "Singleton" hacks and people whose immediate family consists of Ben, Jerry, and the dog. Why can't we be taken into account? My friends and I got so infuriated over this lack of consideration that we spent the better part of three cups of coffee coming up with the following "Singleton"-centered holidays, for all of those semi-degenrate, commitment-phobi, chain-smoking, non-reproductive, relationship weary folks, or even just the normal people who live by themselves and are heinously overlooked. Following, laides and gentlemen, are "The Singleton Holidays":

-Have Your Cigarette Indoors Day
-Family Restaurant without the Family Day
-Dirty Laundry Pride Day
-Hot Dogs In Individual Packaging appreciation Day
-Evict Your Drunken Roomate Day
-Have Sex With Your Roomate When You're Drunk Day
-Get Reayd For A First Date In 20 Minutes Day
-Cold Cereal Appreciation Day
-I can Fart Without A Spouse Objecting Day
-Sleep In till Three Day
-Vodka Before Twelve Day
-My Microwave Is My Stove Day
-Save your Suicidal Neighbor the Trouble and Shoot the Bastard Day
-Get That Marriage Ceritficate Away From Me Day
-Cooks In Three Minutes Day
-Bar Mitzvah For the Dog Day
-I Can Have Sex On the Kitchen Floor Day
-I Can Finally Have Sex On The Bed Because I've Cleaned All the Junk Off It Day


Okay, okay, so maybe the coffe was a little spiked with vodka... but hey... let's see YOU do better. Come on, I DARE YA!


--k

[Glorious Amok]

how about....

old movies and laundry day
potato chips for dinner day
ice cream for dinner day
dark rum and pineapple juice for dinner day
exercize with empty wine bottles as weights day
i can masturbate on the kitchen floor day
"all batteries, all day" day

[izeveryboyin]

honey.. those were glorious!!!

--k

p.s i couldn't find you myspace. i did a search and everything. in the words of the famous Booost Mobile commercials "Where you at?"

[Trevor]

LOL...great post ladies...I think we should elect you to be in charge of coming up with new holidays.

[izeveryboyin]

thanks! although i'd undoubtedly need lots of vodka-laden coffee.

--k