Talk Sexy to Me

[Lightning Rod]

I always looked at it as a shortcoming of mine that I was not bi-sexual. I love both men and women, but I've never been able to make the sexual thing happen with men. Maybe I'm a lesbian.

In my youth I experimented, but (and I don't want to sound like a Republican here) I found that there is something about the union between a man and a woman that is magic. I couldn't get enough of it. But even though I could understand the attraction between men, it was always a brotherly thing with me. I could never make the jump into the sexual realm even though I feel love for men. It always left me, shall we say, limp.

Tell me your feelings about the love you have for the same or opposite sex and how you express it.

[WIREMAN]

......I'm not gonna beat around the bush here....I love beautiful talented women....this time I went right to the top with C.J......yeah I've been married 3 times in my 51 + years havin' a short blissful adventure in my youth and a steady lifetime - family thang with the exquisite Lucy B. for almost 20 years.....my mission in life is to worship the goddess and make like a chesterfield and "Satisfy!"........wired

[hester_prynne]

I've felt the same way LRod, like it was a shortcoming of mine not to be bisexual....but I'm just not sexually attracted to other women. I've tried and it didn't work. Which is funny because I really like women, it seems that women have always understood and loved me more than men do.

I'm a hopeless romantic. You see, I dream about having strong, self assured male energy to complement my own strong, self assured female energy. Perhaps that's an impossible dream, but i'd rather dream than be in a relationship that wasn't like that. It's too high a price for me to settle for anything else, I'm too damn sensitive.
Believe me, heh, i've uh, tried low-self esteem driven relationships which so many seem to be settling for these days, and failed miserably at them. I dont' put up with shit meekly from anyone, and so therefore, am a "bitch". I'm not a martyr either, silently "doing it all" for fear of separation or fear of being myself. Nope. I ask questions, I don't keep secrets, I expect help and concern, I'm a sharer, a confidant, and i'm always curious. I'm a searcher not a settler or a numb-out. I'm a better person alone by myself rather than alone with someone i'm supposedly with. That's just me. And am I ever glad I know this stuff about myself now.
Heh
The best part is, that until that one right type man comes, in fact, even if that right man never comes at this point which is probably more the reality, I'm happy and content with myself. I've learned the hard way to stay true to what I want in love, and life, and that settling for anything else just too much agony. It's hell not to be free to be who I am.
Life is a beautiful romance in itself, and all the people in my life are part of that romance. And that, is the most glorious thing of all!
Good question LRod.
Can't wait for more responses.
H

[Glorious Amok]

ahem... o, where shall i begin?

i feel i can comment on this topic with some authority. i have a long, long, long, long, long history of bisexuality. and let me tell you, it has some... ahem... short-comings... ahem, all of it's own.

my parents are aware of some of these experiences, but none of them are open for conversation, and we all try to pretend that none of it exists. none of my 'outings' have come with much decorum.

it started when i was very, very young and as many of my first sexual explorations were with girls as they were with boys. these explorations came... ahem... and went over the years, always lacking definition. i never, ever understood it.

they were with both boys and girls in primary school, elementary school, high school, and long after. not every exploration was sexual, some were purely hypothetical, but every experience was intense.

i believe it was Sam Kinnison who said, 'what do bisexuals do, wake up in the morning and flip a coin? oh, it's boys today, alright...'

i have always been attracted to talent, to intellect, to those who believe in and strive for personal excellence, and to those who know a lot, especially about bizarre, obscure little corners of weird subjects. i like smart people. but i keep forgetting to write down their genders.

i had an affair with a woman that lasted, on and off, for something close to 8 years. the sexual things all work just fine, you're gonna have to trust me on that. but it doesn't stop at sex. where there's sex, there is sometimes love, too.

i always thought that bisexuals had the potential to fall to either side of the line. until one of my lovers, Deborah, explained to me that she'd never thought of it that way, but always understood her own bisexuality as "needing both". well, holy fuck, doors just slammed open inside my head, like in one of those long Bugs Bunny corridors, all at once.

"needing both".

not one or the other, but both. it explained so much. i became the threesome lady. i became the woman every couple turned to when their own sex lives got stagnant. and that was great for a while. i loved being able to walk away, independent, leaving them still having to deal with each other while i walked on alone.

...sigh... those were the days.

and then, i met the Kreddible Trout. i knew i would marry him before i even knew his real name. it's true. and i did. after i knew his real name, of course, and after several scraps and breakups. but i married the right man, and i wouldn't undo it for the world. he's my partner, my spouse, my co-conspiritor, my best friend. good or bad, come what may.

but before the 1st year was out, it happened. he was working with someone, and i just turned into this awkward, 14 year old boy in her presence. i tripped, i stuttered, i said ridiculous things. i tried to give her a hug but i broke her mexican shell necklace. it was obvious to her, to him, and to everyone close to us what was going on. marriage had not made my bisexuality go away.

"needing both".

he and i talked about it. she and i talked about it. he and she talked about it. nobody knew what to do. she came to stay in the house with us. i couldn't take my eyes off her. i couldn't stay away from her. one night, we walked home holding hands. i went out every single time she invited me, even if i had school or work in the morning. we drank, we partied, we danced together. we were falling... in... going for walks alone, more hand holding, sharing, getting to know one another, talking of religion, love, art... families...

he didn't want me to go. he didn't want to be left behind. i couldn't leave him, and i never will. she wouldn't come to the two of us. i wanted a family, the three of us. one night, we were watching a movie, and i held his hand on one side and hers on the other. my family was forming. i loved it. it was a family of my own understanding, definition, and artistic creation. it was like a suit that perfectly fit me. a three-armed suit.

then after the movie, he kissed me goodnight and went to bed. always wanting to be at his side, i kissed her goodnight, ready to follow him. i kissed her goodnight. oh. i kissed her. uh-oh, i was kissing her, kissing her, kissing her good...night.... oh... uh-oh.

i stopped. i went to bed. he had heard us kiss. i had stepped over a line. i am, afterall, married.

many intense conversations ensued. nothing, has of yet, been either resolved or consummated. i'm back in that sexual-love limbo again, knowing i want to be with my husband always, and knowing that ideally, 'having both' should be able to work, but likely never will.

but it doesn't matter who i'm attracted to, i agreed to love him and foresake all others... ALL others. and i still want that. but i want him to want me for ALL that i am, for all WHO and WHAT i am, and i want to be fully me. if one relationship in your life should allow for that, nurture that even, it should be your marriage, shouldn't it?

and, i mean... we're artists. we're striving every day to shatter the expected, to surprise, to break moulds, to redefine. we're supporting each other to take risks, in order to become all of our potential, no???

anyway, i have no end to this story. there is no end, because it's my life and i'm still alive. and the story wasn't nearly so dirty or sexually deviant as you expected it to be, was it? it's just my life, my own dirty laundry.

[judih]

it's a conundrum, alright. We're artists, we're supposed to, etc.
But we're people raised in a society with rules and those deep underlying forces of jealousy and fear of loss don't go away just cause a person plays music, writes poetry or stands on a stage some of the time.

what to do, when all the philosophies stop at the gut.
not to wound our beloved. not to betray ourselves.
what to do is a constant question

yet it certainly makes it all interesting

thanks, glorious amok, for sharing your experiences

judih

[stilltrucking]

The earliest sexual research I remember was sitting on the steps of my grandmother's house comparing the size of my penis with another kid. My upbringing 19th century Jewish ghetto morality. My grandmother caught us at it. I had no idea I was doing anything wrong. There have been some interesting books about the sexual theories of children.
I suppose sexuality or gender has a lot to do with the accident of one's birth. My feeling about sex is that consenting adults have the right to fuck each other's brains out. Be they truck drivers or artists