career question:

[firsty]

who would you rather be:

a human resources manager

a payroll employee

a corporate benefits coordinator

or

a fucking douchebag?

seems to me, it's pretty much a toss up. personally, i'd rather be a douchebag, because at least then i couldnt also be an asshole, whereas most i hr, payroll and benefits employees are both douchebags and assholes. i cant think of another group of professionals, outside of politicians, who can be considered as commonly low on the totem pole of human endeavors as these people. if you are one of these people, i apologize profusely that your parents were bad enough to allow you to go into a field such as this. sucks to be you.

[Doreen Peri]

LOL!!!



Well, I really love the Human Resources Manager who works for our company. She's terrific! She's smart, sensitive to people's needs, and does a great job hiring some of the brightest and most talented employees I've ever met who I am honored to call my coworkers.

I could never do her job. I'm not cut out for it. I could also never work with payroll. Numbers spin my head around. I respect the people who work in the payroll department, however, especially because my paycheck comes in like clockwork on the 15th and 30th, every month and they diligently make sure my contributions to my 401K plan are being made properly.

A Corporate Benefits Coordinator has a tough job, too. I am happy to report that the person who handles this job in the organization I am associated with has done an excellent job securing one of the best insurance plans around! I recently had oral surgery and she saved me $4000 by putting a new dental plan in place.

I don't personally know any douche bags but I am reminded of this story.

A big burly biker type dude goes into a fancy nightclub for a drink. He pulls up a stool at the bar and leans over and yells to the bartender. "Hey YOU! See that douche bag at the end of the bar over there? Get her a drink on me, would ya?"

The bartender's jaw drops... All the patrons stare and look up aghast! Why did they allow such a lowlife into this place, anyway,? their faces seem to say. The bartender attempts to handle the situation with finesse. He walks calmy up to the man at the bar and whispers to him. "Please, sir! We don't like yelling around here! Calm down. If you continue to make a scene, I will have to ask you to leave. Now, would you like me to get the lovely lady at the other end of the bar a drink on your tab?"

The man yells, "Yeah! Like I said... Get that douche bag a drink on me! Pronto brotha!"

The bartender again whispers and asserts that the management will not tolerate yelling. "If you calm down and quit yelling, I will go over and ask the lovely young lady what she would like to drink," he says.

The man repeats, yelling, "Do it NOW! Get that douche bag a drink on me!" and the bartender, attempting to make peace in the club, goes over to the other side of the bar and leans over to the lovely young lady and says to her... "The man at the other end of the bar would like to buy you a drink. I apologize for his rude and loud behaviour but I think if I allow him to buy you a drink, he might calm down and quit making a scene. What can I get you?"

The lady answers, "I'll have a vinegar and water, please."

[Zlatko Waterman]

( paste)


" . . .i cant think of another group of professionals, outside of politicians, who can be considered as commonly low on the totem pole of human endeavors as these people."

Try working as a lobbyist for some of Trent Lott's close buddies:

http://dir.salon.com/story/travel/log/2 ... sid=771029


Connect me to that bag, firsty!


--Z

[singlemalt]

hey man. . . who shat in your cheerios this morning?

[Artguy]

I wanna be the guy who names paint colours....