my new opinion

[Bryan]

WOMEN SUCK!

ok I'm kidding this time around my new opinion is people suck and people lie for thier own selfish reasons that generally even they dont know.

I'm generally an honest person at times perhaps to honest (thus why I am hated at AC so lies just seem so meaningless to me and I just dont get it.

I also have this uncanny ability to know when I'm being lied to perhaps not knowing would make this easier on me because I almost always know when I'm being lied to and then I make a point to find out (i'm usually right)

so with that in mind my next topic or question rather will be when are you to honest?

can someone be to honest?

where is the line between truthful and hurtful?

i.e. someone asks you if you think they are attractive (clearly they are not)

me I'd always answer honestly and as delicately as possible is that to much?

just my thoughts on what you think

[Doreen Peri]

You mean "too" honest.

(lotsa people get their tos, toos and twos mixed up... Think of it this way. If it's TOO honest, it has an extra o because it's TOO much. And also, if it's TOO, it's "also", like in "I love you, TOO", so the extra o is for "also" as in addition to.)

OK, enough for the spelling lesson. *smile* Please take no offense regarding my correction. It's just a thing of mine I need to do because when it says "to" and someone means "too," it makes it harder to read and get the meaning.

But my answer to your query is... No. You can never be too honest.

Except when a fat person asks you, "Do I look fat today? Can you tell I've lost some weight?," it's probably not a good idea to tell him or her the truth.

Or when your boss asks you, "How far along are you on the project which is due next Friday?" (a project which was assigned 2 weeks previously and you haven't even started it yet) - it's probably wiser to tell a little white fib when you know you are capable of getting the project completed on time, by saying, "It's coming along. It will be finished in time. I'm sure you'll be happy with the results." Why? Because the project IS indeed coming along if you've been assigned it, so it's not *really* a lie, it's just a stretch of the truth.

Or, if your new girlfriend points out another girl at the club and asks you, "Do you find her attractive?," it might be a wise idea to say, "No, babe, not at all! I find YOU attractive," which again isn't really a lie, it's just a stretch of the truth because you DO find your girlfriend attractive, so it's just the words "No" and "not at all" which are somewhat of a little white fib, because in truth, it's not really important whether you find the other girl attractive or not, because you're not at the moment interested in her, you're interested in the girl you are with.

These are the only examples I can think of at the moment where lying a little is not only acceptable, but socially desirable.

Other than situations like these, a person can't be TOO honest.

(congrats on dating again.... it's about time! Hey, and if this last one didn't work out, just remember, there are many more out there and it's really true that it's a good thing that women suck sometimes. )

[Bryan]

lol@ doreen's last comment

ya well see even if your instances I am still honest because i'd expect people to be honest with me but then I suppose i'm wierd

[shamatha1]

Actuall, people who are quote-unquote 'Totally honest' are one of my pet peeves. My problem with people who believe in total honesty is that in my own experience, they tend to be assholes, and they use 'honesty' as an excuse for asshole-ish behavior. You know, the people who don't believe in 'sugarcoating' the truth. They're just too 'honest.' Uh, yeah.

You can be honest with people without being an asshole. But these 'honest' abe's don't believe in that.

I'm not saying that honest people are all assholes, or that anybody should lie to anybody else. Just that red flags go up whever I hear someone proclaiming how 'honest' they are, and that you'll never hear anything but the 'truth' from them, even if it hurts. They can't help themselves.

I'm just met too many 'honest' people who are emotional abusers, and use 'honesty' to keep people in their place.

[abcrystcats]

Funny you should mention that ... After a lifetime of honesty I'm beginning to finally realize that it is emphatically NOT the best policy in most circumstances.

Consider the simple question: "How are you today?" Most people don't really want to know. They want you to say: "Great, thanks!" and give them a big smile. Now extend that example to most of life. Do your parents, close friends, acquaintances, business associates and whoever REALLY want to know that you're depressed, go home and drink every night and are so in debt that you have no clue how you'll get out of it? I don't know anybody who really wants to know truths like this, and if they did know them, they'd probably run in the other direction.

Too true that your employer doesn't want to know that you haven't even started on that project that's due in two days.

Your girlfriend doesn't want to know that you had a great time in bed with her the other night because you were having an intense fantasy about Sandra Bullock.

Companies and others who set up surveys usually do NOT want to know the objective truth about whatever it is they're surveying. They have a preplanned objective, and they either consciously or unconsciously set up the survey questions to facilitate that objective.

In the classroom, your best bet is to keep your head down and not ask too many questions. Nobody in the class (certainly not the teacher!) wants to know that the subject in discussion fascinates you and you want to know more. Besides, asking questions just reveals your exact position in the hierarchy to everyone there. Why advertise that you're getting an A in the class? Wouldn't you rather have a few friends, or at least no enemies?

Truth? Hah. My ultimate objective right now is to avoid lying. Forget "truth," just keep me away from deliberately falsifying specific information -- as much as possible. I have come to hate truth and everything it represents.