How Often Do You Drink?

[e_dog]

why bother to read the paper
nothing changes
the rich get richer
the poor get poorer
the drinker gets drunker
and the thinker gets thunker

[izeveryboyin]

Is that so, my friend? Diet colas have never gotten me "ripped", in fact I rather despise diet colas. If you were completly joking though, and have never touched a diet cola in your life, then allow me to laugh my ass off: mwhahahahahahahaha.... ahahahahahaha... hahaha.


--k

[Trevor]

I used to love my booze....still love it but have pulled the reigns back quite a bit. Could black out with the best of 'em when I was younger. Once woke up in a travel agency...with the gentle prod of a billy stick by a man dressed in blue...had no recollection of why I was there at seven am, where my shoes had gone, why I had blood all over my shirt, why my knuckles where cut or even why my nose was bent...I just figured all these mysterious circumstances had something to do with saving the universe and protecting mankind and so did the cops because they just let me go with a ticket for entry where prohibited. Other notable drunken moments...many of which had to be retold to me upon sobriety .... helping to flip a car resulting in being suddenly surrounded by four police cruisers....who knew people got spooked by that???

breaking into a stranger's house to sleep in their hallway...resulting in extended free lodging for a day

waking up in a ditch and finding out I ran into the woods because I thought people were after me

Passing out face down in a vagina while attempting to perform....

Pissing my pants on a few different occasions, twice in the company of women, thank christ it was their beds...lol..jk...but one of which was the woman whose vagina I used as a pillow....but honestly, is there a more glorious place to sleep than the opening from which we entered the world??

Hitting on friend's wives on two seperate occasions...I mean really, what isn't a more attractive offer than disolving a marriage for a night of blissful passion with a slobbering red eyed drunk who is too hammered to make his dick look more appealing than a soggy wet noodle? And what says "I'm your trusted friend!" more than trying to take care of a buddy's wife??

Passing out in an all night grocery store after being driven 50 kms by the police, (who incidently informed me sticking my hands through the cracks of the dividing window to tap them on the shoulder to question where they were taking me would be answered with repeated love taps across my hands with billy clubs).... and dropped off in a strange desolate town because i decided to bully a guy and re-arrange his house because I disagreed with him hitting his girlfriend.

And of course all the other fun stuff that goes with hard living such as getting beat up, or doing the beating up, losing friends, making friends, having guns and knives pulled on you, spending too much money while making too little, court dates, shitting on your friend's front lawn and blaming it on their dog because you're locked out...ya know, the usual stuff.....but all in the name of glorious alcohol ...drinking to forget why we just drank to forget the problems we created while drinking to forget. Now don't get me wrong, I hope I'm not sounding preachy like I've battle alcohol abuse so let me tell you how bad it is .... I've got nothing against alcohol or even drugs, they have their place, like most else, but I don't think they are a good substitute for life. Imbibing should be a celebration, not a pre-cursor to a funeral.


So anyone else with some unusual tales resulting from the over indulgence of booze or drugs?

[hester_prynne]

I quit drinking in August of 88. (Gee! I haven't had a drop of alcohol in almost 17 years!)
I used to drink like a fish. Sometimes I miss it, but I don't drink well, one is never enough, one always leads me to however many more I can drink before I pass out. Then I'm in trouble. I came to once, on a plane enroute to Las Vegas with some bloke I didnt' even know. I hate to fly. My Brother had to come and get me. It was terrible, terrible.
Booze is pure poison for me.

For 12 years, after that incident and a family intervention, I was totally sober, nary a mind altering thing.

When I lost my left kidney a few years ago due to a rare cancerous tumor, I was told that cannibus would serve me best for anxiety, (I was taking prozac at the time), and most pain, being as medications for that sort of thing would strain the kidney I have left. So I toke sometimes...when I'm lucky enough to have any, which is rare. It's expensive, and I get really scared getting it off the street, so usually if I have any it's because a kind friend gives it to me. Funny, how the doctor suggested it, but was not willing to prescribe me a card for cannibus use, said it was too risky for him and his practice....told me to "be careful".

Ain't life grand?
heh
h

[izeveryboyin]

fascinating stories trev. and hest, you too, but17 years?!! Christ, what the hell did you do? Hide under your couch? Liquor is everywhere!!! LOL! I got comepletly wasted last night, and it was funny and aggravating at the same time. My friend Oscar got a little TOO drunk and couldn't really walk, so there we were, two drunk chicks trying to help another HEINOUSLY DRUNK guy down the street, so finally just sat him down on the sidewalk, and we were trying to get his brother's number from him, and he couldn't remember it. He called out some long, nonsensical number, in manner of posh European. So then we tried to ask him his brother's name, and he was too drunk to remember that. He kept saying "We call him four times, four times!" After that, he was quiet, and then we tried to get him a taxi and no one would take the stupid fucking drunk guy home. Then we ask his fathers name, and he just keep going, "411, 411". Once he got really pissed, shot up, and screamed it at us. "411!!!!" It was hilarious, but aggravating. And as we were walking he kept trying to cop a feel. Anyway, yeah, liquor fucks with you. I probably shouldn't drink so much. I didn't get home til 3 in the morning, and I had to be at school the next morning at 9. I ended up missing my entire 1st class. But there's nothing like a coupla shots of Jack late at night, while you're smoking a good cigarette, and filling notebooks with verbal dysphoria.

--k

[e_dog]

drinking fun for the young
no fun for the old
better to eat crackers
and cheese
save wine
for salad dressing when vinegarturned

[izeveryboyin]

cheese and crackers are just fine, but with an expensive bottle of wine. You'll let the saliva intertwine with alcohol; I did with mine. But just be warned, cause ye might find some pictures of your old behind all reddened with a leather bind.

--k

[mousey1]

Funnily enough....or not funnily enough.....my stoopidest moves all occurred when sober..... I shoulda got drunk at least then I'd've had an excuse!!!!

Oh....except for that one time....



Yes, now my speed is wine and cheese...
cheese and whine...
and quackers!

[rubythedyke]

Ruby likes her beer (Bud goddammit! none of yr european piss brew) after a hard day at the transmission shop. On weekends me and the missus sometimes get dolled up and go to some upscale westside dive ( with all the yummy UCLA coeds flitting about) and maybe have a few chi chi drinks (midori sours mmmmmm) but Im content with some working class beer and maybe a nightcap of everclear and a few whiffs of some decent peruvian to top it off before some late night frolicings....da usual

[izeveryboyin]

ugh. beer. The only decent beer in existence is Negra Modelo, and maybe Corona w/lime... maybe. Hate beer. Why wuss on on piss-smeeling beer when you can drunk like a real American on Jack Daniels! Woooooo!!! YYYEEEAAAHHH!! So Ruby, who's the bigger lush, you or the missus, hmm? I wish I could add that as a poll to this one. UCLA coeds? Iwas going to be one, until I just sat down and said to myself, "hmmm, why the fuck would I wanna be a UCLA coed?" LOL! I'm just-a joshin ya! Oh, as for u, Mousey, Do you do lines of crackers, or do you smoke them? heh.

--k