Wading into the Tide.

[Doreen Peri]

Judy... I can't even imagine all you've been through. I am so very sorry! I CARE! Sending you much love. ♥ ♥ ♥

[BambiPurrs]

Thank you sweetheart.
The car accident, the subsequent health stuff, financial lack...all of that I handled. Not even not getting any physical/house help while recovering, by any state or county agency at all, dampened my mom role.
Having a corrupt agency take my boys from me, fight me 2 1/2 years, and ultimately, lose my twins to adoption against my will AND not even by honest, legal, and/or the truth, is what truly crushed my heart. Accusing my oldest son of horrible things, ultimately caused him to live with an 'only child' friend of his, and his parents.
Yea...as if my PTSD was not bad enough from my past abuse from mom, husband, {now deceased after our divorce} a rape and subsequent abortion, the auto accident that damaged my foot permanently, etc. huh?
Losing my precious boys is so hard to overcome. I know they are ok, and grateful the adoptive dad {no mom, which is cool, no one replacing me...he is homosexual which I have no problem with, ever} loves them and they have a better financial situation for sure, but the mom stuff...watching the learning to read, to write, growing up, changing...holidays, hugs, kisses, laughing together as they grow, teaching them, creating memories for them...none of which I can do now. Sure, I will see them when they are old enough to do as they wish...but you can never get that missed stuff back..ever. It is fleeting and it gone..or going as I type.
Besides that, I ended up homeless from the damage they did to my family, and lost not only all but 1% of my belongings, but had to give up my 4 older cats aged 12, 12, 11, 17..and been with me all their lives. I feel like I let them down them....let my sons down....and was hung out to dry.
My sons and my cats ... losing them has totally devastated me. Losing 50 years of memories, irreplacable items from parents now gone {my dad a dozen years ago, my mom just 3 months before the adoption decision by courts. My attorney knows they removal of my parental rights was unjustitifed. Damn corrupt judges, and courts, and child services and the traitorous counselor who betrayed both my boys and myself. The lying....
Thank you for the love...I need it. Here in Jersey the last year with my sister's family in the basement...gotta get outta here. No friends...no transport..not near bus lines...it's really hard to keep wanting to go on with any excitement sometimes. Sometimes think I would have rather stayed in Tucson on the streets for the 9 months before I turned 50 and got the SSI.

[Arcadia]

how sad, Bambi ... I hope you can have your kids back: it´s crazy and cruel that the state didn´t help you monetary or socially to keep yourself living with your sons .... Big hug !

[BambiPurrs]

No getting them back once they are adopted.
They have been adopted for almost a year coming up.
Against my will, and without legal proof of wrongdoing other than what a therapist claims my sons said {when they were 6 yrs old mind you} and how she interepreted it.
It is a done deal..one that has destroyed my heart and faith in Arizona judges. It happened in my divorce...and now with my children.