Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Next week I leave for Olympia...in search of gainful employment there while housesitting for a very dear Friend who has assured me I can rent a room until I find something....

I'm scared in some ways, and a bit embarrassed about my lack of a home, and poverty, at this age. Then I tell myself it beats being forclosed on....

But underneath that I'm feeling very driven, almost excited, like i'm lifting off from a neccessary stop on my venture out of Astoria early last year. Why I had to stop here I don't know. I think the reason will become clearer in the distance.

I'm ready to do any job really, as long it affords me a living for Stella and I. I envision a 2 bedroom apartment in downtown Olympia, public transport to work, a weekend singing gig, a savings account.

I'm debt free now, (did that while here), and at a middle-aged beginning, ready I think at this point, to land for the duration, create the sum of me, if it's not too late.

I've been packing and planning and working my last few shifts at the Co-op, (they told me that if I come back here I'll be rehired no question.)
But I don't think I'm coming back.

Have been enjoying the many many good writings of you all here in the wee hours, just not much to say, cept, hello.

H

To head out, your own choice, your own destiny!
well, hester, you are a bold and charming heroine.
knapsack freedom. No debt. A fond welcome back if you'd ever choose to come back.
your bridges are paved with good vibes.

i see only glorious glowing present moment lustre in your future.
and hugs for the road as it paves itself beneath your humble, magnificent feet.

Debt free. That's more than most (American) people can say.
Good luck!

"glorious glowing present moment lustre"....
I love that Judih, it lilts, and twinkles in perfect summation for me. Thank you.
And Bohonato, thank you for the wish of luck very very much...

H

Hesty, this sounds (to me) like a good move. I think you are converging on a solution in tune with your spirit, "catching up to the orbits", or something like that. Maybe you could stop by here on your way from north to slightly less north. Yeah, stop by. Oh, but be advised: I am moving too, across town, this weekend hopefully, weather permitting. Yeah... maybe send an e-mail; I'd like to see you again, get caught up. I still remember those little kids dancing while you sang on that live radio broadcast. That was quite a moment...

debt free is wealth. you're doing better than many.

happy trails.

wish i was totally out of debt and could take off with a knapsack on my back and move to a new place and start all over

you got it goin on, girl!

great that you'll be with stella, too!

all the best!

Good luck on that path of life!!!!
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Epilepsy Forum

You go theda
you go girl
I be one step behind you
soon as I get a motorcycle big enough to travel on.
Or until I lose fifty pounds so this one can carry me and my camping gear.
I envision traveling back to Virginia one spring or summer
carry camping equipment with me
take a bus man's holiday
travel leisurely
take a week to travell what I used do in a day in a half.

I hope you will still have access to the net

How you doing?
it would sure be good to hear from you
My hero
I nailed my shoes to the kitchen floor
but
I would like to follow you out my door one day
motor cycle dreams of east coast wandering
follow the coast
travell the valleys
visit the grave yards in old baltimore.

Hey gang!
Well, I'm in Seattle now for a few days, staying with my dear younger sister here in Ballard.

I was pretty wiped out when I got here. It was tiresome, working to the very end and moving out too. My car is so full of stuff I feel like a hillbilly! No offense to hillbillies, I like it that way. "come n listen to my story...."

This Saturday or Sunday i'll split for Olympia, and get to work creating myself on Monday. A much needed break and some rest before the next rally. Sigh.

You know, I don't like to drive the freeways anymore. I think i'm a danger to others on the road. I mean, i don't get it. There is so much freaking crap going on on the roads....cars everywhere, darting in and out, coming right up next to me too close for comfort. I get confused and disoriented and extremely nervous. I swear I almost fainted coming thru Everett it was so intense. The only time I felt relatively calm was when I got behind a big truck and just followed it, mimicking it's every move to stick with it. But then he exited and I was a wreck (heh) again.

Soooo, dumb as it may sound, i'm going to find a back road to Olympia, because getting there is even harryier than where I came from. So many folks just get on the freeways like it was nothing but for some reason I can't hack it....it's just too frightening, rolling around precariously on wheels at high speeds, it just unnerves me. I mean, when I arrived at my sister's I just broke down sobbing I was so freaked out!

I don't understand myself. I wasn't ever too concerned about it before. I feel like a wimp but fuck it. If it takes an hour longer I don't care. I don't think it's healthy to get that upset.
I dunno. Shrug.

Anyway, the creative writing room is HOT. It's the Best! Everyone, your writing is stellar to read, makes this moving around shit so much easier to bear, and that is no lie.
Love,
H

hester dear, i hear ya totally about driving around with maniacs on all sides.

i was a normal average total driver back in the old country (toronto), and then i came to israel, where stick shift is the rule, and cause i didn't think about driving till it was too late, i had to start a series of 48 hours of mandatory driving lessons.

mamma mia. Even the driving teacher was a nut case - "go ahead, go from this left lane over 4 lanes to the right in one fell swoop - yes, go ahead". this was not for me. Neither were 2 lane roads with cars parked on both sides and 2-way traffic acting as if that one central space was large enough. no no no.

i said no to learning shift in these conditions and my little frenetic heart said no to driving the more i watched behaviour on the road.

Going back to the U.S., i thought something must have happened to the glorious, courteous drivers i once knew. Everyone was nuts + the ubiquitous cell phone in one hand.

i dig it.
no, stay safe!

Well, here I am in, in Dupont Wa, with my good friend, who will be leaving tommorrow for her trip to Brazil, and I will stay behind to look after her place and her two adorable beautiful cats and many lovely plants.
I've been here a week now, drove the backroads here and it was simply grand, despite rain and gray weather. Ive applied already for about 5 jobs in Olympia, one at the local co-op they have here, (2 actually), a much more authentic and less commercial type co-operative where they pay their employees quite well, enough to live on modestly enough. I had to write answers, (essay answers) to 9 questions on their app..Man I hope I get a call from them....I also have applied at a couple of olympia's super duper markets as well, and am in the process of applying for some more officey type positions in the elder social services sector. All nonprofit.
So, I'm just going to keep going until I get a job, then I'll find an apartment. Cross your luckiest fingers for me.....
It's been kind of wild, doing this, not knowing what i'm doing really, just goin it and telling myself that it will happen...best feet forward kind of mode and not much more.....I'm sort of half in trama and half out...wanting so very much to have something just happen, break, whatever the fuck, my hands itch which means money to some of the superstitious, so I tell myself it's something.....
That's the latest from me....not much time for writing, but i'm keeping a journal of this adventure....for later.
Sometimes, on my way back to my friends' place from Olympia, I stop and get a coffee and park the car somewhere and I just sit and watch all the newness of it, and then I feel more hopeful, less scared. Because you know I do feel scared, really scared when I think about what i'm doing too much, and I really hate to admit that to you but now you know.
It's lonely. Damn it's lonely, but that thought is just too cruel to think about, but you know my secret now and I'm glad you do.
Think good thoughts for me and chant "job for Hester" would you?
I love Olympia, its' the right place.
Now for a life there.....
H

lonely is the human predisposition, but how cool to have good cyber friends to confide in. yeah, friends are the best.
so, i won't tell a soul about how you're feeling deep inside. & thank god for coffee and places to drink it. may the best place stand up.
job for hester is now my inner voice.
along with love and peace and health to all .