OBLITERATI: the unspeakable horror of the literary life

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Marksman45
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OBLITERATI: the unspeakable horror of the literary life

Post by Marksman45 » September 23rd, 2008, 6:42 pm

This is a game that you can play with 3 to 5 people if you've got a few hours. All you need are some dice to roll or coins to flip, and enough pencils and paper to go 'round. That, and your imaginations.

1. WHAT THE GAME IS ABOUT
All the players take on the roles of made-up famous novelists. Let’s assume that all these novelists have been well-acquainted for about 10 years, and also that, when it comes to their art, they are talented, popular, and critically acclaimed.

None of these novelists have finished a book in quite some time. Why not? Due to the unspeakable horror of the literary life, they have become too distracted.

Since these novelists are talented, popular, and critically acclaimed, readers everywhere are champing at the bit for them to come out with a new book—but there’s not enough buzz to go around, and whoever gets a book out first will steal the others’ thunder and get all the glory. Enter all manner of passive aggression, undercutting, sabotage, backstabbing, aggressive aggression, intrigue, and shaky alliances.

Who can cut through the distraction, survive the warfare, and keep the others down long enough to get their book finished first?

2. HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED
First, everyone creates their author. Get a sheet of paper and write your author’s name at the top. Underneath that, write “Unpleasant Traits.” Leave four lines below that, then write “Pleasant Traits.” Leave three lines below that, then write “Peculiar Trait.” Leave a line under that, then write “Book Points.” Underneath that, write “Unbalancing Traits,” with lots of space following.

You must give your author four Unpleasant Traits in the form of adjectives describing his character. Select them from the list below and write them on your sheet. One of your Unpleasant Traits has to count double; put a X2 by it. You may add Traits to the list if all players agree.

Unpleasant Trait List
Ailing - Addicted - Apprehensive - Avaricious - Beastly - Bedevilled -Belligerent - Boring - Brusque - Callous - Caustic - Chauvinistic - Cloying - Conceited - Covetous - Craven - Crotchety - Cruel - Deceitful - Depraved -
Depressive - Deranged - Desperate - Erratic - Fawning - Flippant - Foolhardy - Forgetful - Frantic - Fretful - Frivolous - Gluttonous - Grim -Helpless - Ignorant -Incoherent - Indecisive - Insolent - Malicious -Masochistic - Melancholy - Mercenary - Monotonous - Needy - Neglectful -
Obtuse - Paranoid - Parasitic - Pedantic - Petty - Rash - Repetitive - Sadistic - Self-Righteous - Senile - Shallow - Stubborn - Tactless - Tedious - Treacherous - Unlucky - Vain - Violent - Vulgar - Wanton

Next, give your author three Pleasant Traits from the list below and write them on your sheet. Again, you may add to the list if all players agree.

Pleasant Traits List
Adorable - Affluent - Alert - Appreciative - Attractive - Composed - Cunning - Dedicated - Dependable - Determined - Fashionable - Fit - Focused - Frugal - Generous - Graceful - Hip - Indefatigable - Intuitive - Jocund - Jovial - Knowledgeable - Loyal - Majestic - Motivated - Neat - Noble - Organized - Patient - Punctual - Poised - Pragmatic - Sagacious - Sharp - Suave - Thoughtful - Vigorous - Well-Dressed - Wise - Witty

Next, give your author one Peculiar Trait that you make up, then write it on your sheet. This should be something very odd and specific. Some examples:
Raises chinchillas;
Incredibly androgynous;
Crossword puzzle expert;
Practicing occultist;
Skilled with a bullwhip

Next, everyone should briefly describe their authors, and decide the other details about them. Where do they live, how do they know each other, what is the name of the book they are writing, what were the names of some of their previous hits (and misses), that sort of thing.

Next, each author needs to get Unbalanced in some manner. Take turns around the table; the person to your left describes some sort of Random Torment that intruded onto your author’s life and writing process, then asks you, “How does that make you feel?” (They must pronounce the italics. Chide them if they do not.) You should reply, in-character (as your author), with some manner of adjective or descriptive phrase. This is your very first Unbalancing Trait. Write it on your sheet and put a hashmark by it. As long as you have at least one Unbalancing Trait with at least one hashmark by it, your author is Unbalanced and unable to write due to the attendant frustrations and distractions. There is one exception to his, and that is when you have an Unbalancing Trait with five hashmarks by it; in this case, you derive inspiration from the adversity and are able to write.

Once everyone has their first Unbalancing Trait, it is time for your first Gathering. This is some manner of social event that all of the authors must attend. It could be a party, a convention, a workshop, or anything else where they can all be gathered in the same place. Taking turns around the table, everyone should describe some part of the scene, including what their author is currently doing. Once that is done, it is time for the drama to begin.

You want to purge yourself of Unbalancing Traits so that you can finish your book, and you want to inflict them on the others so that they will be unable to finish their books. Taking turns around the table, describe what your author is going to do to another author to get under his/her skin. Your author doesn't have to be doing this consciously. You want to do things that (A) utilize your Traits, (B) use your victims’ Traits against them, and (C) utilize the circumstances of the scene. The player controlling the other author may attempt to thwart what you are trying to do, using the same sort of resources.

You then arbitrate the result by rolling dice (or flipping coins). For every Unpleasant or Unbalancing Trait you are using (your own or your opponent’s), you get one die; for every Pleasant Trait, two dice; for every Peculiar Trait, five dice; for using the circumstances of the scene, three dice (this is a one-time thing; you don’t get six dice for using two circumstances of the scene). If an Unbalancing Trait is used, erase one of its hashmarks. Once the dice are allotted, both players should roll. For every die that comes up even (or coin that comes up heads), you get a point. The player with the most points wins, and his/her goal comes true. The winner then asks the loser, “How does that make you feel?” The response to that question should be written down as an Unbalancing Trait, with a number of hashmarks determined by the level of Escalation (see below). If it matches an existing Unbalancing Trait, add the hashmarks to it.

The loser then has the choice of Retaliating, Backing Down, or Storming Off. If you Retaliate, you must Escalate (see below). If you Back Down, you may not act against the author you lost to for the remainder of the Gathering. If you Storm Off, you leave the scene and do not participate in the rest of the Gathering.

If the dice are tied, neither goals come true. The initiator of the conflict may then choose to either forfeit his/her turn or to Escalate (see below) and try again.

The levels of Escalation are: Indirect and/or Passive-Aggressive Conflict (1 hashmark), Direct Conflict (2 hashmarks), and Causing a Scene (3 hashmarks).

The Gathering ends when either A) only one author is left (the others have all Stormed Off), B) the players all agree to end it, or C) someone Causes a Scene. After the Gathering, the Day in the Life phase begins.

During the Day in the Life phase, take turns around the table. When it is your turn, you may choose to Stay Home or to Pay a Visit to another author.

If you Stay Home and have no Unbalancing Traits with 1 or more hashmarks or you have at least one Unbalancing Trait with 5 hashmarks, you get some work done on your book and gain one Book Point. You must then face a Random Torment chosen by the player who is next in the rotation. If you are unable to write, skip straight to the Random Torment. The other player should choose a Random Torment that uses one or more of your Traits against you. You should then describe how you will attempt to cope with it using one or more Traits. You then roll dice, as in the conflicts at the Gathering. If you win, you may erase a hashmark from one of your Unbalancing Traits. If you lose, the other player asks you, “How does that make you feel?” If you tie, neither happens. After facing your Random Torment, your turn is over.

Paying a Visit to someone is good for an opportunity to inflict Unbalancing Traits and work out your own. It works like a Gathering with fewer authors present. You may Invite another author along with you, but if the invitation is accepted then that player must forfeit their next turn.

Once everyone has had or forfeited a Day in the Life turn, another Gathering happens. After the Gathering, there is another Day in the Life phase with the rotation reversed (if you were going left around the table, now go right). Repeat this cycle until someone attains, say, 10 Book Points. That player is then declared the winner.

Once you have a winner, you may begin the Epilogues. In turn, describe a happy ending for your author involving as many of his/her Traits as you can. The player next in rotation should describe an unhappy ending for your author, likewise using your author’s Traits. Roll dice as in the conflicts to decide which one happens. If your author completed his book, you gain five extra dice automatically for this purpose.

3. WHAT’S SO HORRIFYING ABOUT THE LITERARY LIFE?

Your floors become strewn with page upon crumpled page of horrible, horrible prose that you are ashamed to have originate from your hand. You will burn them presently.

One of your best ideas, it turns out, completely ruins the last act of the book, and must be cut out.

Book signings. Not so bad in concept, except when people have you sign their arm and return to show you that they have made it a tattoo. Or when you sprain your wrist and people curse your name because you couldn’t stand the pain long enough to sign their copy.

Your family makes unexpected visits when you are in the best possible spirits to get some work done. Now you can’t, because you have to show them around Brussels, or Rome, or L.A., or wherever it is you have decided to live in search of inspiration.

You run out of coffee at precisely the wrong times.

You write a sentence that suddenly seems familiar – have you accidentally plagiarized it? You search your library feverishly trying to find a clue to its authorship, and all the while horrible thoughts race through your head. You will be sued! Your career will be ruined, your credibility dashed! People will pelt you with stones from the street!

You discover a copy of your first novel at a bookseller’s, in the bargain bin.
Your fictional characters begin manifesting at the top of your stairs late at night.

You re-read your current draft and realize that it is AWFUL. It could not have originated from your hand by any stretch of the imagination, surely. You will burn it presently.

You take up smoking again. You run out of cigarettes at preceisely the wrong times.

You are so overwrought that your behavior has become so unpleasant that your friends hate you. Because of this, you hate your friends.

For some reason, the television set is on. What you see on it inevitably enrages you, and yet you cannot find the will to stop watching it. You will waste the entire afternoon berating talk shows and soap operas. You even pick up the telephone and say something on a call-in show that you will regret.

A distant cousin that you cannot remember will see that call-in show and call you about your remark. Then he comes to visit.

You are so overwrought that your spouse and/or lover refuses to remain in the same room with you. Because of this, you hate him/her.

Your fictional characters begin manifesting in your kitchen, where they drink the last of your coffee. They then raid your cigarettes. Finally they go to sleep on your couch without extinguishing their cigarettes.

Parties thrown by other literati, where you are compelled to mingle with authors you do not recognize, do not know, or wish you did not know. All conversation revolves around how incredible my next book will be, inane or outright inhuman reviews, how other authors are losing their touch, ineffectual publicity, paltry royalties, and, of course, the unspeakable horror of the literary life. Everyone is boring, but you wonder if this is merely because you are boring.

You realize that you are getting older every minute, which can only mean that your talent is slowly dwindling. Maybe it’s already gone.

You receive a letter from your publisher wondering when the new book will be finished. You will burn it presently and dance around the ashes.

The preliminary sketch of what will be the cover art for your new book is hideous and throroughly inappropriate. Furthermore, it is too late to do anything about it.

Interviews, in which you will be asked questions you have answered a million times and questions for which you have not prepared an answer.

The former will bore you to catatonia. The latter, while rare, will stun you so sharply that you will be unable to do anything but stammer, grunt, and sound like a fool on NPR.

You are so overwrought that you have driven away everyone you care about and who cares about you. Because of this, you hate yourself.

At some point, you must either finish this damned book or admit that you are no longer a writer.

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Arcadia
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Post by Arcadia » September 23rd, 2008, 8:48 pm

wow... long instructive!! :shock: I heard about the illuminati some time ago! :lol: Thanks, I´ll read it completely later (the last sentence changing the word "book" made me smile!!!! )

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » September 24th, 2008, 11:45 am

Wow! Really cool interesting writers game! Maybe you could sell this.

I'd like to play!

Now I just need to find 3-5 people.

:D

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Marksman45
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Post by Marksman45 » September 24th, 2008, 2:07 pm

Arcadia,
Believe it or not, but those rules are actually <i>really really</i> short for this kind of game (it's a roleplaying game, even though I deliberately never mention it in the rules).

Doreen,
Thanks! I don't think I'm going to sell this one, though. It's not a <i>serious</i> game, unlike <a>The Rustbelt</a> (which deals with a lot of rough, intense subject matter -- the whole thing revolves around how much you're willing to lose in order to get what you want, and whether it was worth it). Really, I don't want to charge money for my games until I feel like it would be an insult to the game to give it away free.

You might be able to play it with just two people, but I dunno.

I've got another game about this size based on classic slapstick like the Three Stooges and Laurel & Hardy. It might be easier for two people.

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