Page 1 of 2

Solving a Couple of Problems

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 3:20 pm
by Doreen Peri
The first thing we need to do to get this population situation under control is to convince all those people who believe in reincarnation that the idea of it is pure nonsense. They keep coming back and the traffic gets worse and worse.

We can seriously reduce the rate of reincarnation by convincing people that it's a bogus concept, but some will be persistent especially the wealthy who think they can have anything they want. Ideally it would be good to eliminate reincarnation entirely because it will help solve traffic problems, as I mentioned, and also help alleviate the annual number of abortions. I'll explain how in a minute. Unfortunately, I don't think it's entirely practical to totally eliminate reincarnation. Not just yet anyway. We won't be able to convince everybody.

We're going to need to build very tall fences around the graveyards and put up guardhouses. The guardhouses will give some people who are out of work a job. That will be good for the economy. Plus, if the dead people really want to come back by leaving the graveyard and entering some woman's womb, we can charge an exorbitant exit fee at the graveyard guardhouse gate and another huge fee at the hospital birthing center. Something like $1 billion at each place.

The prohibitive cost alone will make it impossible for most people to keep reincarnating. And only a few of the wealthy will want to come back because most of them won't want to spend that much and when they do, it will also be good for the economy. When they're reborn, they'll have big fat bank accounts and they'll be too young to withdraw the money from the bank and waste it on cars and yachts and McMansions.

How will their money help the economy? We'll have to figure out how to only let the incessant reincarnation nuts be born to poor families so the money they bring with them will help the poor families pay their bills and send all their kids to college. It's important to redistribute the wealth so that 1% of the population isn't in control of all the money like it is now. This is just one method of achieving it.

And this is important to note – The diehard reincarnators need to be forbidden from entering an adolescent girl's womb. This is why we have such a problem with abortion. Too many reincarnators seem to be attracted to the young wombs.

Also, as we all know, there's a huge problem right now with homes going to foreclosure. These houses have become unsightly eyesores due to lack of maintenance. The banks which own them don't want to invest any money in them to keep the lawns trimmed. All the homeless people should be allowed to live in these houses as long as they do the yard work and maintenance. And not only live in them, they should own them outright. This plan will take away the burden of the foreclosures from the banks plus it will give the homeless a leg up because they won't be homeless any more. Bingo! Homelessness solved.

The energy crisis is simple to solve. People all over the world need to start getting up at sunrise and going to sleep at sunset. We can get entire communities off the electric grid this way. Programs need to be developed to educate the public to teach them the important fact that computers are not only a waste of time but energy hogs. A program could be set up to buy people's computers from them for a nice-sized sum if they agree never to use them again. Money can buy anything, I'm sure you know. This will be a wise expenditure. This money can be part of a fund established via a tax to those who keep reincarnating.

There wouldn't be a problem with accessibility to oil and gas if we'd just stop using it. Cars should junked for scrap metal which can be recycled into charcoal grills for cooking, sleds, ice skates, and canoes. People are perfectly capable of walking. If they'd just quit driving everywhere and started walking instead, they wouldn't need gas for their cars because they wouldn't need cars and also they'd become much more healthy. Their heart rates would slow down, their blood pressure would get lower, and they would become trim and toned. This will have a wonderful effect on the healthcare system, substantially reducing the time a person spends visiting the doctor. Insurance costs can also be lowered.

We'll still need airplanes, I think. I haven't figured that one out yet. If any of you have any ideas, let me know. The only thing I have in mind at the moment is a very large glider. Not sure it would work though.

One added benefit which will result from all of these ideas is that there will be no more need for wars once the energy and overpopulation problems are solved.

The first thing you can do to help us on our way to fulfilling these goals is to start talking to your friends and family members. If they believe in reincarnation, please convince them that it's a stupid idea. First off, it's bogus and second it causes all of the above problems.

Another thing you can do is to have a talk with all of your fundamentalist Christian friends and get them moving to get the rapture started! They believe in it, so that's why it's going to happen. All they need to do is believe it will happen more quickly and it will. As most of you know, the "rapture" is when all the evil people will get removed from the earth in one fell swoop. This will be a great benefit to the planet to get rid of all the evil people. And another big step forward in population control.

As you can see, the beginning of solving multiple problems in the world today is quite simple – (1) schedule the rapture for a date coming soon and (2) discourage and hopefully eliminate reincarnation.

Get to work on these now, OK? Maybe we should start a Facebook group for this. Hmmm....

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 9:53 pm
by Lightning Rod
If you wrote this, I'll eat my chapeau

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 10:07 pm
by Doreen Peri
Of course I wrote this. Why else would I have posted it? I didn't quote anybody else or refer to another author. Yep, I wrote it.

Why would you think I didn't write it?

Just curious.

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 10:14 pm
by Doreen Peri
Cracked me up writing it, too. Yeah, I think it's pretty darn funny. Don't you? :mrgreen:

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 11:44 pm
by Lightning Rod
maybe I was just insulted by the preposterous premise of it

Posted: May 14th, 2009, 11:48 pm
by Doreen Peri
Lightning Rod wrote:maybe I was just insulted by the preposterous premise of it
My humor insulted you? How?

Are you so attached to reincarnating that you can't realize how much precious air you're taking up coming back over and over and over!

For crissake, if that's insulting, then I guess I have no grasp on the importance of our limited resources!

LOL!!!!!! :lol:


:D :shock: :? 8) :lol: :o :) :( :P :x :roll: :wink: :twisted: :evil: :idea: :arrow:

Posted: May 15th, 2009, 6:51 pm
by still.trucking
My favorite quote on reincarnation. Kind of puts it in perspective for me.
Eleanor Roosevelt was once asked what she felt about reincarnation. Summarizing her statement she wisely stated: “You know, I don’t think it would be any more unusual for me to show up in another life, than showing up in this one!”


Interesting piece, I have been wondering about those very issues.

I like your avatar. Reminds me of Camus.

Posted: May 15th, 2009, 7:59 pm
by Doreen Peri
Thanks truckin.... looks like i screwed it up... just found out it's the good people they're going to snatch away not the evil people. Drat! I was hoping they'd get rid of the evil people! That blows my whole suggestion to speed the darn thing up!

I like the avatar, too... it's how I've been feeling lately.

The Myth of Sisyphus.

try saying that 10 times real fast. :D

(I like that Eleanor Roosevelt bit. heh.. funny! yeah!)

Posted: May 15th, 2009, 9:44 pm
by still.trucking
Yeah you did, even I knew that about the rapture. I guess for me the evil people would be raptured off the earth. Fundamentalists are as about as evil as it gets for me. Yeah tell them to get tuck out of here. Go to heaven or paradise enjoy it. And us, the meek will inheirit the earth and clean up the mess your crooked politicians left us.

This was a great ramble Doreen.
But are you sure we really need airplanes?

I imagine sissypuss in the teamsters union, yeah he got to bust his balls pushing that boulder up the mountain. But he gets to chill on his stroll down the hill. He would not be running after that dam rock. He would be enjoying the scenery on the way down the mountain. Maybe listening to some tunes on a IPod. That is the way I read Camus' essay. You know he was a valuable man because of the way the TV preachers try to ridicule him. I heard one say Camus was a suicide. Which is a lie.






How are the tunes coming Clay? That is question I noticed made musicians in Nashville nervous. Or maybe it was just me that made them nervous. Live long and be preposterous. .

Posted: May 16th, 2009, 12:42 am
by still.trucking
I think what made them nervous was the thought of getting ripped off. Willie and the boys did a song about let's get together and steal each others songs. There was a lot of paranoia about that in music city.

I had the same reaction as you did Clay. I thought she did not qoute it...But after reading it again I realized no one else could have wrote that. It will probably be circulating on the net for years.

It is hard to have an orginal thought anymore. I thought "live long and be preposterous" was something nobody ever said before. I Google myself sometimes. That bit got four hundred exact hits.

Posted: May 20th, 2009, 11:12 am
by Doreen Peri
Why did you think I didn't write this at first, Jack?

Just curious.

Also, I'm curious how this piece could be offensive to anyone.

Apparently it offended Clay and someone on another site said she didn't like it and found it offensive.

Why is that? I wonder.

Isn't it obviously a joke?

Posted: May 20th, 2009, 12:55 pm
by still.trucking
I think because it seemed so familiar. As if I had read it before somewhere.

I thought it was pretty good doreen. I think it will be one of those viral pieces that will be all over the net.

I did not know Clay could be offended. I suppose I did not try hard enough. (joking)

Posted: May 20th, 2009, 1:42 pm
by Doreen Peri
really? wow.... I thought it was a novel concept myself.

But thanks.

Yeah, surprised me he could be offended, too. Who knew? ... and without even trying! lol

but why?

what's so offensive about it?

still gotta change that part about removing the evil people... when the raptures is supposed to take away the good people

whatever were they thinking? they've got it backwards! ;)

Posted: May 20th, 2009, 10:44 pm
by hester_prynne
I don't know..I always thought it was going to suck out all the bad people, energy, whatever.
I mean, I mostly thought the rapture was hogwash.
I mean, the context of good is myriad.

I think it's brilliant and that facebook is a grand idea!
I think Still is right, this could become a classic.
Damn! it's good!

H 8)

Posted: May 27th, 2009, 9:50 am
by Doreen Peri
hehe... just saw your reply now, hest ... thanks for reading and for enjoying my humor

;)

I wonder how many people would join a FB group called "Down With Reincarnation"

or

"Save the Planet - STOP Reincarnation!" ... haha!

or can you think of a better name?