Home, Sex, & Citizenship

[the mingo]

There are crumbs all worked up under the keys of my keyboard so they don't press all the way to contact and makes me constantly go back and hit the missed spots and it's going to drive me sane most like but why should I be sane ? I mean I see sanity in others but I can't imagine the profit in it. I dropped off my brain at the shop this morning so they's can fix the links on the stabilizer bar - the bushings are shot ya know so the thing vibrates when it hits a bump which I've grown fond of cause it's just like me or the gov't which put an assault rifle in my hands and told me to become one with my gun so I knew I wern't goin' anyplace pretty and boy was I right. Ya go to bed with your gun and wake up with the same gun so it gets boring as hell then one day the gov't says ok you're done boy. ya can go home now. Home? hahahaha Home? After all this I can go where? o yeah - home. hahahahahahaha. I knew the gov't right then did't have a clue. hahahahaha
So I go back "home" and the therapist tells me to look at it as an opportunity for growth and healing. growth & healing? ....hahahahahahahaha ... they spoke of growth & healing as if you couldn't have the one without the other. It's not true let me say.
Then the japanese start teaching me 'bout poetry. About how to get things down to their essence so that they can speak for themselves. It's funny but I understood right off what they's pointing to. So that's how I do it cause I could see for myself that it worked. Then it was time for my bath. Japanese baths are different than american. There're round for one thing and built into the floor for another. And lined with tile. Ceramic tile. The water is HOT you think you're gonna scream from that water. then this woman comes in carrying towels. She sets these down and rolls her pant legs up and gets in the tub with me and starts walkin round and round me sittin there. Wowfuck. I'm naked and this stranger woman is in the tub with me walkin' around. Then I get it, she's getting the water to circulate round me. I ain't never ever been treated like this anywhere my whole life. Then she washes me and rinses me then towels me off. I decide then fuck the US of A I'm stayin' here! She say you can't stay. You have to go home. Home? There's that word again. I say hahahahahaha. no good though, just cause you laugh don't change nothin'. Ain't that just like the world? I mean it shows you something good then tells you you can't stay cause you gotta go home. So ya gotta deal, right? I go "home" . Been here ever since. I hit the road a few times due to the romance of it all. But out on the road one day I asked myself what the road do for that Kerouac boy? Jack get to the end of it and he's drunk and dying from it. That thought brought me up short on a complete halt. Then & there I get the hell off the road. I leave everything in a pile on the shoulder except for what the japanese teach me 'bout how to do poetry. That goes with me.
I know why Jack dies and Ginsberg lives. Ginsberg lives cause he's a fag huckster. Had a long full life that one. hahahahahaha. Jack dies cause he sad, so sad. Sadness open his grave for him. The same price for living is charged to everyone's account. Happy or sad.

Go home and enjoy the pursuits of happiness. hahahahahahaha ... Anyways yesterday in my change I find a wheat penny in my pocket. Ya know how people say "a penny for your thoughts" ? Yeah, well the penny I find is from 1929 with a "D" mint mark. I was waiting at the deli and pulled the change from my pocket to look at for something to do because the young girl in front of me had on denim shorts and very beautiful legs and I couldn't stand myself with looking at those legs any more so I make a diversion for myself with the coins in my pocket. Couldn't believe the date on the penny, which I see because it's upside down in my hand showing me it's a wheat penny then I turn it over expecting something from the 1950's which is usually the case with these. 1929 - year the great depression was born. Hoover was president. The Titanic had only been on the bottom of the Atlantic for 17 years. Horses were still common in the fields & kerosene lamps in the homes. Still had real cavalry units in the army, in fact Custer's bones & the bones of his men were only 53 years in the ground. The Nazis were organized and active in Germany and still not taken that seriously by those they would come to rule brutally in less than four years. The Nazis wern't happy people yet but they were in pursuit of it and the bunker where their god would finally rid himself of his brains was still 16 years of future distant. Moves were afoot in the gov't of the United States to strip any remaining Indians of any remaining sovereignty by legislation that would make them citizens of the United States. I mean what could be more benign & beneficial than that? The motive was evil however and aimed at solving the "Indian problem" once and for all. Ah yes gimme some of that good ol' E Pluribus Unum ! Nobody ever thinks about that motto on our coinage. All the rant centers on "In God We Trust" but not a word ever about "E Pluribus Unum. When it is mentioned it is spoken of as meaning something good. Something to make us strong. Out of the Many - One. I do not wish to live to see the days when the core truth of that motto becomes the reality for this nation. We talk much of the benefits of being a citizen & little of the true intent of citizenship in it's modern form. The ultimate intent of citizenship these days means nothing more than the subsuming of the individual into the whole, the One. The Indians knew the true intent of the legislation and said they didn't want to be citizens. The legislation got passed anyway, anyone listening? It later had to be repealed & the fight was hard. These days it's hard to imagine or believe there actually was once a place in time known as 1929, but I digress. I'm holding on to that penny for awhile - I think it may be talking to me.

And to think all of this came from the sight of the beautiful legs on a young woman in line ahead of me at the deli. And I'm told it's not all about sex. hahahahahahaha

[Arcadia]

[the mingo]

Veronica, you are too kind.

[SadLuckDame]

I agree on that

[Arcadia]

too kind. : uuhh, Mingo... I use to be a borderline kind, so it sounds dangerous, amigo!.... are you ok?

[the mingo]

Veronica - borderline kind? Now there's a piece of word work ! Wow ! Besides I like dangerous. If it comes down to either boring or dangerous I'll take dangerous - it's the pepper on my steak.
Am I ok ? Hell no & hope never to be ok. There have been times in my life when ok was threatening to win but I always escaped either by cutting straight through ok or going around it or bullshitting it 'til I could make my play. Had some close calls but am happy to tell you I made it and I'm not ok to this very day ! And if I ever make it to Rosario I'll give you a big lick from your forehead to your toes just to show you how not ok I am and I'll be hoping you're not ok too !

[Arcadia]

ok!