How Do You Want To Go?

[Lightning Rod]

All the talk of HST's suicide has raised a question in my mind.

We all will have to die.

How do you want to go?

My stock answer to that question has normally been, "I want to be shot by a jealous husband at the age of 95." Doreen has persuaded me to abandon this ambition, however.

In your sleep?
OD?
Hit by a truck?
Choking on a bite of steak?
Giving Smith & Wesson a blow job?

how do you want to go?

[bennie]

I can hear you saying, "smith and wesson" and I like it.

My answer is: quickly.

Ha, I want to go quickly. wake up dead or get shot in the head by a speeding train. something bang and sudden.

I would hate to drown, choke, be beaten to death.

[Lightning Rod]

bennie,

In thinking of ways to die, drowning is high on my list.

They say that it is not an upleasant way to go. Of course 'they' probably don't know what they are talking about because they could talk to us if they had died by drowning.

But my daughter nearly drowned one time. She was about eight or nine. She described the experience to me. It was like a dream, she said.

Is dying just losing consciousness?

[bennie]

actually, I almost drowned once. I actually think I was about 8 or 9 too.

The only unpleasant thing I can remember about it was the taste, or burn, of chlorine in the back of my throat and through my eyes.

I remember it as being very calm and surreal.

I've never had a panic attack, except the first time I smoked "too much" at a music festival and went a bit weird (weirder) for a while. But, I have moments where I feel as though I'm having an out of body experience. I don't mean to sound hippy but I feel as though I'm watching the world sans particiapation and it's a very unsettling yet, at the same time, calming, feeling. As if I'm perfectly safe while all this existence is going on around about me.

Anyway, that's what almost drowning felt like. I was perfectly aware of all the other people splashing around and laughing and I remember thinking to myself that I was in trouble but I was still calmly observing the other pool users whilst bobbing above and below the surface.

I even remember the guy who saved my life. He had a full beard and one of his eyes was staring straight ahead as if he'd got some chlorine in it or maybe it was a glass eye. But I remember this big strange hairy man pulling me from the pool and lying me on the tiled edge while someone called for my dad.

I still wouldn't choose that as my way to go though.

Is dying just losing consciousness? well, yes, if you like.

If you lose consciousness you're unaware. So...

I guess it depends what your beliefs are. I believe that we have life and then we die and that's the end of it. A tree gets hit by lightning and it's just a pile of scorched wood.

[mousey1]

Softly in my sleep. I want to slip gently away as into a dream.

[mtmynd]

I'd like to die ready.

[sooZen]

I hope to die doing something I love...am passionate about. Like a heart attack while I am screwing Cec or driving 85 on a mountain road and just not quite making that corner. The last lap of the Daytona 500 was too cool so I have Dale Earnhardt dreams of death.

Drowning is out...scares me silly...I may have already done that. I don't want to die at the end of a gun or at someone else's whim. Dis-ease doesn't suit me either, I've had it with that shit.

When the time comes...like Cec, I hope I am ready, not fearful and satisfied.

My organs donated, my ashes scattered on Sierra Blanca and a big ass party to see me off with plenty of clowns in attendance.

Peace,
SooZen

Note: Hiya babe! I see your tracks are here. Make some yella snow today and have fun, hah!

[mtmynd]

there'll be plenty of yella snow... i'm on my second cuppa senseo, double pods... the good life.

[YABYUM]

Paddling into a wave so immense in size that all the other surfers in the water and on the beach literally shit themselves when they see that some crazy fucker is actually trying to make it. This would be a good death. Actually, I dont care if the wave is 2ft high, just as long as my body is never found. Although it would be funny to have my body plucked from the sea only to be burned and cast back in.

[Lightning Rod]

ok, yab
I know you are far from death.

but where are you?

what is happening in your life?

[YABYUM]

Im fast growing tired of Montreal.
That six month itch is starting up again. You know that itch that begs for open road with a who cares where destination.
Maybe it had something to do with the police visiting my home the other night. I was drinking alone, this time in honor of Hunter. Of course I drank way past any normal mans limit and somehow still walked and talked without myself really operating the controls. Fortunately, when I realized there were police in my face, I calmed down and somehow escaped arrest. When I woke up the next day at 8pm, Kim told me that she had to call the police because she thought that they would deport me and this made it easier on her to decide if she wanted me to stay. For some odd reason I was not ejected from Canada. For all the shit I talk about god, it seems I always have a sort of angel at my side on these drunken rampages. (amazing how cleansing it is to write that paragraph)

So needless to say (though i will) I am currently involved in marathon bouts of staring at a map and deciding where the fuck i should go next and pretend i can live a sane, productive life.
Staying off the sauce for a while is also a goal, usaully when these kinds of events occur it is quite simple to remain sober for a minimum of 30 days.

Ive been writing often, but its all shit. Giant pages of splattered verbal fecal matter. Its finally getting warmer in this godforsaken ice land. Im still hacking away every tuesday at the open mike, i have actually met some interesting chicks. Two of wich can actually give me a good game of snooker. I work for myself as a handyman for hire, amazing how simple one can afford life when he lives in a city where no car is needed for contract work. Anyway, LR, thanks for asking how I am, I hope to catch up with you one day soon and share a Natty Ice. I really enjoyed your words for Hunter. I must admit I had shivers up my spine when I saw that he ate a bullet.
It seems that all my literary hereos and musical icons enjoy self destruction and the taste of lead. But I cant let this get me down.
We are, after all, professionals.

[izeveryboyin]

I think if I had to go, I'd wait until I turned 80 and slit my wrists in a bathtub to be overly dramatic. It seems peaceful, (and also typical of a writer, so shame on me). My other option would probably be falling naked out of a 10-story window after having the orgasm of my life!
--K

[mousey1]

I'm so boring!

Someone save me!

Can I change my answer now? 'Twould be a lie but what's a lie among friends.

[Lightning Rod]

yab,

snooker

now there's a subject dear to my heart

when compared to schlock barroom pool

it is a real gentleman's game.

you have to have just the right touch

and a keen eye and a cool hand.



sorry to hear about your travails

if I had a woman call the cops on me

I might reconsider my abandonment of spite fucking

[Dave The Dov]

Here's how Dorothy Parker best summed it up.


Resume

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
_________________
bank failures