I would like to know

Go ahead. Talk about it.
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mousey1
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I would like to know

Post by mousey1 » August 28th, 2005, 1:21 pm

How many of you have someone in your life that you can say absolutely anything to and know with all certainty that they'll still be standing there when the smoke clears? Or must we always hold back for fear.....
I used to walk with my head in the clouds but I kept getting struck by lightning!
Now my head twitches and I drool alot. Anonymouse

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Lightning Rod
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Post by Lightning Rod » August 28th, 2005, 2:03 pm

Well mousey,

for the most part I can say anything to doreen.

there are a few basic ground rules that I have learned by sad experience:

1. Don't criticize her poetry.
2. Don't talk about my old lovers.
3. Don't criticize her poetry.
4. Learn to say, 'yes, dear.'

otherwise I can say about anything I want
"These words don't make me a poet, these Eyes make me a poet."

The Poet's Eye

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » August 28th, 2005, 2:37 pm

Lightning Rod, you forgot...

5. Don't talk about her old lovers.
6. Don't criticize her, period.
and
7. Don't talk about her old lovers.

As for me, mousey1, I've learned that it's best not to say absolutely *anything* I think but if I want to, I could, except for ...

1. I don't mention my old lovers.
2. I know better than to criticize his music or poetry.
and
3. I take it slow and gingerly when offering a text edit for his columns, sticking primarily to punctuation and grammar, never suggesting he alter the content, no matter how much I might disagree with it.

I have a friend I could say anything I want to, also, except I never mention that it would be easy for her to lose a few pounds (because she hates her weight,) if she'd only stop putting a half an inch of butter on her crackers and toast and quit eating her largest meal 10 minutes before she goes to bed. Maybe I should mention it.

How about you?

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Post by mousey1 » August 28th, 2005, 3:53 pm

Thanks you two. :)

I should've made it a poll.

I should iterate,

Is there someone in your life you unconditionally trust who you actually want to unconditionally trust and who you know you can unconditionally trust?

I am sure there are probably lots of people who we can say anything we want to, but how many people are there in our lives that we actually want to be able to say anything we want to? ...without fear....comfortable in the knowledge that they will not abandon no matter what!

Is there someone you feel comfortable spilling your guts to who you know will not ever judge or look at you askance?

I just feel like we all need someone who we can feel completely comfortable saying anything to and knowing....really knowing in our hearts it will be accepted.

It seems to me that if you say what you think seasoned with kindness it should be taken kindly...even if it's about old lovers and icky poetry? I mean we're not saying these things to hurt!!!!

And Doreen if you truly know you can say anything you want to your chubby friend then it seems to me you should be able to tell her these things without her taking offense or feeling bad. It may not be the case tho, but when in doubt ask I guess. What she may want is just a shoulder to cry on...chances are she knows about the thick butter and eating late being nonos in her quest for thin.

Thanks again for your responses. :)
I used to walk with my head in the clouds but I kept getting struck by lightning!
Now my head twitches and I drool alot. Anonymouse

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » August 28th, 2005, 4:30 pm

We were both joking around, mousey1 - (I think. ;) )

We both know about each other's previous lovers and it really isn't a taboo topic. It's also not a taboo topic to critique each other's work. We both do that all the time. And yeah, my friend most likely wouldn't mind at all if I mentioned that it would be better for her, if she wants to lose a few pounds, not to eat a large meal before she goes to bed. I was

I trust both of these people implicitely. I can tell them anything and know that what I say will be accepted.

I do think tact and kindness and respect are important components of communication with a person in your life who you want to share mutual trust. It's very important to have such a person in your life, though not so easy to find for some. Some people seemed closed up. They fear opening up and trusting other people. I look at it this way – I'm a wide open book. I'm honest to everybody, without being selective with my honesty. By being that way, it's pretty easy to tell who is trustworthy enough to open up your heart and life to even moreso.

Do you have such a person or persons in your life?

About the poll, I'm not sure but I think it might be possible to add a poll by clicking the edit button. I'll take a look.... Yep! Looks like you can do that. Just click edit, scroll down to the bottom of the page and add your poll.

Looking forward to reading the responses of others. This is a good topic!

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Post by K&D » August 28th, 2005, 5:02 pm

no. not yet anyway...i'd like to be able to but it never seems to work out that the people you want to be comfortable telling tyhings too generally aren't the ones who want you to be that comfortable with...there seems to always be barreres...generally i'm an open book but a very nervous open book...so i'd spill my guts, but often times in fear.
Blah!

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Post by stilltrucking » August 28th, 2005, 5:49 pm

Or must we always hold back for fear.....
By someone in your life do you mean a significant other? If I had one I think I would fear that I would lose her to a stupid remark. I think we are all open books. Friendship is trust. We got to take the risk. But I don't think I could hide anything from her. Even if I was thinking it. The closest thing I have in my life to that is jitterbug. My baby sister was like that. But since she is married now there are things we don't discuss any more.

Rose would always say I was honest to a fault. I asked her about jitterbug and she said, "he is kind to a fault." I think the happy medium is kindness and honesty.
Hi still. You snuck in on me.
:)
Mousey going to sneak another one in on you here. I deleted about four or five posts and combined them into one.

Puting deleted posts here for economy of effort.

KD said
people with psycological differences aren't fucked up, there just different and need to know how to cope.
Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see.

Normal IQ but a little professor when I was young. Everyone thought I was a genuis. Peculiar tastes in clothing, drove my mother crazy shopping for me. I could only wear certain kinds of shirts with a particular collar that was away from my neck. And sameness, when something breaks my routine I am a deer in the head lights. I only keep one fork, one knife, one spoon because I am not much of a house keeper. I lost my fork, ate salads with a spoon for weeks cause I couldn't think to buy another fork. My favorite reading lamp the switch broke. It has been days since i can read. I wonder how long it will be before I do something about that. Tell me I am not bat shit crazy
While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with, AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody.

prosody

No one here can hear me. I say I am brain dead to music, I got no poetry in me. And nobody understands what i am saying. But Studio Eight has been the best place I have found to interact, so I am not complaining

and women oh my god, how many women a week a later i realized what was really being said. Too late. The scariest one was the nurse that grabbed

never mind.






Asperger’s syndrome and my existential strip tease.

It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".
By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with, AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like "little professors." However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.
Listening to a show on NPR about AS. Maybe I am just a hypochondriac. But all the symptons are there. KD You asked me once why I call myself a sick old man. God almighty if you only knew. I suppose at this late date in my life it is all about sublimation. How do I take my lemon and make lemonade
By spilling my guts, doing my existential strip tease I move on.
Last edited by stilltrucking on August 29th, 2005, 3:03 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by mousey1 » August 28th, 2005, 5:50 pm

Doreen....

joking around????

This is a concept foreign to me!

:D

Yes I sneakingly suspected you were messin'! However it behooved me to keep this subject the serious matter that it is! Tho I hope there will be much tomfoolery as I am mucho appreciative of that as well. :D

Both you and Lrod strike me as extremely open and honest individuals. I can't help thinking tho, that there are always taboos, things that are completely offlimits, so it would not surprise me if that existed between you two as well. We all, even the most outgoing and upfront of us, have our private sides that absolutely no one is allowed to see, yet given the chance would freely share with the right person...if there is such a being.

I'll mull the poll!

K&D That has been my experience and thinking too. I think tho that probably most of the barriers are in our own minds. Human nature, for the most part, for whatever reasons, may be inherently untrusting...perhaps we've been kicked in the teeth a time or two too many. Who knows? Anyway I too am nervous about my open bookedness, and I am also choosey, don't want just any old pair of eyes gazing at my innards! There are trustworthy people tho, this I know, and I am sure you shall find the right eyes and ears and mind for you. Thanks for responding, and for your honesty. Honesty is a lovely thing. :)
I used to walk with my head in the clouds but I kept getting struck by lightning!
Now my head twitches and I drool alot. Anonymouse

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v475/mousey1/shhhhhh.gif[/img]

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K&D
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Post by K&D » August 28th, 2005, 5:53 pm

i'm all about those mommets where you feel connected to another for even a breif second or two...that understanding can't happen without honesty...

my friends are always joking because i bring up that connection all the time, they claim thats the one thing i live for.
Blah!

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Axanderdeath
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Post by Axanderdeath » August 28th, 2005, 6:03 pm

I don't know. I can't take hints. Their is this girl that I thought I could do that with. She hangs the phone up in my ear now. feel as though I have no one in the world--it sucks. I don't know if I should just give it a week or so and try agian--she sent me an email that she'll talk to me agian but i have to wait untill she says so--this is hard for me to do... I am trying to... I can't get out of my mind that she still loves me and is ignoreing her emotions so that she can get lots of work done--I can be pretty high maintance. I am trying to get more things on the go.

I is hard to let go.

thanks maybe off topic but I had to get it off my chest kind of--I need a shrink I swear.
thus spoke G.A.P.

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K&D
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Post by K&D » August 28th, 2005, 6:06 pm

wow, dude, thats kind of demanding, you can't call her till she says its alright, sounds like she's high maintanince, but i quess if its to get work done :? but i don't know the situation so i quess i shouldn't add in my thoughts.
Blah!

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Post by Axanderdeath » August 28th, 2005, 6:10 pm

I have been a jerk and a drunk. i don't know--II am high maintance she is not--I just have the feeling that she trys to ignore her feling, any way we have been broken up for 3 months 2 of which she was in spian, when she left we were together, I can't take a hint, but I still try for some reason. ocd?
thus spoke G.A.P.

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mousey1
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Post by mousey1 » August 28th, 2005, 6:14 pm

Hi still. You snuck in on me. :)

No, I don't mean just a significant other. I mean anyone who fits the bill. I just think it's really really healthy to have someone that you can say things that need to be said to so that you don't fricking explode with all the stuff you're holding inside. Because many of us hold stuff inside.

Many of us aren't open books. Many of us are closed books. Yes, still, you appear to be an open book but you also go around deleting all the time....and why...probably out of some sort of fear as to how it will be taken. I think it is a legitimate fear....people do judge us...rightly or wrongly....
If I had one I think I would fear that I would lose her to a stupid remark.
Exactly my point. There's a good chance you're not going to be honest because of your fear....your fear will outweigh your honesty. So wouldn't it be grand to know beyond a shadow of doubt that that would not happen because they accept you even when you say remarks el stupido? You bet it would! Having said all that I think it's very rare. I'm glad you have jitterbug.

And you mean to tell me that you'll tell anybody anything? Spill your guts to the four winds?

More power to you!

Not I tho...not I. I am selective.

Thanks for your response still. I appreciate your honesty. :)
I used to walk with my head in the clouds but I kept getting struck by lightning!
Now my head twitches and I drool alot. Anonymouse

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Post by K&D » August 28th, 2005, 6:15 pm

possesive. perhaps your a typical libra...don't ask, here in santa fe there really into astrology.

i'm extremely possesive sometimes, i'm also a libra! lol. anyways isn't it funny, a lot of these people on this bored claim to be a drunk. i'm not a drunk, pothead or anything like that...maybe its o.k to be left out in that department.

sometimes i wonder if i care as much as other writters on this board, maybe they care more then me and thats why they claim to be drunks? because it doesn't hurt as much if you don't care as much.
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Axanderdeath
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Post by Axanderdeath » August 28th, 2005, 6:18 pm

K&D wrote:possesive. perhaps your a typical libra...don't ask, here in santa fe there really into astrology.

i'm extremely possesive sometimes, i'm also a libra! lol. anyways isn't it funny, a lot of these people on this bored claim to be a drunk. i'm not a drunk, pothead or anything like that...maybe its o.k to be left out in that department.

sometimes i wonder if i care as much as other writters on this board, maybe they care more then me and thats why they claim to be drunks? because it doesn't hurt as much if you don't care as much.
I thought I was the only one, anyway I am trying to quit--AT 23! is that not crazy!

what ever I care too much and no one does about me--for what ever reason, wheather it is my own fault or not, it hurts, always.
thus spoke G.A.P.

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