I would like to know

[K&D]

i have a friend, she's a psycology major...she says being possesive is not a fault...like i have a tendency to say i'm fucked up because of things that are genetic...people with psycological differences aren't fucked up, there just different and need to know how to cope.

i try to be aware of when i'm being possesive and just the awareness of it, makes it smaller, i've found this to be true with most things.

[mousey1]

Honesty is probably always the best policy. The thing is everything is at least two-sided. Such as in your case Ax. You want a certain person to be there for you and she can not for whatever reason. You have to accept that...move on....very hard to do sometimes. The thing is there are always those with open eyes, ears, mind, and heart to you that you can trust. I do think they can be hard to find. Trust the wrong person and you may end up picking your teeth up off the floor I'm sorry to say.

I may be selective as to who I want to open up to, but if they want no part of me what am I to do? Well...you can force nothing on anyone! My advice...which seriously probably ain't worth shit...is to find people who will listen, who you know you can trust and unload, because damn it if you don't you will explode, implode or turn to the sauce or some other destructive thing.

Writing it out is good...very good....use it for sure.....but how much sweeter to have a pair of caring concerned eyes gazing upon you as you share your life's burdens, worries, doubts, fears and joys.

None of us are all that different...I believe we all need someone to share our true selves with...no matter who it is.

They've got to be worthy of your trust tho. Sadly not everyone is worthy of everyone's trust.

We're all seekers.

[lovingpenfull]

I know there are people to whom I can confide and there will be no judgement, my family mostly. The question becomes if or not I would want to do so. There aren't really all that many things in my life where I'm like, 'oh, I need to bear it all, get it out!', maybe one or two times I've felt like that, like that time I was putting aloe vera on my asshole to alleviate the pain from a combination of diarrea and a ten hour train journey without getting up from my seat, and I started to enjoy it...nevermind...I think these people here I can tell anything...what are you guys going to do to me if I tell you some compromising fact about myself? Now that I think of it, I want to say something to you gang that I have never told anyone else, I will have to think what it is, but I will post a confessional that probably won't be too interesting, anyway Master Mouse, what about you? Tell us, do you have a shoulder to whisper secrets to?

[Axanderdeath]

Honesty is probably always the best policy. The thing is everything is at least two-sided. Such as in your case Ax. You want a certain person to be there for you and she can not for whatever reason. You have to accept that...move on....very hard to do sometimes. The thing is there are always those with open eyes, ears, mind, and heart to you that you can trust. I do think they can be hard to find. Trust the wrong person and you may end up picking your teeth up off the floor I'm sorry to say.

I may be selective as to who I want to open up to, but if they want no part of me what am I to do? Well...you can force nothing on anyone! My advice...which seriously probably ain't worth shit...is to find people who will listen, who you know you can trust and unload, because damn it if you don't you will explode, implode or turn to the sauce or some other destructive thing.

Writing it out is good...very good....use it for sure.....but how much sweeter to have a pair of caring concerned eyes gazing upon you as you share your life's burdens, worries, doubts, fears and joys.

None of us are all that different...I believe we all need someone to share our true selves with...no matter who it is.

They've got to be worthy of your trust tho. Sadly not everyone is worthy of everyone's trust.

We're all seekers.

I have to give space to this girl and she would probally come around-at least to be a friend, and shit it is hard to get my fucking brain to get that. Like being angry at someone and yelling at them about it is in anyway a smart course of action. But when you call some one and ask them to help you out and the say that they can't even speak to you for a second, it just makes me angry. This is what happend one night I called up drunk and asked her if:
"you could come down with your tools and fix me up? I need help."
she was quite angry at this and hung up, and I called a couple more time and she would not answer. then I called in the morning and asked her how. Later on thet week I called her agian, and she hung up in my ear so I left about 8 messages on her answering machine ranting about how she should not hang up in my ear because it makes me crazy. I had not slept in 2 days by that point, I was walking around with tears in my eyes and heeving with angry. She has since sent me an email saying that she just had lots of work that week and I had to respect her time and space--which is a classic way that gitrls use to say, "leave me alone freak!" Now I feel like I am some kind of dangoruse phyco killer, but I don't want to kill any one never have or will, just what I nmean is I feel a bit crazy and delusonal-- any way thank for reading...

[MrGuilty]

Try A Little Tenderness

http://www.lyricsdepot.com/otis-redding ... rness.html

[gypsyjoker]

I often wonder who is the biggest woman hater here. You or stilltrucking?

[mousey1]

Ax, never call when you're wasted or stoned

makes a bad impression.

Never call to ask for help to get wasted or stoned

And never make a pest of yourself.

Having said all that, a true friend would have lent you an ear especially if you were in desperation....unless of course you were being truly assholish...which I'm sorry to say there is little or no reasoning with.

It sounds like you know where you went wrong but you just got a little tightly wound.

You said it yourself....give her some space.


Oh, and above all take everything I say with a grain of salt as I am just as confoosed as probably you.

Good luck man.



gypsyjoker wrote: and I quote:

I often wonder who is the biggest woman hater here. You or stilltrucking?

In the words of the immortal Bob Deniro...

"Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?

and in the words of SnagglePuss...

"Put em up! Put em uuuuupppp!"



Lovingpenful....you fuuuunnnnnyyyyy!!!!

Aloe Vera you say?....hmmmmmm.....vellllly interesting!!!!

As for me and do I have a soft ear in which to speak or spill?...I think I probably do. But I'm not usually a gut spiller. I need to feel that all important trust. Don't want my guts gathered, bottled and passed around on ever street corner....not that they're all that scintillating....guts like any other to be sure!!!!!

I just really treasure the thought that welcoming ears and tender eyes are there if I so need. We all do need sometimes afterall.

Thanks for your snappyy repartee. Looking forward to your promised gutspilling....I shall be all ears! As I usually am.

[Axanderdeath]

I don't think I am a women hater. If I am I do not want to be. Mousey it is more complicated than I wrote, but you are probally right. Space. I am just afraid that if I give space she is going to end up just thinking about everything she hates about me and brooding on that, then there will be no place in her heart for me. This girl is really important to me! I fucked up, but I am making great strides in trying to better myself--I won't get in to that but I am sure if you read the last couple of post I posted you can guesse. I am not that horrible of a guy. I am kindof neroutic maybe, but I can not help that. Thanks for listening...

[mousey1]

Ax, you're human like all of us. Some people like to puff themselves up and act all superior but when all is said and done no one is any better than anyone else.

Good for you on your great strides....but remember, tiny steps are okay too. Try not to get discouraged. I do hope you have one or two shoulders to lean on because it's very hard to do things on your own.

As for your girl friend, giving her space will not cause her to dwell on your bad points but more likely than not remind her that you actually have some good ones. Being a pest and a jerk will win you no points at all. Sometimes you have to prove yourself to people, because they will lose trust in you after awhile if you keep letting them down.

Something that I'm sure you all ready know is that everything you do has to be ultimately for yourself, your own well being. If you're changing your ways to try to win her back, I think that's fine for an initial motivator, but it's doubtful that will get you by in the long run. 'Cause it may very well not work out.

Concentrate on you. It's pretty obvious that you know you need to make some changes in your life...get help doing that.

I think we can all learn from each other if we're willing to listen, so I always want to be a listener, there's so much to learn. You are definitely not a "horrible guy" and I wish you all the best. Sounds like you're really serious about getting clean and sober and to be honest I think that's the only way you're ever gonna be truly happy. Don't be a shmo and self-destruct, you're young and have way too much living to do.

Life is what you make it.

And I'm not preaching at you, just making some observations based on what you say. I'm too busy fucking up my own life to ever be pompous enough to preach at someone else.

Thanks for responding to this thread. You were not off topic at all, this stuff all relates.

[Rat Bag]

and in the words of SnagglePuss...

"Put em up! Put em uuuuupppp!"

Mousey,
Anyone who quotes SnagglePuss is indubitably cool as anything
you just made my hotlist of cool people who quote SnagglePuss

________________


But on topic, I think I just may have found such a person, too early to tell just yet though. You may know her, she's really cool, but I shouldn't speak about it just yet, just in case.

[mousey1]

Ratbag....anyone who knows who SnagglePuss is is alright in my book too!

I think I just may have found such a person, too early to tell just yet though. You may know her, she's really cool, but I shouldn't speak about it just yet, just in case.

No....definitely....dont Jinx it! Such people are treasures!

And ya, if she's cool I definitely know her.

[Axanderdeath]

Ratbag....anyone who knows who SnagglePuss is is alright in my book too!

I think I just may have found such a person, too early to tell just yet though. You may know her, she's really cool, but I shouldn't speak about it just yet, just in case.

No....definitely....dont Jinx it! Such people are treasures!

And ya, if she's cool I definitely know her. [/quote]

I could not do it--want to die!!!!!!!--hell...

[hester_prynne]

Well mousey, so far, I've run most people off by saying anything, but I keep puttin it out there anyways!
Heh.
Onward and outwithitward!


h

[mtmynd]

Yeah, Mousey... I have a mate that I can say anything to, but I also must put up with the consequences on some of them... never so bad that it calls for a end to a long and great relationship.

I can't say enough for the word 'friendship'... for me (and her), it is the foundation of our relationship where love can be built and last.

[mousey1]

Ax.....Everything takes time, don't be so hard on yourself. If you really want it you'll do it. You're only 23 man, you've got time to work this all out. Come back when you're 80 and still in the same boat and then maybe my 200 year old carcass will give up hope on you...not until then. You'll get there, at least you recognize your problem. Chin up, as me ol' granny used to say!(I made that up!:roll: sounds good! )


Hester you go girl!!! I love your outspokenness! I love your honesty and willingness to speak out and up, to let it all hang out. I think it's a shame that people could be run off by your putting it out there....yourself out there. It just underscores for me how truly grand it is when you know there are those who will not be run off....no matter what....who accept you for who you are. Keep being you Hes...there will always be those who treasure you for it!


mt, that's good to hear! And frankly, tho I know very little of either you or sooz, it does not surprise me. You're lucky you found each other. Friendship and love the perfect combination.


I guess I'm really just wondering how many people have that, actually feel the freedom to speak their true true minds with someone, anyone, with complete impunity. I can't help thinking that most people hold back, always hold back, even with those we supposedly love.

Thanks all for your responses.