Theft

[Lightning Rod]

I've never been much of a thief. Not that I don't admire the profession, especially when done on a grand scale. A good bank heist or an armored car job can be thrilling, or a second floor job wearing a black ninja outfit and stealing jewels is romantic. What I really hate is when people do it with a pencil.

I had a short career as a shoplifter at one time. I was young and penniless and hungry. I stole food to survive, but I never stole more than I could eat.

I had determined that if you were well dressed then there was less likelihood of scrutiny in the supermarket. I went in one day wearing a tie and white shirt and white slacks. Dress shoes.

When you are shopping with the five fingered discount, you look for the highest price and the smallest package. On that day I found myself in the meat section. My advice is that if you are going to steal to eat, steal filet mignon. I slipped two juicy filets down my pants.

Everything went smoothly until I hit the check out counter. As I was paying the guy for the stick of butter that I was using to get gracefully out of the store, I looked down at the blood red stain that was growing on my white pants at the crotch. There was a tense moment. I thought, "I'm busted." but the guy looked at me with a puzzled look of disgust as if to say, "why aren't you wearing a tampon?"

I went home and cooked steak.

Have you ever stolen anything?

[Doreen Peri]

I agree that if you're going to steal something, you might as well steal something worth a whole lot, or why bother?

This is why I decided to steal your heart.

[Lightning Rod]

I was wondering where it went

[Doreen Peri]

I stuck it in my pants.

[stilltrucking]

Theft of childhood. A lot of that going around.

[K&D]

i think i told you this story way long time ago.

about that girl who use to make fun of me in middle school, her and this girl that wanted to be just like her wore, this atrocous bright green plastic jacket, and i found it, i was going to flush the damn thing down the toilet, which to me symbolized the problem, people caring more about there outward appearance then who they were, the girl made fun of me to look cool...and she was one of the few who got to me, because damn was she presistant...but you know what i did...i didn't flush it down the toilet. i gave it back to her. i dealt with my rage pretty well. and boy did i have rage.

[nannabug]

..

[Lightning Rod]

oh, common nanna

there has to be a piece of bubblegum back there somewhere.

(oh yes, if I shave my moustach I have to be prepared to be called ma'am. It must be my girlish figure)

[K&D]

when i was real young i use to play, and in fact was known for, stealing something of someones without them being able to tell and then returning it when they weren't looking...i was such a bad theif, but a bit of a magition...perhaps it was my way of getting attention.

i've always been an attention whore.

[stilltrucking]

For some reason i am thinking of The Bicycle Thief

Things I have stolen:

Cars, back in the fifties when you could hot wire a car with a piece of aluminum foil from a gum wrapper. Joy rides, never tried to profit from it.

[Zlatko Waterman]

(Woodie's song idealizing Pretty Boy Floyd):


(paste)


Now as through this life I've rambled
I've seen lots of funny men
Some will rob you with a six-gun
And some with a fountain pen


(link)


http://www.tabpower.com/s25128.html



--Z

[hester_prynne]

In 5th grade I stole a pack of cherry jello from a little grocery store in Port Townsend called Dell's grocery, on a dare. There were three of us, on a stealing mission. I hid the package under my sweater and headed out of the store to my bike, waited for my friends. They came running out and we all hopped on our getaway bikes, however the proprieter came running out and of course stopped my bike by making me tip over, and the jello fell out of my sweater when I fell. Meanwhile, my two friends got away.
Anyway, he yelled at me and told me I'd better get home because he was gonna call my mom, and the police, that I was a criminal, did I know that? I was crappin scared, i'll never forget that. I gave him back the jello, I got on my bike, crying, and beelined home....told my mom everything, waited for the grocery store to call, waited for the police to come and take me away forever.
No one even called.


But I never stole again after that......
H

[Artguy]

At the age of 16 just after an Eric Clapton concert (Oceans Boulevard tour)...high on acid for the 1st time buddy and I pulled into a used car lot put a car up on jacks and stole it's tires....fucked up...but got away with it...

...oh ya also met Chuck the chick that night...

[Rat Bag]

Some fucker stole my BMX when I was in grade 11.
I was so pissed off, walking home cursing and steaming.
If I'd seen someone on my bike that day I reckon I might have committed murder.

So I never stole anything because I knew how it felt.

Oh I suppose I might have taxed some petty lollies or something when I was a kid. Can't remember, but chances are, the company I kept, that I lifted some small stuff once or twice.

But I never stole from people cos I knew what it felt like to work for something and have someone take it away.

That is, until I got lost in Amsterdam.

(I don't know that I've told this story before)

I'd had quite enough of walking, especially not knowing where the hell I was or where I was going, I'd even become disoriented as to direction, late at night, strange land, I thought Fuck this, I'm not walking any more.

Those damn tredlies were everywhere and they were all pieces of crap so I justified it to myself. So I grabbed one and started riding and damn, it felt good, the wind, the cool night...

So I found my way back again in no time flat and ditched the bike on a rack with a hundred other bikes.

Two days later I was sitting at the busstop waiting for my ride out of town when this weird rogue-dude sits next to me and starts talking "people see everything around here, y'know".

I was put on edge, to say the least.

[stilltrucking]

I was put on edge, to say the least

Kind of like the feeling of Poe The Tell Tale Heart?

I stole a pickle once. Hungary as hell one day while I was unloading a truck loaded with 900 cases of pickles. I took out one jar, took one pickle out of the jar and put the jar back in the case. I have always felt guilty that I did not steal the whole jar. Thinking about somebody bringing that jar home with one pickle missing