Which is most powerful social instrument?

[Lightning Rod]

Which is more powerful as a social instrument?

1. Please
2. Thank You
3. I'm sorry
4. Up Yours, buddy

Please ignore the first please, or the second one, if you please

[Zlatko Waterman]

LR:


I have to go with the (ze) French here. They have the best way to set Americans and English up:


"Ce depend . . ."



("It depends")



--Z

[Lightning Rod]

I can't get this damned poll thing to work

this is my fourth try

[Doreen Peri]

Could you please remove the first please, please. Thank you. Oh, you can't? It didn't work right? I apologize for the fact that it didn't work right. It won't do it any good to tell the software, "up yours, buddy", but if it would please you to do so, go right ahead. Thank you.

[judih]

after hanging out with a hundred teachers or so for 2 days straight, i can say that "thank you" does em good. There's nothing quite like a word of appreciation to motivate people to give on giving of themselves.

As for me, i hear 'thank you's' rarely enough that when a student says it, i listen.

My man says it with a twist of American, so i can't take him seriously ('thank you, dear'... in a slightly new England great grandmotherly tone)

not sure if anything like this question is possible to generalize. It truly depends on the culture in which one's dwelling.

j

[abcrystcats]

I'm cracking up. I'd go with "up yours, buddy" but you didn't include it in the poll, Lightning Rod! How could you be so remiss?

Seriously, I'm going to part with the crowd here and vote for "I'm sorry", provided it's sincerely meant. I think it's lost value over the years because:

1) It's not done right. "I'm sorry you feel that way" or the variations I've heard, is not an apology! It's not taking responsibility for anything.
2) It's used as a business/customer service ploy, and in that case it usually has no meaning whatsoever.
3) People say it to get something done, or to mend personal fences, without making the corresponding effort to change.

However, IF an apology is made after serious self-examination and with intent to correct the error, then it's the best thing going.

"Thank you" --what does THAT mean? Again, if it's sincere, a lot, but I doubt it has the power to effect social change or mend broken relationships, and "I'm sorry" does.

Now I'm going to try to cast the vote ...

[hester_prynne]

I'll have to vote
None of the above.

You see, the most powerful social tool in my opinion is honesty.
the thank you's, the pleasings, the sorrys, even the up yourses and the fuck you's are all empty without it.
H

[Glorious Amok]

well Hester,

it certainly is tough to beat that answer! the others are all just tools, aren't they? whereas HONESTY actually requires the know-how necessary to properly operate the lot of them.

[WIREMAN]

.................the formal sit down at the big table dinner..........it puts everyone in their place.........of the choces "I apologize"......mark