Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

"It isn't enough for your heart to break because everybody's heart is broken now." (Allen Ginsberg)

i've just been cruising through some quotes looking for inspiration and this one is the one that resonates most.

If i begin with the premise that we're all recovering from shattered hearts (lost love, grieving, disillusion, emptiness), then yeah, the pieces i call myself are not enough. It's not enough to have suffered the experience/s. All that experiencing was part of what has to be done in life, but there's a but. There's a 'now, what?' that needs to be faced and accepted and embarked upon.

It isn't enough to sit upon what i've gone through, we've all gone through pain. We can't all just sit around wallowing. We gotta get on with things.

What do you think? What do we do first?

ever onward, soldier smokers

my main regrets have come
from the things I didn't do
rather than from the things I did

i only regret what i fail to rectify
all those done mistakes toss themselves in my backpack and lug themselves along.

if i get a second chance to do it all over again, the mistake conks me over the head and bugs the shit outa me till i try a different way of dealing.

And the biggest nudnik in that backpack is what the Dalai Lama said: <i>As soon as you recognize that you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.</i>

Those words never let up.

So, according to my own theory, what i need to do is simply get on with things, hopefully bungling things wherever possible so that i can continue life by making right all those wrongs.

i'm feeling very stupid today - bear this in mind

judih

what is broken has changed form
from whole to shattered

new status - shards.
creative material.

maybe
make a mosaic from them?

Regret is why I make those decisions that I do.
I want no part of that definition.
To regret is to have not followed that voice......
that voice inside my (your) inner sanctum.
It is the same as "being afraid".

I'll post as a surfer here:

To stand alone facing those waves breaking half mile off shore is fear enough. Far away, those fuckers are.
They crash down after a global pursuit.

One person stands watching, waiting for thiers.

Then momma ocean pulls from her bag a set of rogue thunder,
as a surfer, you look at her face, you stare at her,

here is where your spirit lies.

If you want truth, you turn and paddle.
If you want to challenge fear, you turn and paddle.
If you want to know what you're made of.........you hop up.
If you wipe out and drown, If you score a perfect bottom turn,
You go into the light without rage against it.

My point is........
Regret is not turning your back to the wave.

The last couple of weeks have taught me about living through pain...trying to mend my body and spirit all through moving forward...and knowing it can't be done alone...through the love of family and friends...I am once again becoming whole...

I wrote and posted this to this thread late last night. Then I deleted it because I decided I wanted to edit it. I didn't do much editing, though. Only one line. It's still really not what I want to say but I'm posting it again anyway. Unlike real life, in the internet world (at least on this site and some others), you can take words back out of your mouth with the delete button. In the real world, once you say it, it's said. That's a lesson I work on learning every day. I used to say everything I thought. Now that I'm getting older, I am slower to speak. And more thoughtful. (I try to be anyway) - So, here is what I posted and deleted.... Whatever it means is up to you.

----------

i move on, forget regrets, admit the validity
of peace, choose my distance and stance, quell
the demand from my spirit to pity me my circumstance.

i move on to dance a new step cross stage, take my
backpack off, deal with immediate music, stupidly
bearing overstuffed luggage twice my size, i rise
to a releve, delay the inevitable coagulation of scabs,
drab though my dreams may be to some, i come to
take flowers from myself at a cast party, acts,
scenes, already written, played, audience having
taken seats and then departed at variable intervals,
dry white wine served in plastic glasses and the Dalai Lama
sends in emails which recognize errors of stage direction and
i take heed because according to me i am not following myself
well enough and i need to write the script again though i am
awed that i was even hired to begin with for a minor role.

the rule is to throw away trash when you make it.
if the lines were unsuitable for your character, crumble it up,
toss it away into a bin and begin again with a new sheet,
your legs wrapped up in the silk, toes sticking out for air,
daring the getting on with a morning, flirting with another
empty drawer, filling up plastic trashbags with blanket statements
you shouldn't have made, airline tickets you shouldn't have bought,
spades and hearts, cards dealt not meant to be in your hand.

i only regret finding purpose to rectification.
i gather damned fragmentations, piece them together
like jigsaw shards of shattered glass, superglue, my hero.

i move on and i am and i will as i do this moment.
i move on....

12.3.05

without my mistakes
I would be nothing

the trick is being able
to make the right mistake

Right Mistake

I figure that all regrets end and begin again, at the stroke of midnight.

Doreen, What a great read.
I would have really regretted missing it........

Smooches to Judih....
smooches to us all.....
H

almost finished more or less I have not done the quotations yet

As soon as you recognize that you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Oh dear yabby (does that botter you yabyum, it is such a cool monicker I could have said yabyummy which is worse I think) well I was just thinking along those lines myself
I was thinking about regrets for what can not be corrected. I am reading the Dalai Lama words today. About the difference between the religious life and a spiritual life. Is it a guy thing to say “he who can not say the words there is no redemption is not fit to live.” Just doing the exit stencil strip tease. I “blanked” on her. She rested her weary head on her saviors breast. I could not correct the abortion or the car wreck on San Marcos Pass. All I could say was, “Good night good night, you know I love you but Jesus loves you best.” I am grateful to be on His shit list for the rest of my life and points beyond, give up that eternal party, just to know she is all right, and still has that little statue of the jolly fat Buddha. Now what the hell was we talking about here?

My point is........
Regret is not turning your back to the wave.

"It isn't enough for your heart to break because everybody's heart is broken now." (Allen Ginsberg)

i've just been cruising through some quotes looking for inspiration and this one is the one that resonates most.

Ten four big mama
Burry my heart next to Red Emma’s at Wounded Knee.

Right Mistake

Ten four it is all good
(stillwaiting on download)
got it

like jigsaw shards of shattered glass, superglue, my hero.

I don’t always get Ram Das, but he is still a hero to me. Spider woman was a bit amused to hear about the egg on his beard. Well he says there are no accidents, I almost wish I could be a hindu but I can’t follow those lines. It is not the mistakes as such, it is the noise they can make, guilt is such a mind fuk. The static in the attic turbulent thoughts.

“This is a bit like a river that is flowing quite strongly, in which you cannot see the river bedvery clearly. If, however there was some way you could stop the flow in both directions, from where the water coming and to where the watewr is flowing then you could keep the still. That would allow you to see the base of the river quite clearly. Similiarly when you are able to stop your mind from chasing sensory objects and thinking about the past and future and so on, and when you can free your mind from being totally “blanked out’ as well, then you will begin to see underneath this turbulence as the thought processes. There is an underlying stillness, an underlying clarity of the mind. You should try to observe or experience this…

it works for me the best twenty five cents I have spent this week. Quote of Dalai Lama in The Art Of Happiness

I wonder if nietzsche had any regrets?
unedited, there are not enough aspirins in the world to fix my head in the morning. I think there was a line from a song "my head hurts, my feet stink and I don't like Jesus and he don't like me" or something like that. Seems like a lot of people are expecting him to show up any day now and they are also sure he will be pretty got dam pissed when he shows up. Jesus is just allright with me, he was there for her.

Hic