INSOMNIA
Posted: December 6th, 2005, 8:22 am
It's kind of incredible, really. This past two months or so I have slept, on average, three hours a night. Some days, in fact, I have went without one second of shut-eye for up to three consecutive days. Even after that stretch, when I finally hit the rack I slept only five or six hours and awoke, unable to sleep anymore. My work schedule shifts around week to week. The days I open the cafe at 8am, I usaully just stay awake and go into work perhaps catching my three hours of rest somewhere in the late hours of the night. The days I dont have to work until 2 or 3pm, I usaully sit awake until 8 or 9am and then doze off for a few hours. I'm not complaining, at least, trying not to. What strikes me as really wierd is the fact that I am not tired when I am working. It's become like a wierd trance, some other dimension of reality. I thought maybe it was the beer. So I got on the wagon about five days ago. Not one drop of my coveted barley and hops, and still no change. I dont drink coffee. When I do start feeling a bit weak in the middle of a double shift I just pound back one of those energy drinks and I'm off to the races once again. I tried turning off the TV and lying in bed in total darkness and with best efforts possible, clearing my mind and thinking of nothing but sleep and relaxation......two hours later I sit up disgusted that I can't even think myself to sleep and start reading one of the three books I'm into right now. Next thing I know the sun is up and it's time to go to work. Right now is one of those moments. It's 4:06am and I just spent two hours lying in bed, tossing and turning seeking out that just right position where I'll find my sleep nirvana, nothing. I have to be at work at 11:00am today and pull a double shift, closing the cafe around 10pm. I can't explain it. I think I'll stay on the wagon for as long as I can hold on, maybe I'll start fucking jogging or join the local aquatic center where they let you swim in the big ole fucking pool. Maybe it has to do with the size of this town. I am used to cities, man. Walking miles upon miles in a day, racing around like a kid in candy store seeking out trouble and inspiration in as many new places as I can find per day. Here in this town I can walk around as slow as a snail and still find my beginning point before the sun falls. A bowling alley and bars. I found a poetry reading last week and it sucked ass. Just a bunch of older small town people reading about trees and birds and shit. I got up and read a nice true to heart Yabyum poem and just kinda blew thier faces off. It was fucking awesome and they seemed to like it, at least thats what they all said afterwards, but it was boring. I'm trying to get something together at the cafe, but it's slow going. Insomnia is a whore and she is really starting to piss me off. I even tried those Tylenol PM pills. They worked for like two days and then when the dosage started reaching 6 pills just to feel the sensation of tired, I decided that wasn't such a good idea considering the warning to those who consume more than three alchoholic drinks per day. So here I find myself typing away and telling my dillema to the internet world of strangers. In between googling every word I can possibly think of. Speaking of that, I have visited around 10 sites that talk about how they can search my family roots, yet every single one of them has told me that my last name is unknown and has no meaning. This makes sense to me. Not even my dad knows what we are, although he assumes German. He never knew his dad so we can't ask him. All I know is I am Ronnie A. Klemple the third and we don't exist anywhere in the world. Perhaps the good lord just shat out a Klemple somewhere and he just travelled the globe, staying under the radar shitting out other Klemples and moving on. See? This is what insomnia does to you. You can't even imagine some of the shit that goes through my head during the course of a work day. Sometimes I have no idea what my response was to something someone had said to me, I just know it must have been seriously fucking odd ball by the way they glance over thier shoulder as they walk away with that look of utter disbelief. Yeah......I'll stop now.[/b]
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