Retard Consumer

[Rat Bag]

I was woken up this morning by the tune of my room mate's mobile phone ring tone:

Da na na na, na na na naaa naaa, na naa naaa...

but because the cheapskate mobile phone companies remove all but the absolutely necessary frequencies of sound, it sounds a little something more like:

Ga gna gna gna, gna gna gna gaa gaaa, ga gnaa gnaaa...

At first I was just disturbed by the hideous sound it produced but then it got to the lyric line:

"Don't wanna be an American..."

And it struck me. This twat has Green Day's American Idiot as a mobile ring tone. The irony is burdonsome and if you can't see it I'm not going to explain it to you.

Might as well have a ring tone that goes "Answer your phone you fucking retard consumer!"

Gotdam.

[Traveller13]

Explanation of the retard consumer syndrome:

It's important to keep up the fashion, therfore to buy skin-deep stuff. If you don't, it means you aren't attached to your image. That isn't cool. Therefore you need to buy a mobile phone. You also need to have one that has the qualities that the mass worships, for example it's ability to ring in melodies. If you don't, people won't think you're cool, and you won't be cool, because coolness is about the way people see you.
On the other hand, it's also cool to look like you don't conform to a model, because it makes you stick out. And who knows, people might end up following you! But you can't really not conform, because if you did you wouldn't conform to the way people see you, which would stop you from being cool. The trick is to pretend you aren't conforming. It doesn't matter if it makes you look absurd, because people who are attached to coolness won't notice.

Thus the retard consumer syndrome: pretending not to conform in order to conform, while conforming anyway.
And everyone keeps wondering where brain diseases come from.....

[judih]

the important thing is

once you have a mobile,
and a cool ring,
arrange for people to call you
a lot
and do not answer the phone
let the ring go on and on
so that people will not fail to notice just how cool you are

go ahead people
onwards towards coolness

[Traveller13]

yes!
that's it!
it'll make you feel important!
it'll make you look wanted!
if you're in an embarassing situation, you can always snap out of it by going "I believe this phonecall is important" or "I need to check my messages"!
and all that magic just because of an angry neighbor desperately wanting you to retrieve his borrowed carkeys!

[tinkerjack]

so that people will not fail to notice just how cool you are

onwards towards coolness

"Answer your phone you fucking retard consumer!"

Rat you have touched a nerve with this one. The first thing that crossed my mind was Nietzsche’s caveat about self-loathing. I had to work his name in here because it just doesn’t get no more cool then dropping his name.
We are posers, we are monkeys, hair less apes, stupid consumers, but most of all we are all so got dam vain. Six billion people, and they all need cell phones, water, food, shelter, and love.

Hey rat:
cool string

[Rat Bag]

What bothers me is not that people have mobile phones, per say, nor that they think that having a cool tune as a ring tone will make them appear cool to others. What bothers me is that people are too stupid to recognise the irony in having a song that conveys such an anti-consumer message as the medium for their pro-consumer activities. Yes, it is the non-recognition that bothers me. If it was a snide joke, as if to say "look at me, biatches! I'm playing an anti-consumer message through my pro-consumer medium, suck on my non-conformity" then it would all be suffiently paradoxically entertaining. But it's not that. It's "This is a cool tune and I'm using it for my ring tone so that when people hear it they go "hey cool ring tone", I don't really care about what the song means". Yeh, that's what bothers me. Not that it bothers me, but it bothers me, y'know?

What bothers me most, though, is that Green Day don't even have the balls to stand by their anti-consumer message by refusing to sell their song to the mobile merchants. They are just cashing in on the same "redneck agenda" they are trying to flame. Eat shit Billy Joe!

[mtmynd]

I agree, rat bag... fuck 'em... fuck 'em all in the fucking head, the mother fuckers! fuck green-fucking-day and all they fucking stand for, the little whiney cocksucking fuck heads! Down with Green Day and all that shit they fucking sing about!! They're a group of fucking fucks that should use their fucking money that make off the fuckers that buy their fucking shit and make the goddman world a fucking Green World and quit relying on those fucking plastic-ass CDs that are made through the wars for fucking oil. Goddam their fucking little fuked asses...

yo!

[tinkerjack]

Rat bag I got this friend. When he was about seven or eight jitterbug bought him a skate board. The first thing the kid did was pose on it. Stood there like he was a skate board star in a Pepsi He was big into Green Day when he was about twelve..
I did not get your post at all. Sorry I missed your meaning.

What I did get was it is your room mate. I don't think I would last five minutes with a room mate what ever ring tone they had.

I think I would have to wear ear plugs.

[Rat Bag]

Yah, I hear ya. We take turns waking each other up with our snoring. I need ear plugs. I have two room mates but the other doesn't snore. No matter, it's temporary, I will be moving soon enough, into some place with a room of my own. And no matter that you didn't get my drift. I don't judge you.