The Fox is a Chicken--Mexican Drug Laws
Posted: May 5th, 2006, 11:00 am
So, President Vincente Fox of Mexico decided not to sign the bill that would liberalize Mexico's drug laws to permit personal use. One can only imagine the phone conversation between Mexico City and Washington:
Bush: V'cintay?
Fox: Si, Mr. President.
Bush: Didju learn the Star Spangled Banner yet?....hehe
Fox: Not yet, but Julio Inglesias is going to come and teach it to me. And how ees the family?
Bush: That's why I'm calling, V'cintay. Laura is a little upset. And I'm upset. You see, we have two girls, twins. They are young and stupid. And now we hear that you are about to sign a law that will legalize small amounts of dope in your country, cocaine and heroin and grass and speed, you know, all the good stuff.
Fox: Yes, Mr. President, we think it will help in our enforcement effort. Plus it will be good for tourism.
Bush: I'm sure it would, V'cintay, but remember when we were in Cancun over spring break? I know we shared a few lines when we were talking about grand things like globalization and your sinsy was good too, but we are seasoned world leaders, we can handle that sort of thing. What about those kids on the beach, the ones that were buzzing on Bicardi and Jose Cuervo?
Fox: Their money spends just like any other.
Bush: Yes, but they are young and stupid. They might buy a couple of pounds of pie-oatee and have some kinda religious experience that Jerry Falwell wouldn't even understand, and that might eat into my base, savvy?
Fox: But if we waste our resources making petty busts, we will soon be in the shape that you are in with 2 million of our citizens behind bars.
Bush: Don't make me get tough on this, V'cintay. You already have twelve million of your folks on the sofa circuit in my country. And this IS my country. Don't forget that. I'm the Decider. So, scotch this dope law.
Fox: Si, El Presidente.
Bush: V'cintay?
Fox: Si, Mr. President.
Bush: Didju learn the Star Spangled Banner yet?....hehe
Fox: Not yet, but Julio Inglesias is going to come and teach it to me. And how ees the family?
Bush: That's why I'm calling, V'cintay. Laura is a little upset. And I'm upset. You see, we have two girls, twins. They are young and stupid. And now we hear that you are about to sign a law that will legalize small amounts of dope in your country, cocaine and heroin and grass and speed, you know, all the good stuff.
Fox: Yes, Mr. President, we think it will help in our enforcement effort. Plus it will be good for tourism.
Bush: I'm sure it would, V'cintay, but remember when we were in Cancun over spring break? I know we shared a few lines when we were talking about grand things like globalization and your sinsy was good too, but we are seasoned world leaders, we can handle that sort of thing. What about those kids on the beach, the ones that were buzzing on Bicardi and Jose Cuervo?
Fox: Their money spends just like any other.
Bush: Yes, but they are young and stupid. They might buy a couple of pounds of pie-oatee and have some kinda religious experience that Jerry Falwell wouldn't even understand, and that might eat into my base, savvy?
Fox: But if we waste our resources making petty busts, we will soon be in the shape that you are in with 2 million of our citizens behind bars.
Bush: Don't make me get tough on this, V'cintay. You already have twelve million of your folks on the sofa circuit in my country. And this IS my country. Don't forget that. I'm the Decider. So, scotch this dope law.
Fox: Si, El Presidente.