Does "Nigger" Offend You?
Posted: November 27th, 2006, 2:24 pm
When I was younger I was a pretty militant black kid. I read George L. Jackson and worshiped Asata Shakur as an icon. I was convinced Amiri Baraka and Sonja Sanchez had the right idea, and I felt empowered by anything I read about the struggle and perseverance of the black man... so much so that I felt it was unnecessary for me to have white friends. I believed what Malcolm X said before he went to Mecca about how the black man could never succeed in the white man's system. And the funny thing is that while I was so busy telling everyone about that, I was too blind to notice the sexist tone of that statement. Always the man and not the woman. Or perhaps I did subconsciously and felt "the black struggle" to be the greater cause of the two. Whatever the reason, I had allowed my pride and awe of these powerful black figures in history, intelligent black men and women whose lives were not centered around promoting the violent gang and drug culture of my neighborhood and ones like it, to turn me into a supremacist. I was awestruck by men and women who used history and wit, and strategy in order to push the black race to a new frontier. A better frontier. And it took a lot of time, a lot more reading and a lot of traveling to open my eyes.
No doubt there is and pretty much always has been a struggle for black people in America… but we are at the point now where it only continues b/c we allow it. We have been pacifying ourselves, ignoring the core of what those powerful black people were trying to say: stand up for yourself. Be strong. Even I had forgotten it. I would fly off the handle at any white person who looked like he or she was about to use the word “nigger” against me, then I took it home to the streets, that word. I took it home to my friends, and their friends, and my family, and my extended family. That word was as much a part of my vocabulary as any other, a term of endearment. Yet it was the same word I was afraid of in certain circumstances. Once I got over my militant phase I decided it would be better if I didn’t use the word at all. I started scolding my friends about using it. Giving my mother and father dirty looks. This went on for nearly two years… this boycott of the word “nigger”. And I felt secure that my reasons where sound enough that no one could debate w/me on them. Some of them I still believe are valid reasons today, but over time I discovered something. Once I became serious about writing, and my hobby, my passion became the artistry of words, I discovered that words are what you make of them. They really are. You give a word like that power and it rules your decisions. It changes things about you. It can in some cases ruin your life. Words have that kind of power. If they didn’t we wouldn’t use them so much.
I decided to take a new approach to the whole thing. Don’t boycott the word. Boycott the idea. Take the power out of the word. Take the violence of word. Stop being afraid of the word. Be free. If we spent nearly as much time working towards building a better foundation between the black culture and the white culture instead of arguing over a word we’d be a lot more peaceful. KKK has very little leg to stand as of now, but they have a leg, and that’s what matters. Fight that. Ask the fucking FCC why they get say the black man should be made extinct, or sent back to Africa, or ask them why Bill Bennett not only keeps his radio show after making his comment, but lands a gig at CNN soon after. Ask America why Barak Obama is the only black man in the US Senate today. Remember that the enemy is the idea, not the word. My school has little colorful circles in all the buildings that say “create change”. Create change. It’s not hard, we’ve been doing it for years. Just keep the momentum. Keep the speed.
What promoted me to write this was the vast influx of criticism I have received from some of my white friends about my use of the word in their presence. It seems strangely ironic to me that the shoe is on the other foot. Most of my friends in general are writers, hippies, liberals and artists. I go to an arts college and I’m a writer. It comes with the territory. But it definitely seems that the more my friends push for political correctness the more I am put off by it. You know what term I think is just as harsh as nigger? “African American”. Let me explain why. Yes my ancestry is in some African nation that my grandmother’s grandmother probably didn’t know, and that’s the point. I’ve never been to Africa. Nor has anyone in my family for several generations. You know where the “Scott” family hails from? Right here. Reach down and pick up some of that polluted American soil. It’s got just as much of our blood in it as any white man’s. Probably more.
If we have to talk about my ancestors, then we’ll talk about them. We’ll talk about how they tended farm, nursed the master’s children before their own, kept house, BUILT house. Now suddenly white America wants to call me an African American? No, thanks. You know why? B/c the African was beat out of mothers who spoke it to their children. Beat out of husbands who spoke it to their wives. Stripped from those who desired to bury their dead in the way they remembered. No, the “African” was taken from us along time ago… all that’s left of it is our skin, which is now a variety of shades from milky brown, to caramel, to midnight b/c along w/everything else the ancestors of white America raped the mothers and sisters and aunts of my ancestors. Now suddenly we’re called African American. It’s bullshit. I hate that term. I’d say don’t call us anything but once slaves were free white America then decided we needed race distinction to keep their half of the world clean. And no, my skin isn’t black but most people of Caucasian descent don’t have white skin either. I don’t know any black people that call themselves African American around another black person. Why hide? Be what you are, who you are. If that terms feels right, use it. If it doesn’t, say what you mean. Hiding is what has the country so fucked up and twisted now. Now I certainly didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant but I felt like I should explain myself before just posing the question. So tell me, after all that, does “nigger” offend you?
No doubt there is and pretty much always has been a struggle for black people in America… but we are at the point now where it only continues b/c we allow it. We have been pacifying ourselves, ignoring the core of what those powerful black people were trying to say: stand up for yourself. Be strong. Even I had forgotten it. I would fly off the handle at any white person who looked like he or she was about to use the word “nigger” against me, then I took it home to the streets, that word. I took it home to my friends, and their friends, and my family, and my extended family. That word was as much a part of my vocabulary as any other, a term of endearment. Yet it was the same word I was afraid of in certain circumstances. Once I got over my militant phase I decided it would be better if I didn’t use the word at all. I started scolding my friends about using it. Giving my mother and father dirty looks. This went on for nearly two years… this boycott of the word “nigger”. And I felt secure that my reasons where sound enough that no one could debate w/me on them. Some of them I still believe are valid reasons today, but over time I discovered something. Once I became serious about writing, and my hobby, my passion became the artistry of words, I discovered that words are what you make of them. They really are. You give a word like that power and it rules your decisions. It changes things about you. It can in some cases ruin your life. Words have that kind of power. If they didn’t we wouldn’t use them so much.
I decided to take a new approach to the whole thing. Don’t boycott the word. Boycott the idea. Take the power out of the word. Take the violence of word. Stop being afraid of the word. Be free. If we spent nearly as much time working towards building a better foundation between the black culture and the white culture instead of arguing over a word we’d be a lot more peaceful. KKK has very little leg to stand as of now, but they have a leg, and that’s what matters. Fight that. Ask the fucking FCC why they get say the black man should be made extinct, or sent back to Africa, or ask them why Bill Bennett not only keeps his radio show after making his comment, but lands a gig at CNN soon after. Ask America why Barak Obama is the only black man in the US Senate today. Remember that the enemy is the idea, not the word. My school has little colorful circles in all the buildings that say “create change”. Create change. It’s not hard, we’ve been doing it for years. Just keep the momentum. Keep the speed.
What promoted me to write this was the vast influx of criticism I have received from some of my white friends about my use of the word in their presence. It seems strangely ironic to me that the shoe is on the other foot. Most of my friends in general are writers, hippies, liberals and artists. I go to an arts college and I’m a writer. It comes with the territory. But it definitely seems that the more my friends push for political correctness the more I am put off by it. You know what term I think is just as harsh as nigger? “African American”. Let me explain why. Yes my ancestry is in some African nation that my grandmother’s grandmother probably didn’t know, and that’s the point. I’ve never been to Africa. Nor has anyone in my family for several generations. You know where the “Scott” family hails from? Right here. Reach down and pick up some of that polluted American soil. It’s got just as much of our blood in it as any white man’s. Probably more.
If we have to talk about my ancestors, then we’ll talk about them. We’ll talk about how they tended farm, nursed the master’s children before their own, kept house, BUILT house. Now suddenly white America wants to call me an African American? No, thanks. You know why? B/c the African was beat out of mothers who spoke it to their children. Beat out of husbands who spoke it to their wives. Stripped from those who desired to bury their dead in the way they remembered. No, the “African” was taken from us along time ago… all that’s left of it is our skin, which is now a variety of shades from milky brown, to caramel, to midnight b/c along w/everything else the ancestors of white America raped the mothers and sisters and aunts of my ancestors. Now suddenly we’re called African American. It’s bullshit. I hate that term. I’d say don’t call us anything but once slaves were free white America then decided we needed race distinction to keep their half of the world clean. And no, my skin isn’t black but most people of Caucasian descent don’t have white skin either. I don’t know any black people that call themselves African American around another black person. Why hide? Be what you are, who you are. If that terms feels right, use it. If it doesn’t, say what you mean. Hiding is what has the country so fucked up and twisted now. Now I certainly didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant but I felt like I should explain myself before just posing the question. So tell me, after all that, does “nigger” offend you?
I don't recall ever even questioning why, it was just what they were called. To be honest, as a child I don't even think I knew what the word meant, I was that naive. Well, a few years back, while at a friend's home for Christmas, who happened to be black, I spotted a lovely bowl of Brazil nuts on the table and I, awash with joyous childhood memories exclaimed, "Oh, nigger toes!" Oh my good Christ! What an absolutely stupid thing to blurt; but in my defense it was really only an innocent childhood recollection popped to the fore. Well now, whether this good woman actually ever heard me I'll never know, she never let on either way; but that innocent stupidity could have resulted in a scene of angry words and hurt feelings...and rightly so! I'd've been back pedalling into next week let me tell ya. 
