Inside Out

[sooZen]

This is something I posted on one of my blogs and for no apparent reason I can think of, I decided to post it here too. I write rarely nowdays for time is fleeting and good writing takes time that I would rather spend doing other things. But this, I wanted to share for what it is worth...((nada))...it makes the last paragraph moot, but so what...

Inside Out

Do you know what you really believe? I am not referring to what you don't believe in, man, I have plenty of those and we could start with god(s) but what do I really believe?

There are quite a few things that I think might be true such as astrology, life in outer space, animals communicating with me, stuff like that BUT those are only things I THINK might be true. I don't know them as absolutes for everyone, only for me.

That's one of the reasons I have such a problem with "religions". Any of them. They are true for the believer...I am not a believer, although I gave it a try a long time ago. To me, those things such as Jesus coming back; heaven and hell; 20 virgins for bombers; God is Good; the bible is written by a higher being; there is a higher being; IF you don't believe, you are doomed to hell; there is a Devil, etc... all that stuff is pretty much for believers...I am not a believer...not in that. So I am turning sixty and I know what I don't believe in, I know what I think is myth and magical thinking...so what DO I believe and know is my truth. (Truth is another pitfall for believers.)

Well (a deep subject?), I believe in myself...that's pretty much it, in a way. I believe in me...everything else is 'iffy' or subject to question, everyone else is subject to question.

Friends can fall by the wayside if you don't behave in a manner that suits them or follow the rules of friendship, if you disagree or are rude, or have a really bad day and they happen to get into the way. They just might not forgive you, ever.

Lovers, mates, significant others are subject to vagaries too and you might fall off their acceptable mate behavior list and end up curbside. I have seen plenty of so-called stable relationships hit the dirt after many years of apparent bliss...it might just end on the last straw.

I do believe in forgiveness, treating others as one would like to be treated, kindness and compassion for all for I also believe that we are all connected on a physical level...we are star stuff. This ain't no hippie-dippie mumbo-jumbo...we are all connected on a molecular level, beyond emotion, beyond belief. We are born, we live, we die and we may live on on another level because you can't destroy matter. I dunno about a lot of things...and anyone that tells me they have the answer, well, I have to question it ALL.

Some may say, well, "you believe in zen, you call yourself a zennist, isn't that some kind of buddhist religion?" Nope, zen is not a religion, it isn't a matter of belief or faith or a book of spells or anything close to that. It is a matter of contemplation of self...there is no god, only dog and what IS right now for that matter is all that there is... There is a lot of bullshit in this world and zen is subject to it too. 'Flavor of the month' stuff, 'zen is in' stuff but I have been contemplating zen (and myself) since Cecil enlightened me about it when I was about twenty. I know what higher levels of thought can be although attaining them is quite tricky and maintaining them downright near impossible...but I digress...

This blog is not called Zen Upchuck for no apparent reason, I do reason that I can puke out what I want here. Mostly because I am just a little clog in the blog-o-sphere and no one really gives a poop-poop-a-doop what I write, except me, really...that's what I believe in...me.

[judih]

hey i give a poop-poop-a-doop and i raise you a doop.

i believe that only i can change my world. That's about it.
oh and love. i know love is real.

thanks, soo, for bringing your blog here. my links aren't what they used to be.

[sooZen]

oh how I know you do give a poop and that has meant mucho to me all these years (has it been years now?) Thanks...I can never say it enough.

I think of LOVE as a given...but it never hurts to say it (arguably)

Yes Love!

[westcoast]

love it and you. me is all i believe in. pure pleasure is what i know.

wonderful writing and wisdom shared...soozen

thank u

~westcoast

[sooZen]

no, thank you for that.

i don't know the name or the face but i must know you.

SooZ

[stilltrucking]

I believe in friendship

guilty pleasure of mine the Travis McGee novels.
a line in one of them about what is a friend.
"a friend is someone you can say any tom fool thing to and still remain freinds" quote from memory



Thinking about something j wrote about religion a long time ago

"religion is about belonging, men to right, women to the left" quote from memory.

[sooZen]

"a friend is someone you can say any tom fool thing to and still remain friends"

That is surely what a friend is and unfortunately sometimes I am the tom foolery kind so some so called friends have come and gone south for I am most likely to speak my mind, like it or not (they didn't.)

I am blessed to have some that just look at me and shrug or laugh, the best kind. Lately, I must be particularly obnoxious though and am paying the price of karma for it must be paid. Energy moves.

thanks for the insight.

now as to this,

"religion is about belonging, men to right, women to the left"

I don't know what that means.

[judih]

hi Soo

That quote:
"religion is about belonging, men to right, women to the left"

is something i wrote. Islam, Hinduism, and Orthodox Judaism divide the sexes in their houses of worship. I've watched as people humbly entered, surrendering to the rule. They belonged - women on one side, men on the other.
It's an image that humbles me - how people succumb to this idea: that unisex is somehow more fitting in a house of worship, than all of us together.

and i could go on, but won't!
great to watch this thread grow and wander.

[sooZen]

Hi ju...my tomorrow is your today...you are one tricky lady.

now I get it...sadly and that is one of my problems (of many) that I have with organized religions to be sure is the equalizing penile
qualities of them. I may be crucified. Hah!

I guess the Dalai is about to say goodbye speaking of religions. Hell in a handbasket badly woven or something. Goodbye Dalai, really nice knowing you. This is a hard world for peaceful people. Peace out...i guess.

yes, i love the texture of this thread. really nice to 'talk' to an old and dear too! Let us ramble on...maybe i'll fire some new synapse's tonight as my brain could use a light. Got a match?

[stilltrucking]

In Mobius there is no inside out



mobius earring

I was raised in the Church of Freud, my holy trinity the ego, super ego, and id.

[sooZen]

Wow...great link jack (and equally great earrings)

Do you remember a poem over on the kicks by jota called "Inside Out Girll"? or something to that effect? (It was amazing as much of his poetry is. I bet you of all people could dig it up.) Our interiors are probably too graphic for viewing and one takes a leap in trying to expose them and others are only too willing to do it for us.

There really is no inside or out i must agree as it is just another duality that we humans created. The art of Escher comes to mind where everything is in the eye of the beholder and one image changes into another.

One of the things I like to construct are mobiles where with every turn, a different view.

Freud had his flaws ( ) but he did cause us to 'think' There are layers upon layers in the inner uni(one/multi)verse.

Saw a great show on PBS last night on the plasticity of the brain and that even into old age we can create new neurons by challenging and exercising grey matter or we can just sit and do nothing and decline...i think I (BIG I) would like to do the former. The bottom line is we must get up and move, we must take care of our hearts, we must do things that are difficult, we must be willing to constantly change...or die in old age with a shriveled noggin, wondering where the bathroom is... (I am always wondering if there is one nearby.)

[stilltrucking]

I bet you of all people could dig it up.) Our interiors are probably too graphic for viewing and one takes a leap in trying to expose them and others are only too willing to do it for us.

I will check it out.

Blackberry Winter, margaret mead was not a one hit wonder, yes she made a few mistakes too
Blackberry Winter her autobiograhy
if I had a grandaughter I would gift a copy to her.
I think of freud these days as more of a cultural anthropologist than a physician. Freud was a suicide, doctor assisted, but I don't think it was the penis envy that drove him too it.

I am looking for the jota story.

Our interiors are probably too graphic for viewing and one takes a leap in trying to expose them and others are only too willing to do it for us.

Yeah I suppose I do sound like a presidential candidate. Confession is good for the soul. I suppose that is why I like Anne Sexton's poetry so much. She another suicide, a martyr to the priests of freudianism.

I am looking for the jota poem no luck yet
I threw a brick at Jota once
well obsidian words
I suppose that is an occupational hazzard of being a poet.

gentle jota
saw a post from him some where
not litkicks
here
http://postertoaster.blogspot.com/

[stilltrucking]

I have not found the poem
but I found this

I have thrown bricks at Cecil too.

by mtmynd on March 03, 2003 16:08:00
The first poem to make me weep:
"The Easy Ballad of Arthur Burrows" - by Litkicks own, Jota.

http://www.litkicks.com/msgArchive.php?message=396180

The Easy Ballad of Arthur Burrows
Amended many times fifty years after in 2000, 2001
http://www.litkicks.com/msgArchive.php?message=27943

.
sorry for the diression
it barely relates to your topic
just a digression to a jota poem
and kind people



Inside out
I drank the koo aid
I got no where left to hide

I don't know how I wound up like this
I was born to follow
Not go my own way.

Inside in outside out
Nothing to hide
No reflection in the mirror
transparent as a pane of glass

I think I am done now.

[sooZen]

jack, i don't think you are done at all...

i know the jota poem was somewhere on action poetry. you are always digging up something, like my beautiful dog Yogi except he has nothing to show for his digging. hah. I am amazed at your ability to remember...i don't have that kind of memory. I could never memorize stuff in school that i was supposed to.

if you find it LMK and if you don't, no matter. Empty mind says that jota is still around occasionally, so i see that you proved it. now it is a fact.

Freud...Empty liked Freud but he was young and full of stuff at the time and had that big head. hehheh.

i must check into that biography of Margaret Mead, especially since you would gift your granddaughter with it if you had one.

[stilltrucking]

One phrase from jota that bounces around in my head from time to time is this.

"Language is a bitch with an ice pick."

Margaret Meade, how many millions of time have you read the bit
"Yes you are absolutley unique, just like every one else"
We say it like yeah big deal you are special so what.

I would probably better give Black Berry Winter to my imaginary grandson when he discovers girls. Tell him here is a little insight into how an intelligent clear thinking woman choses her mate and among other insights she offered about men and women.

This bit here I got to get back to you on it, I need to type up some notes on Bertrand Russell, a very clear thinker also

We are born, we live, we die and we may live on on another level because you can't destroy matter. I dunno about a lot of things...and anyone that tells me they have the answer, well, I have to question it ALL.

You have no idea how happy i am see you here again
no bullshit SooZen,
makes me feel safe
from my own vanity.