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A Glimpse of Fashion

Posted: April 4th, 2005, 2:43 pm
by e_dog
BEHOLD! The age of the female ass crack.

The combination of low cut jeans
and high cut, midriff-exposing tops
-- a holy convergence of style --
has made possible for the first time
in human civilization
a situation in which the female of the species
partially bares the top of her bottom,
otherwise covered by clothing,
with greater frequency than the male.
It is like an astrological alignment
of the stars.

What used to be the province
of parcel delivery men
and hairy plumbers
has been taken over by young co-eds
seated on a bench or the grass.

But, ye scientific observers and
casual onlookers, do not take my word for it!
Go out and see for yourself: visit any
collegiate campus or shopping mall
to view with your own eyes
this rare, and emphemeral,
cultural event.

Posted: April 4th, 2005, 2:56 pm
by Doreen Peri
You, sir, are one of the most clever & witty writers I know and your unique descriptions stick in my head.

Female butt cracks all the rage?

My goodness! You are quite the observer! ;)

enjoyed this piece much

Posted: April 4th, 2005, 3:02 pm
by e_dog
i should note, for reasons of epistemological propriety, that the field of observation has been limited to California. I have not received any confirming reports from the East Coast yet, I predict that as the weather warms, this phenomenon will makes its appearance there as well.

Posted: April 6th, 2005, 8:29 am
by sooZen
Hah!

This seems to be true although I am not sure that it is a first in human history although it may be. I cannot seem to remember a time in anthropology where the female of the human species exposed a portion of her ass crack for whatever reason so this may be truly a new phenomena. In other species, exposing the buttocks was a sure sign that the females were ready and willing. Maybe the young women (this is only sightly in young women) are finally ready for whatever... heh? Anyway, I am sure that men are more than happy about the new trends. I always thought that drooping 'drawers' made it a lot harder to run for safety when the need arises hence my befuddlement at the trend of young men to let their pants hang midway to their knees. Have you ever tried to run with your pants down? :wink:

Peace,
SooZen

Posted: April 6th, 2005, 8:59 am
by judih
i want to confirm upper ass-crack sitings over here in Israel. Yes, at least in the Western Negev, this phenomenon has been spotted.

Posted: April 6th, 2005, 10:36 am
by panta rhei
here too -
from north sea to black forest, ass cracks shine and freeze in the cold breezes, most of them crowned with a horizontally crescent shaped tribal tatoo.

as for me, i prefer to keep my kidneys warm and covered.

Posted: April 6th, 2005, 12:38 pm
by mousey1
Ha Ha Ha! Thanks for this laugh edog! :lol:


Alass, I must confirm, that here too in the frozen north sightings are all too frequent. The young girls smile coming and going.

The men too but in a leering sort of way!

I yen for the return of suspenders, tightly clinched suspenders.

Paris Hilton was my first glimpse and how I wish I'd never seen.....she was tuggin' and pullin' on her pants to hoist the flag from half masst, a lesson in futility.

Posted: April 7th, 2005, 11:39 am
by Lightning Rod
I guess I'm going to have to break down and go to the mall
(a place I usually never frequent)
for a little sight seeing

Posted: April 7th, 2005, 12:27 pm
by ZyzxzxzyZ
Yeah i've noted dat tendency among LA grrls--usually their thong (black or red) is sliding up out of their hip huggies and there is some dread tat above the crack, wings of some sort, butterflies, eagle, or perhaps bat. If they have a pager ridin' on their jeans, tho, you do best to avoid 'em.
Puede ser una muestra de La Gran Puta.

Posted: April 8th, 2005, 10:50 pm
by hester_prynne
I say it's about time!

I like variety in fashion, and I've been tired for a long time of the big-sweaty-hairy-butt crack-lobbing-out-of-shaggy-sweat-pants look.

Perhaps it will inspire a little more artistic sensitivity for those that are into bodily exhibits of the butt crack. Myself, I avoid this fashion, because the drafts irritate my roids....

H 8)

Posted: April 21st, 2005, 10:58 pm
by e_dog
Postscript, After the Most Recent Sighting

I wanna thank the guy
who designed the pattern
-- no, the girl, it must have been a girl
who is sitting somewhere now
laughing, getting her secret revenge.