What am I missing here?

[jimboloco]

That is all ok
but because I have something nice to say
don't think I am coddling or enabling anybody.

Deb, it appears as tho some folks here have a beef with you.
It has nada to do with your specific opinion on any issue, but more to do with your style of interacting. You can alienate people and they are giving you some feedback.

I have to respect the consistency and intensity of their feelings and perceptions. So you might want to try and distill some of it.

like on the other thread about the home town ad-hoc war memorials,
you didn't like Jack's remorsefullofslights and feints, and I can understand. He pulled that slipshot on me, too. But hey, it doesn't realy work so well if ya get incensed and tell him to get off yer thread. Seriously. Cause whatever he said, his culpability or demeaner, you was de meaner. I mean, let him exasperate ya. Be like the bamboo, tensile and bending. Too stiff and unbending and you will break. in friendship
Ya might try another tack. You are getting some feedback here. It's a good opportunity to learn something.


Mowsy wowsy
puddin and pie
ver·si·fied the boyz
and made 'em cry

[mnaz]

My replies have been too cryptic at times on this thread, but mousey has it about right, I think.

To explain: In Deb's world, only she has the right to use a hurtful, abusive tone and disrespect and smear the character of others and call them names in self-righteous indignation over issues where said others are too unaware in Deb's view (which is infallible and absolutely correct at all times by definition according to Deb, if her righteous indignation exceeds a certain self-defined level).... the issue in question here being (ironically) the matter itself of disrespecting and smearing the character of others and calling them names.

Hence my assessment: "hypocrite".

[stilltrucking]

look jimboloco
say it
say it straight
why you bringing me in to this

what has it go to do with me
I asked deb about six times
wont did i say
what did I say that offended her
i finaly got her to tell me
and I appoologized
but she fucked wiiht my head for a couple days
I can hardly type my hands are shaking so bad now

what is your malfunction
and why do you keep fucking with me
i got the adrenasllin shakes lright now

why do you keep doinng this to me

why jimbo
does it have anything to do with dr cohen???????????

[Doreen Peri]

Jimbo said

Deb, it appears as tho some folks here have a beef with you.
It has nada to do with your specific opinion on any issue, but more to do with your style of interacting. You can alienate people and they are giving you some feedback.

It is not because of her style of interacting, Jimbo, that people have a beef with Deb.

It IS about her opinion on an issue.

It's about the fact that Deb has expressed her opinion about people. She has judged people and called them by name and stated what her judgments were.... all derogatory, and all without apology, because she doesn't feel she owes anyone an apology. She has clearly stated that she feels she has every right to make judgments about people and that she feels her judgments are valid.

So, because others were judged by her, it seems some people here feel she deserves also to be judged.... for being so judgmental and so non-apologetic.

Frankly, I think that's a justified beef. And in my opinion it has everything to do with her specific opinion.

My opinion is that I wish none of this happened but if everybody gets something from it, that's a good thing.

I've gotten a headache from it all, myself. And I feel like locking the thread at this point. But it's the same in my real life. When I am around too much conflict, I shut down and get away from it... as quickly as possible. I can't do it. It grates on my nerves to participate in it and if I've tried everything to make it end and it won't, I just go to my room and lock the door.

[Totenkopf]

I surely hope Deb has not become so control-freakish that she would suggest that Imus doesn't have a right to make a few scandalous jokes. Better some Imus than stalinist-statist control of communication.

[Doreen Peri]

Actually, that's what she's already stated. Jokes that aren't funny shouldn't be spoken, she said. And anyone who thinks they're funny are bigots. Scroll up.

[mousey1]

Jimbo, I realize you were just being kind. Looking for a positive in the midst of some negative. And normally that is a good thing. Unfortunately Deb latched onto that and began to ignore everyone else's comments. Comments that perhaps held some truths she couldn't see or just didn't want to deal with. I can't of course know for sure.

I appreciate your comments immensely. I do see what you're saying jimbo and yes that is a big part of it. But of course Deb can communicate here however she wants to. My main point is that I don't think we're doing her or anyone else any favors by not clearly and concisely highlighting her bad behavior. She seems to latch onto only what she wants to see. She takes it and processes it to suit herself. You told her in a kind way that she was like the little girl with the curl who when she was bad she was horrid. Deb seemed to stick out her chest quite proudly at that. Acting horrid is nothing to laugh and giggle about, Deb.

She claims to want honesty, well yes then, I'll give it to her. I can only hope she'll actually hear what I'm trying to say and not twist it. That's the difficulty faced.

stilltrucking I think what jimbo's saying here is that Deb pulled a similar thing on you, which she did indeed. Jimbo loves you man. He ain't on your ass. I think you're reading more into his comments than you're meant to. Relax, you're not at issue here. Just breathe.

mnaz I don't think you were cryptic. I think you were pretty clear. Deb has a way of turning a healthy open discussion upside down with her need to aim it in the direction she wants it to go. If it's important to her that's all that matters, that her side is heard loud and clear is all that matters. No one here defended Imus' actions, they defended the man, they tried to show he was a decent human being, a human being with character flaws and foibles yes, but not a complete waste of skin. I watched her burst in and twist it all out of proportion. She wasn't really listening. She did sound like a hypocrite. When you do the same thing as the person you are criticizing it is hypocritical. She practically peed her pants with glee. She left me shaking my head.

And yes, we are all capable of being hypocritical. But when someone takes us to task about it should we puff out our breast and tail plumage and strut. Deb seemed to be doing that. Maybe she wasn't truly, but that's how she came across and her stubborn refusal to see and admit that she has wrongfully besmirched some people makes me question her motives.

She can behave as badly as she wants to, but I'm going to call her on it when she does. Just like Imus had to answer for his verbal indiscretions so should Deb. Life's fair like that. Just because you hide your head in the sand doesn't mean you won't take a few well deserved darts in the ass. Deb tends to revel in her mean-spiritedness and justify it. Mean is as mean does and if she is incapable of seeing it I will attempt to point it out to her. I'm sure she'll be more than willing to return the favor. I won't run from it. But neither will I let her twist my meanings.

Doreen I don't like confrontations either. But I like even less that Deb skedaddles scot-free, and worse than that seems to gloat remorselessly and with mirth here in a thread where she sullied some good names.

She acted like a turd.

I'm just being honest Doreen. Deb likes honesty she says. I do think though that actions do speak louder than words. Her turning a blind eye to anything that paints her in a bad light fairly shouts that she's not quite as tickled with other people's honesty as she is with her own.

I'm sorry Doreen if I'm causing you some upset.

Do as you deem fit to maintain the peace, Doreen. But my honesty toward Deb shall flow whenever I happen to come into contact with her. I won't follow her about, I'm a bit flighty that way, but if I do notice her twisting someone's intents I shall be sure to draw it to her attention. No sweet little lies and molly coddling. I shall be forthright.

I ain't always right but I ain't always wrong either.

[mnaz]

Actually Doreen, I think it's a bit stronger and more prejudiced than that on Deb's part, if I read correctly. Deb said, or at least strongly implied that anyone who tuned in to watch the show with any regularity and found it amusing in any way, shape or form (or defended Imus in any way, shape, or form) must be a "bigot" by definition (hers). Except she did not call Jimbo a bigot, despite the fact that Jimbo watched the show "plenty" (and found it amusing at times). Another contradictory stance.

[stilltrucking]

you didn't like Jack's remorsefullofslights and feints, and I can understand. He pulled that slipshot on me, too.

This ain't about me mousey1. Sorry I am out of this.
so far jimbo has said on this string that I am a latent racist, I have no reverence, and I full of treachery. or what ever a got dam slipshot means.


all the time deb was flamming me I kept asking her for a clue as to what I said, and she come back with "no jack I ain't taking the bait"



mnaz you got a lot of class,

[whimsicaldeb]

IMO, all the heat is about the fact that not only did I speak opinions, I included opinions about 3 others on this board that are deeply cared for by everyone here ... and now the pressure's on for me to apologize.

And in some cases: apologize "or else"

I suppose I could give into the pressures; but wouldn't you prefer that if/when this were to happen, it would be real? I think so. Certainly if I were on the receiving end, I'd what it to be real - truly felt and not just lip service, or offered with strings attached.

So, wait for it ...
but be prepared for the possibility that it may never arrive.

[stilltrucking]

you end every one of your rants with the same shit deb
I count four or five people you have pulled this on.

no wait six people over the past year.
not just on this string deb

and I may be the only one who had it coming.

[Doreen Peri]

IMO, all the heat is about the fact that not only did I speak opinions, I included opinions about 3 others on this board that are deeply cared for by everyone here ... and now the pressure's on for me to apologize.

Deb.... Even if I didn't know hester and cecil and sooZ personally (which in a way, I don't! I've NEVER met them in person, so how can I truly know them, right?) ... But even if they were people who had never ever before posted here other than in this thread, I would feel you owe them an apology. Why? Because the words you posted about them were accusatory and belittling.

Those words may be your opinion, but in my opinion, opinions like that shouldn't be shared in public and if you want to share them privately, that's up to you, but be aware that those you accuse with negative remarks may decide to answer to your accusations.

And if you share negative accusatory remarks about other people in public, you should be aware that those who are reading your words will also react to your statements.

[mnaz]

... I included opinions about 3 others on this board...

Nope. You hurled rather direct and mean-spirited personal attacks and accusations at people you don't know, with virtually no real evidence to support the accusations, and based solely on your snap judgments and arbitrary "definitions" of who deserves such treatment (which you applied selectively and inconsistently), which we're all supposed to just accept as the absolute last word and moral authority on everything because you said so, period.

And in some cases: apologize "or else"

Nope. In fact, don't bother. A bit late for that anyway.

~in peace~

[Doreen Peri]

There's no "apologize or else," Deb. I donno where you got that from. Or else what?

From what I'm reading here, people just want to forgive you and move on but you're right, without a sincere apology, what's to forgive? If it's insincere, it would be obvious and wouldn't mean anything.

"All we can ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry"- Me

[mousey1]

No, Deb, there is no "apologize or else". How can there possibly be an or else? You do and say what you want, but it is only right that you be called on it. Taken to task for bad actions. Just as Imus was.

Doreen won't ban you if that's what you mean. Give her more credit please. She simply wants peace.

And you are sadly mistaken if you think it's because your comments were aimed at people "deeply cared about". I would feel exactly the same if you did this to anyone here. As a matter of fact you have done so to others here, and speaking only for me, I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. But Deb there's a real pattern emerging here. You do this sort of forceful thing to quite a few, by that I mean cramming your words and thoughts into their mouths and minds. You tend to tell people what they mean. Well fine, go ahead and do that, I'm just telling you that from now on when I see you being what I think is unjust I will call your attention to it. Because maybe you are just not seeing it.

Your display of laughing good humor while you were lighting people's asses on fire, unjustly, does not sit well with me.

We can all give our opinions here. You can also continue to ignore adverse opinion aimed at you. But ignored or not it shall still be voiced.