Help wanted - Need your advice

[Doreen Peri]

OK. I'm in a quandary.

I have people emailing me saying they want to leave this board because it's not moderated enough.

And I have other people emailing me and telling me that I shouldn't have deleted a post.... that they can handle whatever comes their way.... that they won't be back because my hand is too heavy moderating this board.

I don't get it.

I don't know what to do.

I've tried to create a NICE place to visit and hang out and talk about the arts. I can't be a babysitter to these boards and read every post. I can't make subjective decisions about which posts are OK and which are not OK in EVERYBODY's eyes.

I need help.

Please tell me what to do.

Should I establish set rules and regulations and hire moderators to enforce them?

Anybody got any advice?

How can I keep EVERYBODY happy?

Maybe I wasn't cut out for this business.

[judih]

for moderation, there's litkicks
for no moderation, there's freedom hall (is there? i hope)

i love this board the way it is.


judih

[Doreen Peri]

Thanks, judih. I'm very glad you like it here.

Yes, there's still a Freedom Hall. And I assume there is still a Litkicks, though I don't know firsthand.

But what do I do to make everybody happy when it comes to the level of moderation here?

What would you do if you got emails from people who say there isn't enough moderation and so they are leaving and not coming back, and also emails that say that there is way too much moderation and that I shouldn't have deleted a post and so they are leaving and not coming back?

These emails are signs to me that maybe I'm not doing something right.

I need input from the community in regards to how to handle this. I don't want people leaving this place because of how it's operated. I would LOVE it if it could just operate itself.... But apparently, it doesn't work that way.

I really don't know what to do.

Any advice from you and everyone else would be appreciated.

[judih]

doreen
in my opinion you have to run the place to suit yourself.

some people want more moderation - there's arcanum
some people want less - that's up to you.

If people want to leave, that's up to them.

From what i've seen, you moderate by asking people to cut out the personal attacks. When that doesn't happen, action to cut them out takes place. At least that's how i see it.

Last evening (my time) i deleted one or maybe 2 (?) posts, but i told the member what i'd done and why and suggested that further deletions should be unnecessary. That's how it should work.

i don't believe in censorship because of viewpoint, but i do believe that in a poetry thread, the contents should be poetic. A private message can be used to steer the conversation. Deletion is a last resort (as you have always said).

Whoever chooses to leave because content offends them can leave. Why not?
Perhaps they'll come back when they can handle your board.

Life goes this way and that - there's never one quiet stream of constant input.
This reminds me of a friend who keeps her son away from inappropriate TV or books. The child is now 14 and barely able to mix together with kids his own age (and i don't mean street gang kids - but rather regular kids).

Don't over moderate. For goodness' sake.
Members of the Studio sometimes have temper tantrums or say something that hits someone the wrong way - members need to be able to work it out, without Mama or Papa stepping in.

judih

[Doreen Peri]

Thanks, judih.

I never want to ever delete people. I never have.

I did delete multiple troll names. Over and over and over. Because the trolling was for one purpose... to disrupt the boards with attacks. So, that didn't take much thinking. It was clear as day what the intention was, so the names were deleted.

But I've never deleted a real person. I don't call the trolling episodes "real people."

I do ask people to be nice to each other, yes. I don't like personal attacks. I don't want to read them on the internet and I don't allow them in my *real* personal life.

Here's my take on it. Maybe this will work.

"Take it out back." That means, if a member has a problem with another member, they can use email or any chat program to argue it out. It needs to be taken OFF the site. Out back.

At Arcanum, they have it set up so that each board has moderators plus members can "report this post." I can't imagine all the work it takes to do things the way they do. When someone has a problem with a post, they move the entire discussion into a private area where the moderators talk about it for days, sometimes. I just can't imagine analyzing a conversation for that long. Opinions are subjective. What one person thinks is OK another doesn't. I already invest many hours a week in this forum, on top of my regular work and trying to develop the main site. I don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't want to spend it that way.

I never wanted to be an internet mother or any type of authoritarian figure. I'm just me. I want to write and talk about the arts. It's a precarious position I'm in.

I can see deleting a post if someone has been asked not to attack people and continues doing it. I have done that and explained why I did it.

I think I got in over my head. I thought all I'd have to do was push "install" on the software and set up the names of the boards and people would come and enjoy themselves. I'm a ditz. After all the years I've spent on the internet and all I've seen at other communities, you'd think I'd have been aware that there would be complaints about posts and that I would have to deal with them.

I think the decision I'm about to come to is this..... "Take it out back" will be the key words. That will be the final decision.

If you or any of the other moderators or anybody, for that matter, see posts where people are verbally abusing each other, could you please use that terminology? Just say, "Take it out back." That says that the members need to work it out OFF the boards.

I thought about setting up a forum called "Take it out back" but I think that would be encouraging attacks to remain on this board and I don't want that.

Maybe I'll set this as the only rule. If someone is told to "Take it out back," they will need to stop attacking each other on this board right away. If attacks continue, the posts will be deleted.

What do you think of this idea, judih?

Does anybody else have an opinion?

All this stuff gives me a headache. I can't believe how much time I've invested in all this. LR just shakes his head.

Your TV and book analogy was a good one, judih. Thanks for the conversation and for your input.

And thanks for listening. Sorry for rambling.

[Dave The Dov]

Oh you're not rambling dp!!!! I like how you handle this place!!!! I'm staying for sure!!!!
_________________
Honda CBR125RR

[judih]

"Take it out back" works for me

judih (and yah, i can say those words if the time should ever come)

[sonofthesun]

fock the naysayers, they can just keep eatin shite , it just goes along with their grin


sorry for the obsenities, i just enjoy em, and um, havent really explored too much, but....im sure whats happenin here is more honest than that other place.....and many others.
may all your endeavors be fruitfull,
love marcus(a fellow virginite)

[stilltrucking]

This is your garden, gardens need weeding, I know I have plenty of weed, so you know what they say herbage and verbage. It is a compulsive thing for me to open a text box and just start writting. I could open a word processor first and spell check and let bill G. correct my grammar, but I like the feeling of working without a net. Just let the chips fall where they may. (with me those chips are mostly cow chips)

Utah Phillips Moose Chip Pie,

but by god it was good

This place is so cool
Wild Horses could not drag me away.

[Lucy!]

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on building such a welcoming and openminded website as this. I LOVE this community!
I love the freedom and the people and the ideas that germinate from this fertile cyber soil

Secondly, tastes are subjective and opinions will be thrown about wherever there are people. We as humans have quite the evolved complaining gene and we know how to use it.

Your idea of "taking it out back" seems just about right to me. I stand by it and agree wholeheartedly with this motto. If its not respected, there are consequences.

You can't please everybody all the time. And you can't try to. If a person doesn't like the site as it is, well too bad. This is how it is. You don't like it, nobody is forcing you to stay. Stop complaining about something you can't change- if you hate it so much, go find some place that suits your needs. End of story.

I love the site, what you've done to it and how you've run it. In many ways I wish you could perhaps even out the work somehow so there isn't so much pressure on your shoulders....

You are a wonderful person, creative and innovative. Keep doing what you're doing, you have done a great job.

Lucy-

[STUPID BOB]

I talked to Pop about this a little bit. I think pointing to Freedom Hall for the crap shooters is a bit off. The nice thing about your "out back" idea is that I don't ever have to go there if I don't want to. But you already have Flames and Dumpster. I don't see why if you want to moderate. I personally think no censorship is the way to go but I also know that the Troll can arise anywhere from anyone. A question of balance doe-doe. Love you anyhoo u dooo.

[Lucy!]

I agree with you Stupid Bob- I don't believe in censorship, although I'm not crazy about things being all over the place. I like balance and equality, and I am fair and open with others, even if I don't personally believe in what they do. However, there are times where things can get out of hand, and in these cases, I definitely think there should be someone saying "take it out back".

[billectric]

I'll fall back on what I always say. When you create something, whether it be a poem, novel, painting, song, or website, you have to make it what you would like to see. Others will like it. Not everyone, necessarily, but people who have the same likes as you.

[perezoso]

man, you are a deep one

[shamatha1]

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