Da Biotch is BACK! Ask Lucy our resident Advice Columnist!

[Doreen Peri]

Check out Lucy's advice column... scroll down the page to Columnists in the Member Forums .... She's our returning Columnist!

Welcome back, Lucy!

Go ahead and... Ask the Biotch!

Yo! Biotch! I gotta problem. I'll be posting it down there in a few minutes. I know you'll be able to help me with this.

Yo! Watz good yo
So I be da rezedenshal advice columnist fo diz piece, so shut up and listen
You gots problems
Talk to diz biotch
I be da one who be talkin mad loud up in da bus with dem cell phones dat dont work cuz dey cheap
Im the fuhsheezee of all the fuhshizzles
Listen yo
Want to lose wait?
Who da fuk dont?
You gots problems wit yo man?
turn to diz 411
before callin 911
You got a foot stink?
I tell you to shower yo stank azz
Havin' trouble wit English?
I teach you how to rite like dem Shakespeare dawgs
Im da real poet up in diz hole webcite yo
shhhoot
Diz biotch done got her PHD in cozmeteology
specialized in trimming yo woman's mustache wit my grandmama's toenail clippers
yeah son and wat
shhoot
You been called a skank ho?
so wat me too
shhoot
woman cain't make an honest livin no mo widout somebody trippin all over her sheit
You gots a drinkin problem?
Give me yo address and HOOK IT UP
You done lost yo sanity?
I call my man Mike Tyson to knock some cents into yo sorry azz

Yo
Ask diz biotch
I dun know wats goin down son

-Mz. I. Knowmysheit-

[Steve Plonk]

Hey, Lucy, welcome back. (Hey, you were here way before I was.) Your mess looks mighty "spankedelic" to me. Keep up the great posts.

[Doreen Peri]

You should hear her do it live! She entertained us improv-style ad lib in my hotel room at the Algonquin Hotel in NYC.

25 people crammed into a 10x12 room after our performance at the Bowery Poetry Club... Lucy had as all laughing so hard, our sides hurt, our eyes teared up! She was onna roll. The girl should be on Comedy Central.