Top Ten Ways to Improve the Presiden't Poll Ratings

[Lightning Rod]

With the president's approval ratings in the potty, memos are circulating in the White House about ways to improve them. Here are some intercepts from those memos written by the brilliant thinkers in the inner circle.


Top Ten Ways that G.W. Bush can improve his poll ratings.

10. Release those photos of Scooter Libby and Karl Rove having sex in a Washington bath house.

9. Declare war on something....anything.

8. After giving his buddies at Exxon the green light to drill in Alaska, he should import a small herd of caribou and let them graze on the White House lawn and claim he is protecting wildlife.

7. Make an appearance on Comedy Central or do an ad for Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

6. Hang out more with Arnold or invade a small country. Hell, just invade California.

5. Stage an assassination attempt. You know, get a Special Forces sharpshooter to just 'wing' him so he could give speeches wearing a sexy sling on one arm.

4. Get Coors Beer to sponsor a website featuring the twins in sister-on-sister porno shots.

3. Have Laura check in to the Betty Ford Center. (sympathy vote)

2. Tell the truth once in a while.

1. Resign

[jimboloco]

The George Dubya Bush Song Book

[the flaming ace]

2. Tell the truth once in a while.

1. Resign

crash n burn, dumbya baby

[stilltrucking]

1) Join the National Guard again
2) Get saved again
3) Make all his speeches in Urdu
4) Walk across the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln in his underwear.
5) Get a Mohawk
6) Have his nipples pierced
7) Challenge Osama to a duel
8 ) Do a guest appearance on The Fear Factor
9) Surrender to Canada and seek political asylum
10) Impeach himself
11) Legalize pot.

[jimboloco]

he could get a blow job by lorena bobbitt