Religion and Politics (funny and scary, too)

[e_dog]

Forward, source unknown. read on.


>Dear President Bush,

>

>Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to
educate

>people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and

>understand why you would propose and support a constitutional
amendment

>banning same sex marriage.

>

>As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a
woman." I


>try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone

>tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind
them


>that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of

>debate.

>

>However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements
of

>God's Laws and how best to follow them.

>

>1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female,

>provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine

>claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify?

>Why can't I own Canadians?

>

>2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus

>21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?

>

>3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her

>period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do
I

>tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

>

>4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a

>pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They

>claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

>

>5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2.

>clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill

>him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

>

>

>6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an

>abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I

>don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

>

>7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a

>defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my

>vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

>

>8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair

>around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27.


>How should they die?

>

>9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me

>unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

>

>10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different

>crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two

>different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
curse

>and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble

>of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we


>just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with
people

>who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

>

>I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy

>considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can
help.

>

>Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.