old tv show

[Doreen Peri]

"Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not
scripted.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

[bennie2]

Some of these were great!

there's a UK TV show that's been going for years, Family Fortunes. I'm sure there's a US version too. "we asked a hundred members of the public to name something read..." and you have to guess what the most common response would be. the host says, "we asked a hundred members of the public to name something read. You said 'my cardigan', our survey said..."

haha.

Real Family Fortunes responses

Q. Name a famous brother and sister
A. Bonnie & Clyde

Q. Name a dangerous race
A. The Arabs

Q. Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A. A horse

Q. Name something that floats in the bath
A. Water

Q. Name something you wear on the beach
A. A deckchair

Q. Name something Red
A. My cardigan

Q. Name a famous royal
A. Mail

Q. Name a number you have to memorise
A. 7

Q. Name something in the garden that's green
A. Shed

Q. Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A. A bicycle with wings

Q. Name something you might be allergic to
A. Skiing

Q. Name a famous bridge
A. The bridge over troubled waters

Q. Name something a cat does
A. Goes to the toilet

Q. Name something you do in the bathroom
A. Decorate

Q. Name an animal you might see at the zoo
A. A dog

Q. Name something associated with the police
A. Pigs

Q. Name a sign of the zodiac
A. April

Q. Name something slippery
A. A conman

Q. Name a kind of ache
A. Fillet 'O' Fish (?)

Q. Name a food that can be brown or white
A. Potato

Q. Name a jacket potato topping
A. Jam

Q. Name a famous Scotsman
A. Jock

Q. Name something with a hole in it
A. Window

Q. Name a non-living object with legs
A. Plant

Q. Name a domestic animal
A. Leopard

Q. Name a part of the body beginning with 'N'
A. Knee

Q. Name a way of cooking fish
A. Cod

Q. Name something you open other than a door
A. Your bowels