CHEMISTRY TEST

[Zlatko Waterman]

(Apology: The first version of this I posted still had some of the e-mail "pathologies" of typesetting, since I got it in an e-mail from a college colleague. This version reads a little better, after I jogged the type . . .)


Chemistry Exam


The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[stilltrucking]

one of those internet stories that makes me hope it is true.

I wonder what that student was doing in a chemistry class.

Not related to anything, but I picked up The Bell Jar today.
The part where Esther talks the Prof out of taking anymore chem classes. I think maybe she should of took another course in it.

That was a great story, I am going to believe it, because I need to. It made me happy to read it.


I suppose I am stereotyping chemistry students. No reason why someone with a mind like that should not be taking a chemistry class.. In the early seventies around college park when there was talk of revolution in the air, of all people that I met in the anti-war demonstrations, the most authentic people I met were from the physics department..

[judih]

very cool!