Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Washington (AP)-- The Department of Defense has awarded a five-hundred million dollar contract to Lockheed-Martin to install a tsunami warning system in the Indian Ocean. A Defense Department official, speaking on conditions of anonymity said that the contract was awarded without open bidding because of the urgency of the situation.

The system will consist of thousands of fishing corks implanted with microchips and set afloat in the Indian Ocean. These can be tracked and plotted to within inches by means of Global Positioning Satellite. With the price of electronic components being what it is today, the sea based part of the system will cost an estimated ninety-seven dollars. The GPS satellite will only be about ten million and it can double as a spy satellite. The bulk of the remaining four-hundred and ninety million will be devoted to needless profiteering and executive perks and a public relations bombardment to convince the people in the region and here at home that the program will make them safer.

The Pentagon proceeded with this emergency measure even though The Public Accounting Office estimated that it would be more cost effective to provide everyone in the coastal regions of the Indian Ocean with life jackets and surfboards.

The White House has announced that after snoozing on the disaster for three days, the President will send his only begotten...er....elected brother and the Late Great Collin Powell to the region so they can film a couple of commercials for compassionate conservatism before we call it a day and put the whole thing on the same shelf with the humanitarian and health disasters in Africa.

a 9.0 quake, seven hundred and fifty miles of the ocean floor shifted, so much mass that it probably effected the earth's rotation, the wobble anyway, and no one noticed? No one thought it might be a good idea to pick up a high tech piece of equipment like a telephone and call a few coutries on the shores of the Indian Ocean? The story I heard was that NOA knew there would probably be one of those wave things. I heard congress is looking into it for what it is worth. Someone said they did not call those countries most likely to be in the path of it because they did not have the phone numbers. Was it five hours after the quake that the wave hit?

yeah good post nice gallows humor LR, I got a good silent bitter laugh out of it.

Dos Pasos "war, famine, pestilence and death; good growing weather for the house of Morgan."

truck,
I love the term "gallows humor"
it's a high honor to have it applied to me.

It's amazing how the corperate industrializes nations looks down on the third world nations and then says oh let's help them out now.
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Honda Integra