Know All Persons by These Presents.....

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sasha
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Joined: April 12th, 2016, 12:01 pm
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Know All Persons by These Presents.....

Post by sasha » July 3rd, 2017, 1:44 pm

Back in May, I finally got around to contacting a lawyer to draft my will. I met with him for an hour or so, and he's a nice enough guy - maybe around my age, wearing a flannel shirt, chinos, and loafers - not some slick, moussed buttmunch in a 3-piece suit & $500 shoes. His dogs have the run of the office, and he invited mine in to join them.

A month later, he sent me about 75 pages worth of Last Will and Testament - Power of Attorney, NH Advance Directive, Fiduciary Assignments - for me to review & sign, along with a bill for $900. After struggling for 6 months to get Mom out of Parkwood and into Broadview, I just didn't have the energy to wade through them. Today I spent about half an hour reviewing the forms.

Gawd All-Fucking-Mighty.

I can't understand a word of it. The state of Massachusetts invested a lot of time & money teaching me to read & write English, & this ain't it. This is incomprehensible legalese bullshit. I'm tempted to write back in the jargon of my own profession - integration by parts, separation of variables, fast Fourier transforms, cross products, involutory matrices, eigenvalues! Gaussian beam profiles, substrate fluence, frequency multiplication, surface energy, diffraction limitation! Gravitational potential, burn vectors, plane-change maneuvers, descending nodes, longitude of perihelion, Hohmann ellipses! (And how about that Bi-Elliptic Transfer Orbit, eh?)

Looks like I'm going to have drop a few hundred more on an office visit to have him walk me through this morass before I can get it all behind me.

Fuck. My hiking boots are shot, too, but it looks like I'll have to make them last a little longer.

And they wonder why "the rest of us" make jokes about them...
.
"Falsehood flies, the Truth comes limping after it." - Jonathan Swift, ca. 1710

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