WORD FUN
Posted: May 31st, 2006, 9:15 pm
Dear All:
Here's a light and frothy piece of humor I just received from my paintings agent who is ( unlike me) a world-class cartoonist whose work appears regularly in ( at least) two international magazines:
( caution: bound to offend those who insist on being politically correct . . .
-- additional note: Irving Greenberg, my friend's friend who sent him this, is Jewish . . .)
( paste)
Subject: FW: For word lovers
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that,when you die, your Soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
17. Decadent (adj.), having 10 teeth.
(end paste)
--Z
Here's a light and frothy piece of humor I just received from my paintings agent who is ( unlike me) a world-class cartoonist whose work appears regularly in ( at least) two international magazines:
( caution: bound to offend those who insist on being politically correct . . .
-- additional note: Irving Greenberg, my friend's friend who sent him this, is Jewish . . .)
( paste)
Subject: FW: For word lovers
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that,when you die, your Soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.
17. Decadent (adj.), having 10 teeth.
(end paste)
--Z
