calling out jimbo

Hang out. Talk trash.
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stilltrucking
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calling out jimbo

Post by stilltrucking » November 9th, 2007, 11:45 pm

I needed you jim
I needed an institutional Friend
someone I respected
I needed someone to punch at
I don't want to post to that thread anymore
I can't talk about what I was really angry about
something that happened here this past week
I just had to let it go
a classic case of projection I think
displaced anger
I ain't really mad about whimsical deb anymore.
it had to do with something else which you have nothing to do with.
nothing worse than impotent rage
I think I understand better what it feels like to be raped.



Did I lash out at you
I

You want to talk about J C Smuts?

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MrGuilty
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Post by MrGuilty » November 10th, 2007, 1:18 am

I am sorry I hurt your feelings
I don't think you have the same problem with anger that I do
Mine was violent jim
it has cost me dearly in blood
from baltimore to astoria
I come close to murder a couple times
Once with my mother

I remember you saying once that you could not own a gun
I could not either jim
I don't why I moved this thread here
I suppose that it is because of who the moderator is on this board
I got a lot of respect for him too but he is a peckerhead too.

I think you were just trying to be the peace maker with whimsical deb

you figured you could help mend fences between me and her

nobody can do that but me and whims deb jim

how many miles on the road to hell have you paved?



I like deb's attitude
she is a real upbeat gal
but she is also hollier than thou.
I used to be smart

Free Rice

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 10th, 2007, 2:21 pm

phenomenologicaly speaking it was completely different from what happend on that thread with whimsical deb. The guy did not give me the adrenalin shakes. I am thinking about that. Why was that? I don't really understand it. It was a cold calm kind of rage. It brought back distant memories of putting my fist through walls. With you I did not have anything like that. Just a terrible shaking so bad I could hardly type.

Funny thing he did something that you used to do too. Editing your posts after I had repleid to them. But you were cool about it, no plagairism intended I am sure. And when I was amazed that we seemed to be echoing each others words you told me what you had done. You are a stand up guy jim. I hope i have not blown our cyberpalship

But what this guy did to me was on a different scale. I don't mean a word or two. I mean a completely different post. He would read my post and go back and rewrite his based on what I wrote. He was stealing my face right off my head. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Well it did not kill me so I suppose it has made me stronger.

He can't do that to me anymore. Because I will never post to him again. Which should make him happy too. So it is a win win. And even though he is a brilliant writer I will never read another one of his posts either.

"you can't be anybetter than the worst you recognize" jitterbut
I bear him no ill will, I am just as vain as he is, but with less reason to be.

It is over and done with,
Drive on drive on
It don't mean nothin
Drive on
johnny cash

I am glad you are not drinking everyday anymore
I lost a friend to alcohol
a musician
it is an occupational hazard
oh stevie I am so sorry
I wish I could have done more for him
on my couch for 18 months
and he was a mean drunk
but every once in a while he would pick up his martin and sing a song
it made it all worth it.
I think when he got so down and out and lost the martin
I think that is what killed him
he died of a broken heart
that guitar was a gift from his girlfriend
her daddy was rich and life was easy for him
but then she moved on to graduate school down south
she wanted him to come with her but he would not go
I don't know why
maybe he felt unworthy
I know that feeling.




talk at you later I hope

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MrGuilty
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Post by MrGuilty » November 11th, 2007, 12:14 pm

stevie had those native american genes, alcoholism is a disease, I am sure of that.
Gus Hasford the beat marine who wrote "Short Timers" had diabetes. After he was arrested for over due library books in california and spent six months hard time for it, he came out a broken man and drank himself to death.

Kerouac also another suicide by alcohol.


I do not go to bars, I drink alone at home or with a few friends. I can't be in bars too many mean drunks. And I just a pooh bear these days. I got to take the first punch. And my bones are so brittle these days.

I needed somebody to punch jimboloco. You know I would do the same for you any day.

talk at you later I hope
I used to be smart

Free Rice

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 12th, 2007, 11:18 am

My neighbor's grandson
was staying with her because he was homeless
but the bruja ratted him out to the management because she only had a one bedroom and he could not stay there (government housing)
so
bradley is in the army now
seventeen years old
he has a home now
the recuriter kindly brought him by to say goodbye

Mission Accomplished
Mission Impossible
Your mission, should you choose to accept it will be to go to hell and The Five People You Will Meet In Hell will be:

Woodrow Wilson
George W Bush
Dick Cheney
Karl Rove
and me.

The only reason I am going there is to make sure that son of bitch is there, If he ain't I am going to raise hell about it.


thinking about the old lady with the shitty undies

thinking about alamo rose and all my shitty diapers she changed
thinking about june of 1979
a blue rug
with a nice brown turd on it
I did not mind cleaning up after her stroke, I was happy she was still alive and it was an honor to clean up after her for a change.
All the times I broke her heart, she only broke mine twice.

I owe you one,
you can punch at me anytime



talk at you later
got to head to the jewel mine

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » November 14th, 2007, 6:04 am

man you can let it out

i din't do well with negative teasing
but you desensitized me to that one

ain't scooter the one that went into the wild?

i got one more long day
5 am
peace bro

the eyes of tehas is upon you
thanks for your thoughts
i read them thru
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 14th, 2007, 6:19 am

scooter may be the biggest
peckerhead here
after me





thanks for reading
peace unto you
I hope your day will be good one

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 15th, 2007, 6:22 am

Re mindbending

What would drive a man to take his own life, a feeling of moral inferiority?

From Mourning and Melancholia
This picture of a delusion of (mainly moral)inferiority is completed ...by an overcoming of the instinct which compels every living thing to cling to life.
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bSQoQ6CFreo&re ... ram><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bSQoQ6CFreo&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hqVZ4K1bAx4&re ... ram><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hqVZ4K1bAx4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 15th, 2007, 6:29 am

My father who art dead
I forgive you
Freud died for your sins.


Anger is sweet
A throat between my hands

Anger is power
The sounds of bones breaking

Anger is pain
A child’s suicide

Anger is black
Blacker than black

The sweetest blackness I have ever known
Starring into it I learned my lesson well

Thank you daddy
You tought me well

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » November 15th, 2007, 11:16 am

Image
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » November 15th, 2007, 11:32 am

i got a tote bag with some extrey room
it ain't heavy
lift them blues
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 15th, 2007, 2:35 pm

per·spi·cac·i·ty


Dick Cheney April 15, 1994 defending the first Bush Administration.
"Once you got to Iraq and took it over; and took down Saddam Hussein's government, then what are you going to put in ists place? That's a very volitile part of the world and if you take down the central government of Iraq you can easily end up seeing pieces of Iraq fly off." Cheney said in the interview which was done by C-SPANN and surfaced last summer on YouTube.

Boy old Dick got the prescience don't he.

The above was from the local paper sunday edition the title for the article was "Bush's views on Iraq have changed in a decade." I don't have a url I typed the above from the paper
The by line was Sig Christenson Military writer for The Express News

I will pick out a few more snips for you later

Bush Jr is like a cartoon, a caricature of manhood. I can't look at his picture, I can't watch him on TV, and I can't listen to his voice. The black anger starts to build. I want to put my fist through a walls or "chew on a bridge"


This song cheered me up, I guess it was those jungle posts on GO made me think of it.

This guy is almost as bad ass as El Pesidente Bush

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b0h7enhTu0E&re ... ram><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b0h7enhTu0E&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Talk at you later
the blues been good to me jim
all those years I spent starring into the darkness I only felt the fear, now I see the anger too. Fear/Anger they go together like ...
damn I can't think of a metaphor.
Hey
i just thought of one
they go together like Bush/Cheney A couple of real american heroes.

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » November 16th, 2007, 9:07 am

fear an anger
go together like a real head banger
a warmonger with a hangover
hungover
from
days of gory glory

yeah i remember ol dickhaid's prescience
then he got wind of an opportunity to jam
and cut some green for hellyburnin
hssssss
alleyooppoop poop poop
you a bad go getter
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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Diana Moon Glampers
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Post by Diana Moon Glampers » November 16th, 2007, 1:15 pm

Crazy Mike, fear and anger. I try to work my way back to him. Thinking about Kerouac’s comment that the sweetest thing in the world is a child's belief that his father knows everything. I think homeboy eventually became a psychiatrist because of Crazy Mike. I remember when he did not believe in psychiatry. He was a can-do, lift your self by the bootstraps kind of guy. But when I told him about my pre-sleep images of the rifle under my chin he sent me to see a friend of his who was just starting up his psychiatric practice after retiring from the USAF. The guy helped me, but most of all I think what helped me was my Hindu boss/ friend. I followed to a new job where he was going to be director of research Leaving town and leaving every one I knew behind was help full.

Coming up on November 22 again. This year it falls on thanksgiving again. The day Rose died in 1984 was November 22 thanks giving day.. It was a good thanksgiving, it was like the day fo the grateful dead, she has been trying to break on through to the other side for weeks. She had died in the hospital. But a doctor decided to play the hero and put a pace maker in. This after the family had told him to please do not use any heroics, she is ready to go. Homeboy could hardly contain his anger. Rose had told him she did not wish any heroics.. So he brought her home where she died a good death in her own room nursed by Diamond Lil. So it worked out well. I think it was better than dying in that intensive care unit. But what do I know about dying?
You the expert on that.












I did not know that your dad saw you before he was killed in that airplane crash. It makes me feel better somehow.

I have been thinking a lot about Anne Sexton lately.

One of Anne's most haunting images was of being shut up in her room as a toddler, by a folding gate drawn across the doorway. It was a spacious, high-ceilinged room in the top story of the house, papered with a pattern of red roses. Tall windows looked out on a crown of trees. Anne's imagination endowed this room with terrors in her late poetry of urges to die, she felt, 'locked in the wrong house.'
And I am thinking, geez suppose she was shut up in a black basement full of dead rats with maggots? I wonder how that might have haunted her.

God Bless You Captain Willingham.
Wasn't that a Novel by Vonnegut?


:arrow: Shit I tried an edit here and srewed it up, got to go tryi and fix this later :arrow:
I can't figure out where to put this bit
was November 22 1963. It was not thanksgiving that year but it was the day of the great abreaction to crazy mike's death

one more edit to go
was November 22 1963. It was not thanksgiving that year but it was the day of the great abreaction to crazy mike's death
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Free Rice

"a sixty-eight-year-old virgin who, by almost anybody's standards, was too dumb to live. Her name was Diana Moon Glampers."

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 16th, 2007, 1:57 pm

I may have to delete the one above by DMG
Of course I will have to delete this one too.

More about me later

or

"Moron" me.

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