The Gynecology of Morals

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 7th, 2009, 5:25 pm

By the way, trucker. I like the sock puppets.
I'll tell you why.

I hear you talk about your vanity. I'm vain too. I swear I'm one of those me, me, me types. It is all about me, and if not, then I make it so.

Sock puppets are helping my sanity, I already think everyone is you, and all the everyones is my Magician, who is my catfish fiend. It's how the game plays. My world, and you help make it easier when I can say, ok, they're trucker, trucker, trucker...

The world is so gigantic in my head, I keep it more contained by making it all mine. You've helped clear the clutter.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 8th, 2009, 7:21 am

You promised me no praise
That is starting to sound like praise
I can't deal with praise
I can't stand success
If you been helped
it is because you helped
I am not mad
Not angry
How could I possibly tell you anything about men you don't know.
This is what this is
my extistential strip tease for my sisters
Because I will show them mine
just to see what I can learn about women.
I have learned to listen to my sister
but still got a long way to go
I want her to outlive me
so I can have one woman left behind
to cry over my bones.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 8th, 2009, 7:26 am

I am very aggrevated Sad Luck Dame
I need to stay away for today or two
Nothing to do with you
Earnestine from ATT go me by the short hairs
Lily TOmlin was serious about ATT

I am going to snapping at everyone.
I am not much of a Buddha yet
Sorry

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 8th, 2009, 7:53 am

I'm not praising you.
Just thanking.
They are different, totally different.

I gotta go soon, but I'll absorb that when I can later.

I just need to return to that book, I said I'd try to find something within for me. Here's what I got...

The ex did it like all those other terrible boys had when I was young, he got that look with me.

When the boys were playing cars, cowboys, baseball, action figure men or whatever 'boy' thing, I'd come over to play too. I was not hard up on making new friends, it was the keeping where I'd faulted. Still do.

I'd grab up a handful of their cars, go vroom, vroom just like they did and before you know it, I'd have the cars high tailing it through a jungle! Or some excitement. Only to hear them belt out, "Hey, that's not how you play it! You can't do that with the cars, the cars are supposed to go save Heman from Skelator..."
What? I'm not doing right? I feel good, I'm actually feeling really great, I'm laughing and at top of my lil world.

I'm not sure, but somehow I developed this thought that I couldn't play right, that I was awkward, wrong or what have ya. The looks that crossed their faces set me up for domino effects even now.

Barry set me off like a rocket yesterday about my emotions over the moon being somehow screwy.

The ex treated me the same and I couldn't handle it. He got that look, that same boy look that I'm not going by some imaginary world line, or boy code or wife code...code code code.

When all I noes is I'm just in the moment, doing my thing until they snap me to realities that I'm different, not accepted, or whatever title description to tag on.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 8th, 2009, 11:41 am

I just came back to edit a post.

Whimsical Deb is a good old gal
but like I told jimboloco she is a little holier than thou
same goes for barry

What you are saying about your ex
so true about my sister

Well I got to go deal with AT&T
I got to get my mojo buddha working

good talking to you
Tally Ho

Post by **tarbaby** » October 8th, 2009, 8:49 pm

Day turned out well
I feel like I trekked 15 miles killed me a paleolithic cave bear, and now I am kicked mack b y the fire chewing on a bear rib.

I felt so powerless today it was beautiiiiiful.
I been without a phone for six days

I was in a panic last night
reminded me about B&W movie from the 50's I think called "The Phone Call" I think. About a musician who has hard luck in NY City. Money ripped off by con artist, intruments stolen by supposed friends, and he has one phone call coming that will take care of all his troubles, a call from a big band leader. And the phone company was going to cut his phone off.

Well I can't live without a phone. Well not in this opulence.

Reminds me of a bit of lyrics I heard when passing through kansas

"I will be with you when the phones go out
till the children burn the town down"

I must have heard that wrong

I got my new phone and super fast internet coming on the 19th. And not only that but I am going to have webspace again. I been bitching about how I need a webpage and by golly I got one. I do beive I do believe in
the great pumpkin

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 9th, 2009, 7:48 am

I felt so powerless today it was beautiiiiiful.

me too, Jack, me too.
I just haven't seen the beauty in it yet, like you have.
I'm scardid is all.

I'm glad you'll be all set up, webspace and all.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 9th, 2009, 11:25 am

I think what I meant about the beauty is that there was no anger,. There was no pain. No anguish. I was not upset. I just realized I was not going to get anywhere by ranting and raving. I think they know that I am going to move my phone service on the 19th.

I don't know where i read it, and I am not sure if i got this right
But I thought Nietzsche said our basic instinct is our will to power.

The big word going around among hippies used to be "co-opted" The counter culture being co-opted sold out to the main stream.
Have you read anything on Nietzsche and Buddhism? It seems like the Buddhists try to co-opt Nietzsche. I think it has something to do with nihilism and Buddhism.

Makes my day to give you a laugh
My sister too.
She was born late in her mother's life.
Her mother was dying of cancer and wanted to see her daughter married with children. That line "the things we do for love” Keeps popping into mind.
She was twenty-eight when she married
Her mother's only daughter she was getting a lot of pressure about grand children. A lot of pressure.
Twenty-eight is a dangerous age for a woman I have heard.

I hope you get your hug today
I hope your sister comes by to draw something on your back.

I am trying to work my way around to writing about her son and his baby mama drama.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 9th, 2009, 4:47 pm

I think I've psyched myself out so much, I'm sort of gone.
I'm winging this.
I'm reading Symbolic Person, The Category of the Person.
It's interesting and I'm imagining all sorts of things with it. I wouldn't of minded being a guinea pig. I'd be fascinated with results, the process, etc.

Had I of had a very nice education, I may have been a psychiatrist or sumpin'. I like it that much, I like the individual. But, I've no regrets, I'm in a good place. And I finally feel the reward process I was lacking for such an extended amount of time.

Have you read anything on Nietzsche and Buddhism?

Not yet.

And did she have children?
I should call my sister today. Sometimes she needs me too.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 10th, 2009, 2:08 am

Symbolic Person, The Category of the Person.

I am still checking that out, I just ripped a quote from it and ran withit.

Do you like richard farina
or maybe it is tom paxton

I always loved that song
"pack up all your sorrows"

I think we might be friends dame
maybe we know how to use each others sorrows.
If you can be a friend to my sister
through me I will be very grateful
she is all I got

yes she has a son and I fear for him.

when he was born one of my sister in laws said "I am glad Elke had a little boy" And I am thinking do you mean it would have been worse if she had a daughter?

Post by **still.trucking** » October 10th, 2009, 2:31 am

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 10th, 2009, 11:25 am

Trucker, I'm all for trading sorrows. If you want mine, they're yours. And, I'd take yours and train them up lady like or dame like, if you'd rather.
Yes, I'm your friend. And you can count on me to attempt to help your sister, daughter and speak for your mother, anything I can do on ladies behalf, I'm all for it.

I have a sister friend who's a breast cancer survivor. I love her so dearly, I remember the dark days. I was awake at 2 am thankfully, we cried first, but every moment, every single one counts. It all counts. 2 ams meant there was still time. Today, 12 years later, she just sent me a Breast Cancer awareness month mail.

The catfish, he left and the silence was unbearable. The pond froze over and I beat the ice till my palms bloodied. I couldn't handle what silence could of meant. Silence could mean death, he gave me life, I couldn't look at that silence. don't leave me. Once he almost died. I had to pick myself up off the floor. I might be inconsiderate of 99% of the population, and you may hate me for not standing up on so many deaths, death everywhere. Hunger, disease, murder, war..death in every window. But, I don't have enough tears for all of them, instead I turn their ills into tears for those I know. I have to make a thing mine or I don't know any other way to approach it.

Anyway, I'm all passionate and worked up. My apologies.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 11th, 2009, 4:09 am

I have no sorrows other than my sister's sorrows
Except for the Weimar Republic in Germany.
I just can't help thinking about that
And the decadent art of the twenties.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 11th, 2009, 5:41 am

Have you noticed how many times we appologize to each other?
Seems like every other word out of my sister's mouth is "sorry"

"Father forgive us for what we must do
You forgive us we'll forgive you
And go whistling and fishing in heaven" john prine

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 11th, 2009, 8:50 am

They add ease where I may of been harsh.
I'm not well today. I shouldn't be here
who knows what I might say.

The dark in it's inky liquid fashions
goes parading over form.
"I've not done wrong, I've not!"
though I yield to it,
which is all it needs in order to consume.

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

The Gynecology of Morals

Who is online