Calling out Atit and KD

[stilltrucking]

You putting words in my mouth sister.

Re: weirdos post fragmentation.

but I don't blame you not your fault

it is assfault boss

you just an innocent kid among us weirdos

[K&D]

i'm stateing something that you don't want to be stated...i'm just reasoning....its human.

i wonder if this is a conflict?

[K&D]

not trying to put words in your mouth...fragmentation is a subject that intrest me. capitalism does fragment people, it makes you get a job that you might hate, it makes you forget who part of you is because you have to be something to someone either a boss, a worker, a husband, a wise protective old man, because those are the roles society throws you in even if you arent in that roll...you see what i mean?

maybe thats not why you do it...which is fine, i just feel more comfortable having something stated, that everybody knows but nobuddy talks about.

[stilltrucking]

i wonder if this is a conflict?



yes lets take it as far as we can.

Your reasoning sounds like the same reasoning that wants to give kids Ritalin.

I said I was playing kind of like kids do with hand puppets, you call it fragmentation. So are you taking Pysch 101?
Ya know there used to be a saying around the Psychology honors department. "if you can't find white rats for an experiment use sophomores"

"ometimes it's heaven,sometimes it's hell
Sometimes i don't even know
Sometimes i take it as far as i can
Sometimes i don't even go" Waylon Jennings.

[K&D]

your just confusing sometimes. sometimes i wonder how confident you are, i'm not confident either...but i keep it to one identity...i changed from Atit, because in part, that was not my identy, not to you guys...the name reflected taht college "animal House" part of me you know...but thats a fragmentation of me.

about my dad. i don't know if you remember, back in the litkicks days i had problems with my mom and dad fighting. when i lived in france, when i was in elementary school my dad had a part time job but hatted france, he went back home to be with his buddies and to live in San Antonio.

that was for a year, i think, its hard to remember what happened i was so young. so my mom moves to NC and we meet up with my dad, he lives with us for a couple of years. then he gets laid off, along with a lot of other people. he looks for a job but can't find one in NC and has since then slowly moved farther away from us...there is something behind this more then just jobs, my mom doens't have the same values as him and frankly my dad is getting more and more spacy as i get older, and i talk to him less and less...we were once inseprable best buds. in fact i don't connect with my mom as much she was a striaght A student, me and my dad however are botyh unique fuck ups in the same way...but my dad is scared of conflict so he lets mom push him around, and nobuddy talks about whats really going on...my dad doesnt' call or vist very often when i'm at home, and he hasn't called here but once since i got here.

its a big part of my personality...see i feel like sometimes me and my dad are so fucking similar, and yet, he has some major faults, like avoiding conflict...but its sad that i go back in forth form loving him because he's just like me to hating him because i don't understand why he does the things he does.

[stilltrucking]

maybe thats not why you do it...which is fine, i just feel more comfortable having something stated, that everybody knows but nobuddy talks about

I do it because it is fun, I like to play. That is all. Nothing deep about it. Life On The Screen, Sherry Turkle MIT, she is an expert at these text based communities.

As far as your dad goes It reminds me of the james dean movie. Not sure of the title going to find it.

I am way too confident for my own good. A fine line between confidence and vanity. You have no idea about how vain I am.

I think we crossed each other on these posts, we most have been posting to each other at the same time.

I should stop using those different screen names. Just more vanity. I should take more time with my posts read them over and just put the back and forth conversation on one post. But something about an open text box and spilling my guts. No idea what will come out, feel like I am working without a net.

I have come to realize that if someone can understand what I am saying about 30% of the time I am doing pretty good.

hammer hammer

[stilltrucking]

http://www.sensesofcinema.com/contents/ ... nding.html

Paste

When asked what the goal of the characters was in Rebel without a Cause (1955), director Nicholas Ray, "normally reticent about articulating his ideas, was ready to reveal the name of the game: look for the father. In one sentence, he told a journalist visiting the set, 'he fails to provide the adequate father image, either in strength or authority'" (qtd. in Eisenschitz 254).

So you been getting some shut eye?

[K&D]

i think i get you about 50% of the time...but maybe i'm egotistical too!

yeah i know the movie you speek of and yea, my life story reminds me of the film as well.

i'm going to try to sleep now. i almost cried in cosmology....i don't get it. the deachers a dick dude, he won't explain he doesn't teach, he just repeats.

i'm dyslexic, numbers formulas equations, i look at them and they mean nothing!

i'm worried about school, everything is so hard, and new and i don't understand cosmology, or even how to work one of those light readers for my own major class...and i had a hard time understanding the postmodernity reading and everything feels really shitty right now, yesterday i was sick today i'm all sad and tired and i got the headache again.

i don't mind the sock puppets so much as the fact as you always delete what they say sometimes if you think its too extreme, that hardly seems fair.

[stilltrucking]

ok I am going to put it back here. Just give me a little time. Man it is hard. I wish I could help.

i'm going to try to sleep now. i almost cried in cosmology....i don't get it. the deachers a dick dude, he won't explain he doesn't teach, he just repeats.

as bad as it gets.


talk to you later. sleep tight.

here is some of it

Frustration and confusion? I thought we were talking about anger.
Now I am confused I forgot this is a different string. But frustration and confusion can lead to anger or so it seems to me

Frustrated, Confused. That is why I admire president bush, he is always so certain, so sure of himself, always seems so cheerful. Our national cheer leader.

I imagine my thoughts as a hurricaine, who ever I am sits in the calm center and watches the clouds go buy.

Did I mention Blind Faith, Cream that might be my most favorite rock and roll album.

I got up in the middle of the night and edited this post one hell of a lot.

PS
I pity your dad, What the hell is wrong with that guy. A daughter like you, if you were my daughter I think I would be the happiest man alive.I want to ask you a lot of personal questions about him, but it is none of my bussiness. I don't have many happy memories of my dad, but I treasure those few. Rolling is sweet, losing the road was hard blow. But I love to scribble, i enjoy compulsive typing but i over do it. Maybe the only thing I am certain of.
DId you know that Keroquack for all his road stuff never learned to drive?

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Douglas Adams
I think I am pretty certain that I have probably said too much. If you think this is weird you should have seen it before i deleted half of it. I hope you did not. But somebody probably did.
I only seem to get confused when I get really tired. Most times I am all too sure of myself. Hard not to be cynical these days.

I hope you slept well.

hey no blame, I just like randy newman a lot. Don't forget what a weirdo I am. Don't take it to heart. You ain't a kid I know that. Just in my mind cause anniefay had to flame me big time when I was annoying jamelah. It all started with a poem she wrote about an old man sitting on a park bench holding a leaf that was the same color as hers. Experience, I am just worried about you sometimes cause there is so much to get angry about. Righteous anger though, not just because some friend of yours is hitting on your boy friend. I got a whole in my wall where I shoved a computer cause I had been fucking around with it for three days and kept getting crashes. One of those got dam Cyrix CPU's. I got cut tendon in my pinky finger cause I got mad at a green pepper. I confine my violence to inanimate objects and vegetables these days. I am weird with a beard. You didn't get confused and it don't get any better than Stevie Winwood, I just meant that it seemed like you tought I was confused about the song.
I maybe should have made it clear that I was thinking of a different songMaybe Cream might be my favorite rock and roll album of all time, Blind Faith.
Stevie Windwood I think.

wrong one man, though thats a good one too. the one i was talking about is very 80's pop:

i say roll with the punches

No it ain't the wrong one
I know what you was tinkin
I know what I was tinkin
Roll with the punches little black boy
Roll with the punches
No child left behind

I have not found the bit about sixty four year old virgin and sexual frustration. going to put that one here to

It is an honor to be your clown. Do anything to make you smile once in a while.

[K&D]

calling me a lab rat....that ones harsh....you're a old man who because he can't cope has choosen to expirement, only the complacent and happy choose to live normally...those are my only harsh words to you...and its sad, because i have a hard time coping too, so there not really harsh at all.

what about the mad one, the gypsy joker one...the one about being confused and how everyone is...that was an intresting one.

i didn't think old people got embarresed that much.

[stilltrucking]

so how are things at the cop shop

[K&D]

cop shot? is this some old peoples term for something?

[stilltrucking]

yes

[K&D]

k, so are you going to make me look it up?

[stilltrucking]

that's better