Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

don't know what the hell will happen
all i know is that it will happen
and when it finally does happen
i won't know what will happen next
that would frustrate a lesser man
but the latest version of me
tends to thrive on the unpredictable
he likes to teeter on the edge
and spit into the great abyss
it's like a surprise party
with a revolving door
that leads to another surprise party
that isn't the real surprise party
but one to allay your suspicions
so they can pull another one out of their sleeve
like an endless skein of crayola bandanas
it's like living in a novelty shop
blindfolded
you open a can of mixed nuts
fully expecting one of those springy snake thing
deals to sproing in your face
only it's mixed nuts instead
but you really wanted a springy snake thing
so you console yourself with that old
religious mumbo jumbo voodoo shit
that you should be thankful
it wasn't a real snake
i mean like what the fuck man
it's a novelty shop for chrissake
i've got to watch myself or i'll repent
and what if i do repent
what'll that get me
eternity? great
that's just what i fucking need
if you liked me on earth
you'll love me in eternity
i'll wear it like a glove
like one of those mittens
your mommy made you wear
she used to make me wear leggings
that was a drag even in kindergarten
i don't care how cold it is in eternity
i'll never wear leggings again mom
do you hear me mom
yeah you!
no more mittens
fuck the leggings
and hold the mayo
no, i don't want fish sticks
i don't care if it's gorton's
fuck gorton and the squid he rode in on
ink sac motherfucker
jet-propelled spooky ass cephalopodic bastard
that's what you are
and you know it
damn right you know it
now you're changing colors
i guess that means you're pissed off
well join the club
you cuttlefish wannabe
this ain't the junior prom
hey jimmy
is this the junior prom
squidboy thinks it's the junior prom
wanna dance squidboy
oh that's right, you can't dance
or maybe you can and won't
yeah, that's it
you're pretty slick for a cephalopod
i'm beginning to like you mister squid
you've got class
for a nervy ass squid you're alright
drinks on me
your money's no good here
try the wine
too good to drink with me?
ya lousy bum
hey jimmy...

amazing
absolutely
perfecto

thanks jack.

even though i commented on this on another site, I wanted to add that i loved, "He Unpredictable"...it sounds so anthropogenic, like
Homos Erectus (spelling?).....All in all a great introspective romp, dino..

it was a typo - i see what you mean though.

u r the zone C. awesome!

~chicagowestie

thanks steve and western one.

I'm gonna have to interrupt the stream of praise here, dino
this piece is so rich with images and verbal cleverness
but it wanders
usually your work is very on-theme

I have this problem too
sometimes I write three poems at once
I know what happens when the flow gets going
sometimes we need to take a breath
and say
hey
I've got three poems here

I'm all for starting at one place and ending up in another
that's one of the things a good poem needs
but this one confuses me

yeah, but eternity's like that
i mean, i think -
i am willing to believe there'll be novelty shops
and squids
(now that dino mentions them) - i mean what isn't in eternity?

Lightning's on the money here...so be good to yourself & to your readers & listen up...the piece is ambitious but its gabby as hell - lacks punch - it could stand some ruthless tightening up - you know it too -

no, i don't know it. it's supposed to be gabby as hell. why shouldn't it. it starts off by the narrator saying he doesn't know what will happen next - and the rest of the poem backs him up- as life does. i don't want it in a tight little poetic package. it was a cyclone shot. be good to myself and the readers? gee dad, i'll try.

I'm pretty sure mingo was kidding. He kids like that.

I loved the poem.

It was all good but this might be my favorite bits juxtoposed.

don't know what the hell will happen

it's a novelty shop for chrissake
i've got to watch myself or i'll repent
and what if i do repent
what'll that get me
eternity? great
that's just what i fucking need
if you liked me on earth
you'll love me in eternity
i'll wear it like a glove

Read it five or six times and I liked more each time
but don't let me encourage you.
I would not know what a poem is if it bit me on my A$$

But this one spoke to me

I don’t know where this is going either
but why don’t I find out
I lost one girlfriend last month
and now I'm about to lose another
to what?
to poetry
the hell you say
who said that?
not me
must I give the SOB credit?
I haven’t a clue who said it
Mike says
I have to cite his fat ass though
and btw
no one says,
"the hell you say"
who doesn't have a fat ass
someone call the credit police
and while you're at it
can I borrow a couple grand
cause my business is sinking
eerrr...shit I’m stuck
fucking heard the dogs breathing
and it distracted me
where was I
oh yeah
the lost girlfriends
no that's not it
well I did write this haiku
I called it the,
fuck you haiku
so I'll put it here and that will give me
some time to get back
whatever it is
I shouldn't be looking for
anyway

fuck you haiku
you ain't paying my mortgage
and you ain't sucking my dick
so piss on nature
and fuck you too

nothing came back
cept' my back
which hurts
and my neck too
so I'll cite my mom
who grew up in Reisterstown
and always use to say,
"We're havin' chicken,
ya wanna neck?"

Thanks Dino,
Your shit is liberating

Wow
something so familiar about your writing scott. Did you ever use another user name here?