walk like a man

[constantine]

some things don't set well with me
this blurring of gender
this androgyny,
people have lost their way
and have forgotten how to act
in a biologically appropriate manner
hopefully
i can straighten out
the confusing and ambiguous nature
of our floundering species
i consider myself up to the task
and offer to you, my qualifications
first off, i'm greek and i'm tough
i've worn long pants since i was five
and refuse to go back to shorts
no matter what
sandals?
forget about it
i never ask myself
what would jesus wear?
i want socks - white socks
and shoes that encapsulate my feet
because my feet are my fucking business
and another thing, i'm a purist
if i want peanut butter
i make a peanut butter sandwich
if i want jelly,
i make a jelly sandwich (on toast)
i don't mix it up, i don't
whirl one into another
like some kind of swirling dervish
indulging, shamelessly cavorting
smearing unguents and ointments
on places that should never see daylight
it's all about self-control
desires are desires
they don't have to be fulfilled
that's what it means to be a man
be stoic, laconic even
never say that you're tired
they want you to say that you're tired
they want you to admit to the fact that you are tired
why?
because it is an admission of weakness
you have only succeeded in castrating yourself
by this confession, you have debased yourself
and have lost face - not to mention
prestige! power!! position!!!
the big stuff, the holy trinity - the trifecta
your birthright (if you choose to accept it)
only you were too busy mixing condiments
and combing your eyebrows like a geisha girl
how can i right the floundering shipwreck of your masculinity?
why would i want to anyway?
you make me sick

[WIREMAN]

dino all i wanna do is party naked on the weekends.....

[constantine]

as well you should. i too like to frolic naked in the posies.

[mnaz]

so then, frolicking naked in the posies is OK. as long as you don't bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with you...

[constantine]

i see no inconsistencies in that scenario.

[Steve Plonk]

Y'all are in good company...I heard it on
good authority that Ben Franklin took "air baths", too,
in the privacy of his home.