the fizz of it all
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- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
the fizz of it all
i let it all drop, i let it merge and pop
the fizz of it all, like champagne
on a tuesday night after the laundromat
life is so demanding
expecting more
after kicking you in the balls
how are you holding up
does your chest still hurt
oh really
maybe you should write a poem
a real poem - not this crap
take this line for instance
it has no redeeming qualities
no reason to exist - filler
fluff n puff
stuff, double stuff
like a fat fucking oreo cookie
yes! that's it!!
that's what you are
a fucking cookie man
a tossaway tommy in search of a mommy
does your chest still hurt
maybe you should see a doctor
did you quit smoking yet
oh really
and here's the kicker
the bitter edge of the lemon wedge
that floats like a bloated jellyfish
in the bottle of long island iced tea
at the supermarket next to o'douls
o'douls is here it's better than beer
now that's poetry brother
it says it all without moving its lips
toss in a little latin
some paté de patois
and feed it to the idiots
of which there are more than enough
if they can't understand it
that means it's good
look at the time invested
the internal revisions
countless trips to the blood bank
o, how i've suffered for the muse
so many muses, so little time
does your chest still hurt
oh really
what do you want from me
what is it that you expect
you want to hear something
you want to be inspired by proxy
you demand more, always more
until i begin to doubt everything
should i delete this piece of shit
or simply let the electrons decide
they have feelings too you know
they are quite capable of turning themselves off
if that is what they truly desire
he's doing it again
he's doing it again
he's done this sort of thing before
these stock phrases that permeate his work
check the archives
in poem # 34 entitled
it looks like a poem but it's not
the author goes off in a direction
that shows promise - a rich vein
begging to be tapped,
but rather than commit himself to legitimate poetic expression
he pulls out and shoots his wad all over the muse's belly
leaving a starchy residue instead of knocking her up
it's the same old story, we see it all the time
when you've been in the business as long as i have
you know the real deal when you see it
and you, my friend, are not
i mean you're my friend and all
but you're not the real deal
but you're still my friend
does your chest still hurt
oh really
the fizz of it all, like champagne
on a tuesday night after the laundromat
life is so demanding
expecting more
after kicking you in the balls
how are you holding up
does your chest still hurt
oh really
maybe you should write a poem
a real poem - not this crap
take this line for instance
it has no redeeming qualities
no reason to exist - filler
fluff n puff
stuff, double stuff
like a fat fucking oreo cookie
yes! that's it!!
that's what you are
a fucking cookie man
a tossaway tommy in search of a mommy
does your chest still hurt
maybe you should see a doctor
did you quit smoking yet
oh really
and here's the kicker
the bitter edge of the lemon wedge
that floats like a bloated jellyfish
in the bottle of long island iced tea
at the supermarket next to o'douls
o'douls is here it's better than beer
now that's poetry brother
it says it all without moving its lips
toss in a little latin
some paté de patois
and feed it to the idiots
of which there are more than enough
if they can't understand it
that means it's good
look at the time invested
the internal revisions
countless trips to the blood bank
o, how i've suffered for the muse
so many muses, so little time
does your chest still hurt
oh really
what do you want from me
what is it that you expect
you want to hear something
you want to be inspired by proxy
you demand more, always more
until i begin to doubt everything
should i delete this piece of shit
or simply let the electrons decide
they have feelings too you know
they are quite capable of turning themselves off
if that is what they truly desire
he's doing it again
he's doing it again
he's done this sort of thing before
these stock phrases that permeate his work
check the archives
in poem # 34 entitled
it looks like a poem but it's not
the author goes off in a direction
that shows promise - a rich vein
begging to be tapped,
but rather than commit himself to legitimate poetic expression
he pulls out and shoots his wad all over the muse's belly
leaving a starchy residue instead of knocking her up
it's the same old story, we see it all the time
when you've been in the business as long as i have
you know the real deal when you see it
and you, my friend, are not
i mean you're my friend and all
but you're not the real deal
but you're still my friend
does your chest still hurt
oh really
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
confession: i'm seeing a puppet show
a series
only when i read you
does this happen
a series
only when i read you
does this happen
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
Re: the fizz of it all
thank you, judih. you are so nice - you make me smile. one day, if i am lucky, i hope to meet you.
- judih
- Site Admin
- Posts: 13399
- Joined: August 17th, 2004, 7:38 am
- Location: kibbutz nir oz, israel
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
a Studio8 gathering
see you then!
see you then!
- revolutionrabbit
- Posts: 729
- Joined: March 29th, 2009, 8:55 pm
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
a rich vein
like gold?
or the vein in Bill Gates head?
no really
this is a profound meditation on the meaning of Muse
like an ore-o
and then that swift kick to the cookies.
all that white sugar filler
in the middle.
like gold?
or the vein in Bill Gates head?
no really
this is a profound meditation on the meaning of Muse
like an ore-o
and then that swift kick to the cookies.
all that white sugar filler
in the middle.
Re: the fizz of it all
here's a ((hug)) mr. dino.
i love venting poems. they're therapeutic...cleansing. and usually honest to the bone. great job
i love venting poems. they're therapeutic...cleansing. and usually honest to the bone. great job
- Doreen Peri
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14539
- Joined: July 10th, 2004, 3:30 pm
- Location: Virginia
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
i hope you feel better soon... i really LOVE the poem.. yes, it IS a poem
try walking... a mile a day... the patches should help... hell who am i to say? i'm still smoking, might have copd ... geesh... i can't rescue you, you can't rescue me... all this rhymes and though health shit can be grim... it helps me when i swim
try walking... a mile a day... the patches should help... hell who am i to say? i'm still smoking, might have copd ... geesh... i can't rescue you, you can't rescue me... all this rhymes and though health shit can be grim... it helps me when i swim
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
Re: the fizz of it all
we'll go up in smoke together, reni! thanks for all the friendly comments, everybody. have a great thanksgiving - feast upon the noble gift of squanto or a vegetable substitute!
-
- Posts: 215
- Joined: November 10th, 2010, 12:12 pm
Re: the fizz of it all
WOW!! I hope you ain't talking about me. jim
- .Lucy.
- Posts: 285
- Joined: May 27th, 2009, 11:40 am
- Location: Stuck between a conundrum and a metaphor
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
Does your chest still hurt
oh really
maybe you should try to float straight through a city water fountain
and see if they through pennies at you.
oh really
maybe you should try to float straight through a city water fountain
and see if they through pennies at you.
The road to happiness: Perseverance, Endurance and a whole lot of Hope.
- hester_prynne
- Posts: 2363
- Joined: June 26th, 2006, 12:35 am
- Location: Seattle, Washington
- Contact:
Re: the fizz of it all
Well i'm spent!
Nice one!
Wow
H
Nice one!
Wow
H
"I am a victim of society, and, an entertainer"........DW
Re: the fizz of it all
I liked the bit about the lemon wedge
go figure
yes
I did
think it was good
gimme more
strange dino it was like two poems in my head the one I read before the background and the other after I knew more about what the poem was about. I like my version of your poem better when it was about me
oh well
don't quit you day job
just a fan in texas.
thanks for the poetry.
A good read
go figure
yes
I did
think it was good
gimme more
strange dino it was like two poems in my head the one I read before the background and the other after I knew more about what the poem was about. I like my version of your poem better when it was about me
oh well
don't quit you day job
just a fan in texas.
thanks for the poetry.
A good read
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
Re: the fizz of it all
i don't have a day job!
- still.trucking
- Posts: 1967
- Joined: May 9th, 2009, 12:56 am
- Location: Oz or someplace like Kansas
Re: the fizz of it all
I knew that you don't have a day job, I was just joking.
but if you did I would tell you to quit it and do poetry night and day.
Because I think you are very good, and I always understand your poems, without any explanation. How does that song go?
"Oh lord don't let me be misunderstood"
School is a job if you ask me.
but if you did I would tell you to quit it and do poetry night and day.
Because I think you are very good, and I always understand your poems, without any explanation. How does that song go?
"Oh lord don't let me be misunderstood"
School is a job if you ask me.
- constantine
- Posts: 2677
- Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am
Re: the fizz of it all
was listening to the animals last night - a rendition of baby, let me take you home - killer!!
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