wild kingdom

[constantine]

observe, the lion
as he roams the savanna,
spraying his scent
much like his diminutive cousins
the female remains to protect her young
and just as the mother lion protects her cubs,
you can protect your children
with an insurance policy from mutual of omaha

now, we travel up the amazon,
deep within the jungle interior
our native guide, a jivaro head-hunter
recently converted by jesuit missionaries
paddles into the circuitous backwaters
of the amazon basin
as jim wrestles for his life
gripped within the muscular coils of a 30 foot,
300 pound anaconda
who, by the convulsive intensity of its savage contortions
probably hasn't eaten in a week or two
just as jim is caught within its suffocating reptilian grip
you too can escape the coils of dire circumstance
with an insurance policy from mutual of omaha

we shift now to the australian back country
to observe the flora and fauna of this isolated continent,
where life has evolved into unique and uniquely incredible
variations unlike any we have seen in our travels
our native guide, an aborigine affectionately known as hey you boy
has sniffed out the spoor of the canis lupus dingo
an apex predator, the largest of this strange and wonderful land
our guide emits a shrill bark - a mating call
as jim fights for his life, surrounded by a pack
of snarling alpha male sex-starved dingoes
you too can escape the bloody canines of misfortune
with an insurance policy from mutual of omaha

[SadLuckDame]

Ha! very fun, mr. u.
You're so natural at this,
it's wonderful.

[Kailashana]

Rolling on the floor laughing my arse off.

Sometimes you just got to spell it out.

[Steve Plonk]

Hey, great whimsical satire, Constantine, we are getting it...

[the mingo]