divorse, domestic violence

[creativesoul]

he hit me and hit me
he asked me if I wanted to "go to jail... lets go to jail" and i saw white bolts of light thru my head. I thought to myself, 'your children are grown and independent and sucessful, you have sundanced for four years, you have kept your commitments, been honorable, it is a good day to die"
the next morning I took my hollywood childhood into my own hands. Hi Honey, Good morning! Want some coffee?
We had to travel to Roseberg to share my experience strength and hope at a meeting. i was taught that when asked to share you cannot refuse, that you cannot keep it [recovery] unless you give it away. I had a black eye, a briused chin and although my new therapist and medical doctor and dentist were concerned that I was willing to go anywhere with him at all, I reassured them that I would just read a book.

he snaked his way into being the 15 minute speaker before me, because he cannot stand not to be in a dominant role, and has snake medicine, so he slithers through life. he eats rodents.
he tried to break my soul,but i was too strong, and quite frankly had documented everything with my attorney long before he suggested I not have coffee with an 80 year old man in my home.
He tried to build a castle made of sand, isolate me from my support systems, and control me with confusion and tantrums and phrases that only the lower class speak such as"quit talking smack"
Everytime he came back from Roseberg it was like pig pen with uglier and meaner entities surrounding him.It did not matter what I said, what I asked, or wanted, he found fault with it.I am glad that i did not know what i know now about him while we were still under the same roof. I would have killed him in his sleep.
the sex was terrible and the back door to his meth cook wanna be rock star was open and a very cold draft leaked in...he lied, cheated and was not honorable.
I think he should go back to prison.I do not think he should get custody of his children and if anything happens to me there will be retribution. I did not ask for that, I was told that that is a fact.
In my little domestic violence group I asked "how long did you feel fractured, do you ever get a feeling like healing or like you got your life back" One woman said "yes".
when I called the domestic violence place I was crying and said "I was so stupid" the woman said" lawyers and doctors get beat up too. you are not stupid.
I knew that. Somewhere deep inside I knew That I was whole and clean and beautiful. He tried to steal it. He could not. I am the one that got away. I aim to protect other women from this maggot.

[saw]

whew, a lifetime of pain and the resolve it takes to break the bonds of cruelty and domination...this piece is a tribute to the courage and fortitude necessary to end an abusive relationship.....honest and powerful, creativesoul.........

[Lightning Rod]

isn't there a web site for this sort of thing? badboyfriend.com or something?

strong piece CS

[Nazz]

creativesoul, your inner strength, perseverence, and sense of life and consciousness is towering. It breaks my heart to read this, as it broke your heart to write it. Shit, the whole place is paved with it. I guess for now all one could hope for is quiet. Beauty tends to grow back from quiet, given half a chance.

[creativesoul]

you all save me
your love comes through
the screen and your writing
i love you all
peace

[hester_prynne]

Indeed, a maggot of death.
Stay away from it.

H