Screenplay

[Lightning Rod]

In the first scene Bert Parks is a white-faced mannequin and escorts you through a chamber of horrors like Miss America and McDonald's and Victoria's Secret. It's a typical establishing scene. It let's you know you are in an alternative world where anything is possible.

The music thickens as we ask, "Who is Willie?"

That's when SHE walked in. The ski guy had never seen a gunslinger wearing eye make-up. By some obscene logic he deduced that she had not worked for Victoria's Secret in a long time. She smelled of Halston and gunpowder. It was intoxicating, like flowers and danger.

"Where can I find Willie?" she said. A hush fell over the house. After a moment and from the corner of her eyes, someone cleared his throat and the piano player began to plunk out a tentative rag. She laid her six-gun on the bar and looked the tender in the eye and said, "Whiskey, and don't be shy."

Willie wasn't gonna say nothing. He nursed his drink and kept his chin close to his chest. Bert Parks was scary enough but this woman looked wicked in a way that he could barely imagine. Her leather pants were split under her chaps enough for him to see the fishnet hose. He didn't know whether to slip out the back or try to seduce her. Why was she looking for him?

He decided to sit tight and see what happened. He ordered another drink, water straight up. He felt in his pants for his gun. It was just a small gun but had always served well in an emergency.

[Nazz]

"Bert Parks is a white-faced mannequin"... that one made me shudder a bit. Nice descripts throughout, especially that third paragraph.

[Lightning Rod]

here is Lrod as Bert Parks in whiteface

[SmileGRL]

...cool writ, LRod. i can imagine someone like madeline stowe playing that part.

(bert looks like michael jackson to me, dude. but that's a whole other kind of scary )