Revelation

[.Lucy.]

Revelation
Be it a single drop
trailing its way down from the heavens
or an animated rainstorm,
precipitation puddled on muddy City streets-
my reflection follows me everywhere.

The image of me swirls around
rainboots and stilettos
as harried New Yorkers rush by me.
A splash of someone's venti pumpkin mocha latte
-part skim/ part half and half
three splendas, low-fat whipped cream-
slightly muddles my reflection.

But I can see myself clearly through all of this.

I contemplate what stares back at me.
Nothing notable has changed,
except something,
something hard to define
exists where there once was insecurity.

Illness, pain, disillusion.
These things could have torn me apart,
but they haven't.
Betrayal, anguish, hardship.
These things could have defeated me,
but they haven't.

What I see so clearly through the rain:
my Sense of Self.

It has taken me years to see,
years to understand.
I'm stronger, not weaker
with every obstacle I face.

I may not always accept
the width of my curves,
the features on my face.
These don't define who I am.

I know who I am.
I know what I want.

I fight.
With perhaps a tear in my heart,
with perhaps a little trepidation in my bones.

Nonetheless I fight,
because pain doesn't stop me from battling,
because fear doesn't impede me from wrangling
the obstructions that life throws at me.

I keep a smile on my face,
and let my heart and mind go forward.

It's taken years to get here,
but I've finally arrived.

LT
9-27-10

[joel]

with acceptance and fighting and tears in your heart and pain...with a sense of self and autoconversation with the reflections...that's a cool way to arrive--and to be in transit--and to relax after a journey--and to acknowledge that there may still be a more final destination--and something, perhaps, beyond that. nice poem. i hope it reflects nicely on the features of your face, and within the mind behind them. "be bold, be strong...."

[saw]

there are no shortcuts to contentment, we are detoured into heavy traffic often during our journey.....do we panic, or take long slow deep breaths....
our experiences teach us we can ride it out....

on the other side of town is a nice country road, so we put the top down,
take in the landscape..........keep-a-rollin' !

[joel]

Revelation
I keep a smile on my face,
and let my heart and mind go forward.

Beautiful poem. Beautiful life. & Beautiful irony...that you keep a smile on your face, but your icon takes it away! I really like this one, Lucy...and I've enjoyed reading the apparent progression of your self-strengthening. I don't know how much is autobiographical or how much is poetic lisence, but I know it all is gently tender in how it reaches out. Keep smiling, keep shining (and all that other stuff Ms. Warwick sang about when we were little).

[.Lucy.]

Thank you! I've felt all of my poetry as of late has been pretty bland and blah. I'm not particularly proud of the writing itself, but being that it's been quite cleansing (and yes, autobiographical all the way) I can at least say it's helpful to chronicle what I've been going through. So I continue writing so I can get all the blah out and hopefully get to something hearty and good.

The words of encouragement always help, so I thank everyone sincerely for the support and kind words.

Thank you so much!!!

[.Lucy.]

Oh, and about the avatar-

Well, I decided I didn't like it so I took it down.

Then I realized, even though I don't always like the way I look, it doesn't mean I shouldn't accept that this is who I am.

So it's back up again.

Til further notice, heh.

[Doreen Peri]

I love the new avatar! You're a lovely lady!

And, as always, your writing is honest and heartfelt.

Revelations like this are beautiful things. Keep on keepin' on, girl!

(check your biotch column... I think you've got a letter! )

[joel]

Doreen, ditto on the avatar opining; and I like your avatar too! Here's two good revelations!